I agree with your second point but I’m not sure about the former. As the article mentions “ in January 2024, Oklahoma lawmaker Dusty Deevers proposed a bill to eliminate no-fault divorce”. It also states: “Restricting no-fault divorce is also part of both the Texasand Nebraska Republican Party platforms, and was recently debated by Louisiana lawmakers.”
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Let’s just go back to the days of miserable couples coexisting in the same house, with their kids walking on eggshells. I grew up around plenty of these couples. No one wanted to spend much time at their houses. Oh, and let’s publish any divorces in the local newspaper, too, like they used to. You know how important it is to embarrass the folks who fail in marriage. The 50’s and 60’s were just such grand times.
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Too many of the legislators themselves have no fault divorces to ever allow it to pass.
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But those same legislators often believe “rules for thee, but not for me”!
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Yes, I’d very much be sad.
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As I’ve thought about this more (and I may have already written this once - lol) I would be sad because I know my ds wants to marry and have children. So, if those things don’t happen, yes, I would be sad for him. If he chose not to pursue marriage and family that would be different.
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That’s how I feel. If my kids wanted those things and they couldn’t happen for them then I’d feel sad for them. But not for me. I don’t need grandkids for myself. I’ve got a neurotic grand dog and two grand kitties. That’s plenty for me. I do hope my kids will find really solid friends or a partner so they aren’t alone and have support through life but I have no need for grandkids for me.
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Absolutely the same. Definitely not because of me but because if that’s what they want, that’s what I wish for them
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The problem is there is still so much cultural (and personal) pressure. Again the title asks us if we would be sad. It could just ask us how would we feel. There is an inherent bias here.
I have been divorced since 2010 so am single. One of my friends looked at me sadly and said 'I am so sorry you haven’t found what I have" (meaning the husband she seems to argue with all the time!) I don’t think she will ever understand how offensive that was. The suggested “sadness,” the implication that my life is somehow less than.
So yeah, it is generally perceived as “sad” when young people don’t marry or want kids, but the same bias applies to some of us older folks too!
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I think that it’s like lots of personal experiences.
I have a relative who’s a widow. They recently retired and went on a 7 week vacation. By themselves.
I know they wish that trip would have been with their spouse who they had hoped to travel in retirement with.
I felt bad. Actually I was very sad. Because I know they made the best out of an experience that they wish they never had.
It’s the same thing I feel about having grandchildren.
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I feel the same strongly. And I think that is OK. It is fine to feel sad about things that are not for us to decide or that are out of our control. I know that I would actively enjoy having grandchildren and I don’t think there is anything wrong with feeling sad if it doesn’t happen as long as I don’t pressure my kids to reproduce or marry. My parents never pressured me to have children, but they have gotten a lot of joy in their grandchildren. To be brutally honest, they’ve probably gotten more joy out of the grandkids’ childhoods than they got out of my siblings or me when we were small or teenaged --can’t say that I blame them. 
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My sister really appears to enjoy being a grandma much more than she did being a mom. It’s a different role with different expectations and she’s in a different phase of life.
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I think you’ve expressed things well. The point about not pressuring to reproduce or marry is a good one. I’ve witnessed the good intentions of friends and extended family members pressuring their young adult children. I guess it doesn’t rise to the level of interference but it does make for an uncomfortable situation. Comments like “on one’s death bed, people dont wish they’d spent more time at work” have made me cringe…even though I understand the sentiment.
The only thing my parents did better than parenting was grandparenting! 
I want happy kids, so if they want and have kids, I am happy. If they don’t want kids and don’t have them, I am happy.
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Interesting thread!
Having kids is such a lifelong responsibility - full of deep joy and gratification but challenging times, worry, and limitations too.
If my kids wanted to have children of their own I’d be thrilled for them. But given what an all-encompassing experience parenthood is - if they do not, I’d of fully support their choices.
It is a unique experience that could add incredible dimension to their lives. But the call is so completely theirs I wouldn’t want to put one whit of pressure on in this area!
Note: both adult kids have said (separately): “Don’t expect grandchildren children.” Lol. I replied (to each): “That choice is SO yours I have nothing to add!”
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My daughter told me she wasn’t sure if she could raise a child for 18 years. I told her 18 years is ‘round one.’
But also told her if she didn’t hurry up I’d be too old to do all the babysitting.
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I had never heard of this:
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I have! My ds was in undergrad at Stanford when this was launched. He and all his buddies did it. I don’t think any of his friend group had a relationship develop out of it, though. I had no idea it had spread to other campuses.
I hadn’t thought about this in a long time. I remember ds’s match being from Texas, and he hopes to move there after he graduates from b-school in June. So, I sent this article and reminded him of that. No idea if she was from the area he hopes to move to. Or if she lives there now. Or if she’s single. But, hey - no harm in a nudge!!
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I didn’t know that this was an official thing. D had this loose agreement with a friend from college - I think they are officially past that date now, but it’s a non-starter since he came out as gay a few years after
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