<p>Not meant as a “catchy” way of attracting attention, not meant to scare anyone. I worked my ass off in high school. Totally. All my friends consider me “smart” and “oh wow you applied to Harvard, Princeton, Yale, etc???” And I felt good that all those hours paid off. Well, I got rejected by Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Brown, and waitlisted at Duke. My 5 top choices down the drain. I imagine that my parents (although understanding, giving me all that “it’s nothing personal” shi-t) are slightly disappointed… what will I tell my friends? These next four years will be hell. Going to my sixth choice? Honestly, I’m not going to do anything any more. I don’t care about high school. Straight As first 3 and a half years, now I just don’t care. I got into UVA and William and Mary and VA Tech. I apply to 8 schools, and I get that. Worthless. I dread having to tell my hopeful friends, my helpful teachers. I dread facing my parents, looking them in the eyes. I dread telling my grandfather, who did EVERYTHING he possibly could to scramble up money so that I could afford a 40,000 dollar eduaction. He did it, too. Now I tell him it’s over. Not worth it.</p>
<p>Sigh, 3 days ago life was awesome. Monroe scholars at WM and possible Echols at UVA indicated that I had a good shot at Ivies. I was wrong.</p>
<p>So I ask, those who say “it’s what you make of college,” or “as long as you’re happy it’s ok”- what exactly is ok? I’ve talked to some of my closer friends and they try to comfort me, saying uva will be ok, i can transfer, i’ll be alright, bla bla bla. What I say is this: I’m a failure. Now all you who got in, I’m happy for you. Please, laugh at me, see how pitiful I am, taking this like this. Oh well. It’s alright. </p>
<p>13 years ago, I didn’t get into Stanford or MIT, and I enrolled at UIUC, majoring in electrical engineering.</p>
<p>At my workplace (I’m in Iowa), the top two alma maters are Iowa State and University of Iowa. My alma mater is 5th. The other colleges most represented are Midwestern state schools (like North Dakota State). Stanford, MIT, Caltech, Ivies, Duke, etc. aren’t even on the list.</p>
<p>If not going to an Ivy-type college meant the end of the world, my employer should never have gotten off the ground, much less become a leading defense communications company.</p>
<p>The good and bad elements in your academic record won’t matter in 5 years. Nobody cares today that I was salutatorian of my high school class, AP Scholar with Honor, and National Merit Finalist. On the other hand, nobody cares about the academic skeletons in my closet. (And I have an MSEE, so you can bet that I’ve had time to accumulate several. The fact that I barely earned my MSEE is one of them.)</p>
<p>< But people care- for the rest of your life- if you went to Harvard or not. >
I’m not so sure. Do you care where the adults in your life went to college?</p>
<p>For the benefit of everyone else:
Think of how much easier this makes college. Now that you know that nobody owes you a living just because of your academic credentials, you now know that you don’t have to be a top student in college. I actually slept more in college than in high school. If I approached college with the everything-must-be-perfect mentality I had in high school, I would have been up all night every night studying. Instead, I managed to sleep at least 7 hours per night most of the time, and I was in electrical engineering. And I passed - I graduated from UIUC with a GPA of 4.13 (A=5).</p>
<p>< Whats your point…??? and how will this comfort us total rejects? ></p>
<p>So many people would gladly trade places with you right now and think it’s dumb to be despondent over having to choose among Virginia Tech, University of Virginia, and William and Mary. Never forget that. Admittedly, I have the perspective of being 13 years ahead of you. It’s amazing how many things that once seemed all-important can seem trivial in the long run.</p>
<p>But, see, life isn’t all about the HUGE future. Ok so I’ll make a decent living having gone to UVA. But life is made up of small, joyful moments- an acceptance to Princeton- all my family, friends, etc. knowing this- and me rejoicing over this- is worth just as much as a good job. Steps- this being an important one. Because in life, today, an Ivy acceptance is worth just as much joy as a rich life and a brand new BMW will mean in 10- you know what I’m saying? For me, this meant as much as being rich or whatever may mean for others (earn respect, etc.) it’s just in an earlier part of my life.</p>
<p>I don’t know if my point really came across.</p>
<p>Your top 5 choices should be considered as one choice- because they are all equally crapshoots and as you know if you read these boards- that they deny equal quality of students as those they admit.
For students who are set on applying to hypercompetitive schools they should apply but then put it aside and focus on good schools that can be just as good of a fit with more reasonable expectations of admittance.
So to attend your 6th choice - is really attending your 2nd choice.</p>
<p>If you really don’t want to go to your other choices… don’t.
Spend a year traveling- volunteering- doing something where you can focus on something beside the culminating event of being admitted to your top choice college.
When your year is finished, reapply to those brand name schools you have your heart set on, you may find that they see the extra maturity you have gained as tipping your application in your favor. You may also find that you have different criteria for a school and have something altgether different in mind, in any case I think it is a very valid option and one I hope you will consider.</p>
<p>i have a similar experience. i got rejected from every college i applied except johns hopkins which waitlisted me. the point that i make is to face defeat, restart in college and you wiill succeed later in live. i dream to become a nobel lauraete, and when i do, they will see that i am still not th==w ===and i. maybe the colleges amde mistakes; make them regret. do i make sense?> man,i am too drunk</p>
<p>scherzo - It is only normal that you would feel down, bitter and disappointed when several schools have said No. But you need to allow yourself to recognize the other side of the coin as well. UVa, W&M are also top schools. The declines from HYPB say nothing about you and everything about there being so many qualified applicants. You know that, but it is hard to focus on at the moment. You went very “top-heavy” with your apps and so you tipped the numbers against yourself in the results. If you had applied to fewer HYPS and more top schools not quite so selective, your acceptance results would be very different. </p>
<p>Being able to say that you went to UVa or W&M will get plenty of respect, just being able to say that you went to Harvard, as you move on in your adult life.</p>
<p>Many, many students would be envious of your acceptances. Please allow yourself to enjoy them. Good luck!</p>
<p>But you are in no way a total reject. You got into 3 very, very good schools. I as a parent of FIVE am so very happy for you and a bit envious. What are the benefits of being a Monroe scholar? I am sure there is some scholarship money associated with it and other goodies. Just think, your grandfather loves you so much that he found a way to come up with the money in case you needed it. </p>
<p>He loves you that much. I mean really loves you. He doesn’t care where you go as long as you go and are happy. You have parents that also love you and want you to be happy as well. Maybe what you owe them is not an accpetance to an “ive-league” school but a grown-up, mature attitude about your current options. Yeah, it may sound like garbage but it is what YOU make of it. Your steps from now on will determine the adult you will be, the difference you will make.</p>
<p>It is all about how many lives you can touch, what will you do to make a real difference. Which of your 3 schools will help you become the best person you can be? Which has the major you enjoy, the campus where you will be comfortable enough to take risks? Where you will meet new and exciting people, fellow students and professors? Which one will give you time to travel and study abroad more easily? Where can you have great contacts for internships?</p>
<p>Get excited about your options. Some people and I do know this first hand do not have any of your options. You have family that loves you. Give something back to them today, right now. Research your 3 schools with vigor, and pick one and don’t look back. The schools that accepted you, believe in you. Make sure that their belief in you is justified.</p>
<p>It is you that decides whether you are happy with your admission decisions. Not the schools, not your parents, family, friends, teachers. You are in control, do something with it.</p>
<p>Good luck and most importantly,
no regrets.</p>
<p>Unless you are a multimillion dollar legacy donor with your name plastered on a few buildings, all you could do is toss your hat in the ring. Your getting rejected does not say that you are not smart, it just states** the facts that there was approximately a 90% chance against you not being admitted** and the odds panned out. </p>
<p>However, at the end of this process, you are walking away with Monroe scholars at WM and possible Echols at UVA, 2 schools which exaclty are not chopped liver and this places you in a better situation than a lot of other people. </p>
<p>No school is worth being Bitter, borderline suicidal over. Who cares what other people think? What is important is what you think of your self. You will only be a failure if you allow your self to be one. You now have two choices, you can curse the darkness, or you can light a candle and move on. I hope you do the latter.</p>
<p>Wahoowah! I went to UVA. It’s not that bad! </p>
<p>You have three good choices left. Some kids have one, or none. I hope you can learn to love one of the three you have remaining, or take a gap year and give it another shot.</p>
<p>You have 3 good choices. Read the thread in the Parents’Forum started by Andi We’re Picking up the Pieces. Her highly qualified S did not get into the Ivies he applied to and got waitlisted at 3 other schools. No acceptances. That is tough. Getting into UVA, W&M and VaTech is not.</p>
<p>< But life is made up of small, joyful moments- an acceptance to Princeton- all my family, friends, etc. knowing this- and me rejoicing over this- is worth just as much as a good job. >
The rejoicing would have to give way to normal life again. In the real world, there is NO such thing as “happily ever after”, even if the Academic Performance Cult claims otherwise.</p>
<p>< Because in life, today, an Ivy acceptance is worth just as much joy as a rich life and a brand new BMW will mean in 10- you know what I’m saying? >
In the neighborhood where I grew up, nobody had a BMW or Mercedes. Outside the West coast, the Northeast, and the Mid-Atlantic, hardly anyone drives an ultra-expensive luxury car.</p>
<p>I can’t tell you much about Tech or W&M, but my four years in Charlottesville were pretty damn good. UVA was obviously not your first choice, but if you give the place half a chance you might just end up liking it. </p>
<p>You are certainly disappointed with the responses from your top five. Your parents and grandfather may be disappointed for one reason or another too. You now have an opportunity to show them and yourself what you are made of.</p>
<p>In five months you will have a new set of classmates and teachers. They will value you for the abilities and attitudes you bring with you, not for the numbers you put up in high school or the names of the schools that accepted or rejected you. The very few who come to college trying to impress people with that kind of crap soon realize that nobody else cares about that stuff.</p>
<p>Wherever you wind up, you will do yourself a favor if you leave the bitterness and cynicism behind. That may seem hard to do right now, but try to look forward to the freedom that any of your remaining college choices will provide. Getting rid of all the petty high school drivel and the day-to-day parental control issues is a wonderful thing.</p>
<p>Finally, if you are so depressed that you are having thoughts of harming yourself or others, please seek help. If you feel that there is nobody that you can turn to, a call to 1-800-SUICIDE will connect you with someone who is there for you 24/7. You’ve got a lot of folks behind you here in the CC community. Feel free to vent like you did today whenever you need to. We hope that you will be sharing better news with us very soon.</p>