<p>Getting your education at UVA will be like trying to drink all of the water in an Olympic sized pool. Getting educated at HYP would be like trying to drink a pool and a half. You’re no going to exhaust the resources of either institution. As for the prestige factor that wears off in a few weeks for you. A week for your parents, and about one minute for those you will meet over the years. I can’t tell you where my colleagues went to college. There is one exception to the “it doesn’t matter rule”: my cousin was in the marines with a Harvard graduate. The association with Harvard was great for picking up girls in bars, a technique he called “dropping the H bomb”.</p>
<p>Scherzo, you were accepted at some awesome schools; your grandfather saved money for you because he loves you very much and simply wants you to be very happy. He would be thrilled if you went to your local community college, as long as you were very happy there, and he’d pay the same $40 K for it. </p>
<p>Your friends are going to be too into their own situations to spend much time considering yours, and your family is going to be very happy and proud of you, and very excited about helping you get ready for college, and supporting you while you’re there. At the end of the day, they don’t care what is the name of the school you’re headed to, they just very much want you to be happy and fullfilled. </p>
<p>It’s not about the name or price tag of the school, it’s the things you will do, the people you will meet, the leaders and mentors you will find, the interesting coursework you will study, the new life-long friendships you will form, and the personal development you will experience when you get to college. </p>
<p>My D is a junior, very, very happy pursuing two separate undergrad degrees, a top ranked D-1 athlete, president of student senate, and recently nominated for a national scholar athlete award. An endless list of wonderful, nice new friends - people I know she will remain in touch with for life. I have never seen her so happy - my only worry is that she will never be able to be this happy again in life. Oh, and she’s attending her safety school - a school where she actually retrieved the application out of the garbage after I insisted she have at least one “can’t miss” safety. It’s a very nice school with an excellent national reputation but not as highly ranked as UVA or W&M. She was rejected from Harvard, Yale, Duke, and Cornell - even though her stats, ECS and recs were entirely appropriate for those schools.</p>
<p>My point is you have a chance to be very, very happy and successful - if you give one of these three schools a chance. What do you want to study, anyway? What are you interested in? Why not drill into these three colleges and see which one may be the best fit? There must be something appealing about them, otherwise why did you apply? And no, people don’t care if you’ve been to Harvard, or to your community college. They really don’t. What they do care very much about is the quality of your intellect, the intensity and direction of your passions, your ethics, your integrity, how you treat others, if you respect yourself, etc. </p>
<p>Oh, and one last point - attending a top-ranked school does not guarantee a high income or perfect career, and attending a lessor ranked school does not restrict an income or a career. Me: well over six figures, no debt, homeowner, personal and business references include names you’d see in the New York Times or Washington Post, etc., turn down at least three - four new job offers a year, even during the recession, guess where I went to college lol. What guarantees personal success or high income is having genuine compassion about the needs and interests of others, interacting with people in a positive, supportive manner that build relationships for the long term, an understanding of how to develop your skills, and focus on doing work that you enjoy. </p>
<p>So please take another look at those three schools…you’re not a failure, you’re just a bit off balance right now. </p>
<p>Oh - one last word about your parents - I am sure they are not going to be disappointed in you. I’m betting their love for you is unconditional, and would remain so no matter what - even if you didn’t get into any college at all.</p>
<p>Life will always hand you disappointments and yours is quite minor in the scheme of things (though it doesn’t seem so now). Go to UVA or one of the other two that accepted you and make the best of it. If you graduate summa or magna cum laude, you’ll be able to get in to the graduate or professional school of your choice.</p>
<p>To pin feelings of self worth on acceptance into a lottery school is beyond silly today. I hear you though, accomplishing your goals is what much of life’s joy is about.</p>
<p>So buck up and decide how important your choice of schools is to you. If UVA really won’t make you happy, defer, do something great for a year and reapply to the dream schools (and maybe some lower ivies to be a little safer!).</p>
<p>Oh yeah, my wife has a six figure income with a community college degree and my brother-in-law (college drop out) is CEO of a public company. </p>
<p>Ask your doctor where his undergraduate degree is from. Most of the MDs I know went to state schools.</p>
<p>Monroe and Echols are absolutely nothing to scoff at. </p>
<p>It sounds as though you are in-state. If you are, your grandfather’s money (in addition to those scholarship options) will allow you to attend undergrad for next to nothing. If you were going to be spending the next four years in Cambridge, that money of his would be gone in a flash. And I’m willing to guess that when the time to apply to grad school rolls around, you’ll be happy to have it tucked away.</p>
<p>I usually try to be encouraging, but I will tell you right now, young man, that you are a failure. “What will I tell my friends, how will I face my parents, I can’t face my grandfather.” You are a failure when it comes to seeing your own accomplishments. These are your friends, your relatives - your parents, for heavens’ sake! Do you think they judge you by what school you get into? Of course not. Why do YOU? And equally important: why do you judge yourself exclusively by what other people think?</p>
<p>Right now I work for an incredibly bright and good human being, who graduated from Seton Hall. We’re going to fire a recent graduate of Princeton, who can’t figure out how to tie his shoes and has the people skills of a garden hose. </p>
<p>There are a lot of kids, particularly on this board, who think that getting into the “right” school is a huge accomplishment. They are all going to have a big shock when they realize that getting into one school instead of another is not really the goal, it’s only a rung on a very long ladder. Sure, my boss would have prefer to be accepted to HYP. But do you think it really crosses his mind now? </p>
<p>There’s a saying - “fall down 7 times, get up 8”. At your age, you’ve only fallen down a few times. This is one of those times. Now, since you are really very smart, be smart enough to get up.</p>
<p>You know, the love of your life is very likely making plans to attend one of those schools you’ve been admitted to, and if you don’t get yourself over there, you’ll never meet. Not only that, but someone at one of those places (you get to choose, aren’t you lucky?) is going to make you laugh really, really hard. I’d go visit those places and see if I could figure out which place you’ll find these things at, then send in my deposit.</p>
<p>Absolutely awesome post, lefthandofdog.</p>
<p>Getting an acceptance feels great, awesome, it’s an ego boost, you feel like you accomplished something (even if a big part of it is luck). Getting a rejection letter feels like crap, it hurts, a punch in the gut, you are unwanted, unworthy and a failure. So you have 3 of the former, 5 of the latter, winge a bit, (as you are doing here), get over it and have a great life. You can only attend one school anyway.</p>
<p>scherzo. I understand you are feeling embarrassed and disappointed but you can’t pack a sad because you didn’t get what you wanted in a crapshoot. </p>
<p>That’s called a temper tantrum and it’s not a good look. </p>
<p>It isn’t warranted because you have two great schools. My niece first turned down H to go to W&M undergrad. She got a great education. Loved it. Now she’s a died-in-the-wool state school advocate. She turned down H med school to go to a state university!</p>
<p>Let fate take you someplace unplanned, scherzo. If you have half the potential you seem to have at 18, there is no telling where the journey will go. Let go of the bitterness and go have fun!</p>
<p>Ah, don’t worry about how your parents and friends will feel - it’s so much more painful just thinking about it. They will all surely understand; it’s not <em>that</em> big of a deal!</p>
<p>Anyhow, you can always kick ass and get into an Ivy for grad school. And don’t lose hope on Duke!</p>
<p>“Steps- this being an important one. Because in life, today, an Ivy acceptance is worth just as much joy as a rich life and a brand new BMW will mean in 10-”</p>
<p>First, I agree that if you feel suicidal, please call the hotline 1-800-suicide. Not getting into several colleges is not worth your life. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, longterm happiness has nothing to do with whether you get into a dream school or later get a BMW. Research indicates that people’s level of happiness basically remains the same. Winning the lottery may make people feel happier for about a month. After that, they are back to their baseline.</p>
<p>Getting into your dream college would have made you feel great for a couple of weeks, afterward, you’d be back to your baseline.</p>
<p>The same is true about things like not getting into your dream college. Yes, you feel bad immediately after, but typically, in a few days, you will be back to your normal level of happiness or sadness.</p>
<p>Wow, you guys are all great. Really gives another perspective on things. I’m still depressed, but not as much. Woke up this morning, an utter shock- reality hit me, I realized it wasn’t just a bad dream. Then I checked this site, and all your replies made me feel a lot better. Of course it will take a while to get over it totally, but I realize suicide or whatever is not the way to escape this, or make things better. I need to fight it, and appreciate your support and kind words. If it’s ok, I’ll stick around this forum a bit, as I truly appreciated each and every reply I received last night.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Scherzo (which ironically means “joke” in Italian)</p>
<p>Scherzo:</p>
<p>That’s the spirit! Things usually look better after the first shock has passed.</p>
<p>Wow. You really ARE smart ! Good for you.</p>
<p>Scherzo - Northstarmom once said something to me re my own S “rejections” earlier in his life. She said that what he has done since shows his resilience. And, more importantly, he will have major advantages over kids who have known nothing but easy success. It meant a lot to me to see my S in that light. And that is exactly what I see you now doing. </p>
<p>For lots of this year’s applicants, getting into HYPS has been just another expected result. You have gotten into some top schools; but you have also faced a significant disappointment and are getting over it. That will be an invaluable aspect of your life experience and personality from this day forward. You will be the better person for it.</p>
<p>Others, having known nothing but easy success so far, will inevitably face setbacks in the future and may not be equipped to handle that. You are ahead of the game and it will serve you well.</p>
<p>And, please, DO stick around. We want to hear from you.</p>
<p>Hey! The song I’m listening to happens to play right in for this discussion :p</p>
<p>Bounce, bounce back
Shake it off, get right on track
Im moving on
Gotta put it in the past
Bounce, bounce back
Snap your fingers and just like that
I let it go
Gotta let it fade to black
Like a river
Cry all my tears
I have to swim through it
Dry it off, Im outta here
Bounce, bounce back
Shake it off, Im right on track
Ill be moving on
</p>
<p>Anyway, Northstarmom gave some excellent advice in the Harvard thread.
</p>
<p>And a rejection from an elite college certainly means you’re not a waste of an applicant. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I know so many people who went to no-name colleges and are very successful today, including my very own parents. Like REAL no-name colleges. UVA & William & Mary are great colleges. Seriously. Come on, UVA made it in the “CC Top College” list along with Stanford! So lift up your chin, and look ahead. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. :)</p>
<p>scherzo - I am glad you are feeling happier today! You have a lot to be proud of. I hesitated to jump in yesterday when you were so upset, but I wanted to tell you something that may interest you. When I graduated from hs in New Jersey in 1973, our class had at least 4 Princeton admits, 2 Harvard, and many to other prestigious schools, but NO ONE in our school could get into U.Va. (although people applied every year.) An acceptance to U.Va. at our school would have been judged a bigger deal than a Harvard acceptance. And the same pretty much holds true for acceptance to U. Va., William and Mary, and UNC-Chapel Hill from my kids’ Philadelphia suburbs public school today. So if you later move to PA or NJ and tell people you went to U.Va. or William and Mary, they will be VERY impressed 
It is all a matter of perspective!</p>
<p>Scherzo:</p>
<p>At first I was nervous about your thread title. Life is much too short - as you’ll find out as you get older - to let something like college admissions get you down. </p>
<p>Please go to this UVA website - <a href=“http://www.virginia.edu/notablealumni/chro.html[/url]”>http://www.virginia.edu/notablealumni/chro.html</a></p>
<p>It’s a list of notable alumni from UVA. With a few exceptions (Katie Couric and Hanan Ashawri) they are all distinguished and admirable people who I’m sure are very proud of having graduated from UVA. Two of my favorite newspeople - Brit Hume and Fred Barnes - are on the list. Tina Fey from Saturday Night Live, Benjamin McKenzie (actor on The OC) and even the current Miss America are UVA alums. C’mon - get with it.</p>
<p>I went to prep school for a few years and over 30 of my classmates went to Harvard - big **** deal! Many have done OK because they entered and left Harvard with inherited money. Many are in what I’d call dead-end jobs - partners at large law firms where they make a lot of money and have “status” but are bored out of their minds. Life is what you make of it. It’s not what college makes of you. Michael Dell of Dell Computers started his company from his dorm room at the University of Texas.</p>
<p>Last, there is much to be said about attending a Public University (and UVA is ranked in the top three or four). At a private school - you’ll have a lot of students from poor families on scholarship, a lot of rich kids, and a lot of middle-class kids who are bankrupting their families.</p>