<p>My daughter’s attending a Bat Mitzvah tomorrow. What would be an appropriate amount for a gift?</p>
<p>That’s easy. At least around here it’s traditional to give money in mulitples of 18. (The Hebrew word for life (chai) has the numerical value of 18 in Judaism.)</p>
<p>She can also get something like a silver necklace or earrings, a collection of toiletries, or a gift card to a favorite store.</p>
<p>Yes, multiples of 18, with $18 being good enough for not a close friend, and more for closer one. It is usualy a gift card. That is how it goes where we live.</p>
<p>All good advice. Gift giving is at the reception, not at the service.</p>
<p>dke,
What part of the country do you live in, because the size of the average gift (unfortunately) may vary greatly by location. (I have learned this from prior CC threads.)</p>
<p>I give a lovely card and/or token gift, containing notice that I have made a donation in the young person’s name to a charity that promotes Jewish values.</p>
<p>Yep, the 18’s have it. D received many variations of 18. $18 gift cards, $18 cash, 18 CDs (from my brother)…etc.</p>
<p>On Long Island- $36 or $54 (if closer friend)</p>
<p>Chicago area here. If it was just a more casual friend and just my child was invited, I’d do $36. If the child was a friend of the family and / or I knew the parents very well, I think $72 would be the minimum.</p>
<p>We’re in the Southeast.</p>
<p>Here in South Florida, the standard is to give $36 dollars for a casual friend and $50 or $54 dollars (we put a check in a money card) for a close friend. We have much experience with this (three kids all had Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and attended about 30 each)!</p>
<p>A friend of mine was talking about her daughter’s bat mitzvah, and mentioned that one of the girl’s favorite gifts was… two tickets to the opera. “Made her feel very grown up” said the mom.</p>
<p>Yeah, I think the number you expect to attend impacts what you’ll pay!</p>
<p>dke - If you’re not interested in the $18, it’s not a big deal if you give another sum (e.g., $25, $50). No offense will be taken!</p>
<p>I find it curious giving monetary gifts for religious events. I feel the same thing with First Communion and Confirmation. I usually give a gift with religious significance.
I also find it odd that people feel the need to give what is “customary”. My friends at work were talking about giving gifts worth $25-$30 for each friend’s birthday party their children attend. They were all saying what a financial strain this is. How about giving what you are able to give and what you feel is appropriate.</p>
<p>18-36-72, etc that is the usual, but otherwise a gift certificate is as good</p>
<p>And, to what keymom said, may I add an “amen.”</p>
<p>^^ I don’t think it’s curious to give a monetary gift for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Many kids will donate a portion of their gifts to charity or save it for college. But regardless, no one is compelled to give money or any set amount. For those who have no familiarity with the event it’s nice to have a framework of local customs.</p>
<p>Keymom, please rest assured it is quite common in the Jewish community to give a monetary gift for a bar/bat mitzvah (though other gifts are appropriate as well). And of course people should only give what they are able to give, whether that’s $18 or $180.</p>
<p>It can be problematic to give a Jewish religious gift unless you know what you’re doing. No matter how well-meaning!</p>