^ Yup.
Yeah, Iâm sore thatâs true and I am a naive rule-follower!
@skieurope @CateCAParent Do you really think a âlotâ of kids are using non-prescribed (other kidsâ) ADHD medicine?
The ideal number of people using otherâs medication is zero. The number is higher than that, but I would not say itâs a majority or even a strong minority.
Define âa lot.â
So I asked DS about this, because Iâm curious whether other health centers are more lenient, parents are lenient/complicit, or what. He came home overnight for a sports event today and brought home his dose of meds for today. I had to email the health center to confirm that he took it. Of course, I could lie and he could give/sell it to a buddy (same for when Meds get mailed home over breaks), but it wouldnât cross my mind to do that. At school, he takes it in front of the nurse. Meds for breaks are mailed home or handed to a parent on campus. DS says that kids can get Adderall if they want it, but couldnât or wouldnât tell me how.
I know a kid who was expelled from a NE BS for selling his Adderall. So yes, there was a market. And yes, the school took it seriously.
^. Thatâs basically my understanding. Cate has a comparable medication policy- very controlled by the health center. Per kiddo, there are a number of kids with prescriptions, but I have no idea what percentage. I have my opinions about that trend, but that is another post.
Cate also has a low tolerance for drugs and alcohol. It is not a big part of the culture at all. There is an honor code that students truly adhere to. There are a couple of discipline cases each year, from what I hear.
Per kiddo, even with that, if he wanted to he could get performance enhancing meds. But he doesnât. And his friends donât. I figure if it is that way at Cate it is that way everywhere. The pressure to perform is incredible for teenagers these days. I can see the temptation being overwhelming. Especially if other kids are doing it already, just with a prescription. It is hard to draw a clear ethical distinction.
âNowhere is risk-free. I sleep well at night in the belief he is as safe (if not more) than he would be at home, but ymmv.â
I was having this thought this weekendâŠDD was sleeping over with cast mates of her current production, whom I donât know well. I had a hard time not worrying. It made me start thinking of teenage driving, late night behaviors and other risks surrounding kids who live at home vs the environment of kids at BS (on campus activities, no cars, etc)
In many ways, I think I sleep more soundly at night knowing my kid is in his dorm room or at the student activity center hanging out with friends than I would waiting for him to come home from a movie or late-night practice driving amongst other crazies out there.
And as others have saidâŠthe bad stuff (sexual, drugs, abuse of power) can happen anywhere, even while at home. But itâs all about how the school handles it. Thatâs what I researched when finalizing lists. BSâs have a lot at stake if they allow bad behaviors to continue, both from a legal and reputable aspect.
Iâd agree. When my kids are sleeping at school they have far less access to alcohol (for instance) than when theyâre sleeping at home and Iâm away.
And not out and about, driving around. DS got his license in the fall but doesnât drive much, and heâs barely driven alone. Itâs proving to be the hardest thing for me. Meanwhile, his friends at home are driving all over, including driving with other kids in violation of CTâs very stringent age restrictions. And I know kids drive while high.
DS is not really surprised any more at some of the stupid things kids do at school, but for the most part itâs in small hidden pockets, behind closed doors, and itâs easy to stay away from it. I think he may be in for a big shock at college, but for the time being I feel like heâs safe and secureâŠ
DS still hasnât gotten his license, heâs not in much of a hurry because he canât take a car to school. But those are the exact things I was thinking of this weekend.
If DD changes her mind and stays home for HS, I forecast plenty of nights of worry. And it isnât because I donât trust her, but I feel the environment lends itself to more risks.
The driving safety issue is huge. Kiddoâs friends from home are driving, getting into accidents, breaking the rules by driving friends, all of it. Plus, there is pretty easy access and use of alcohol, weed, drugs, etc.
I would have a hard time policing that were he home, if he ever wanted to partake.
By the time he hits college, I figure his being used to being away from home, and choosing his own friends, and making his own decisions will mean he is less likely to binge drink, etc in college. He will have less to prove and more confidence in who he is. Thatâs the hope, anyway.
At our school, kids are not allowed to keep controlled substances (adhd meds, etc) in their rooms. Parents drop off Adderall, etc, at the health center, and kids take the single-dose med in front of a nurse every day. My kid never had posession of the medication. At breaks, the parent has to come sign it out of the health center.
And the rules work perfectly for those who abide by them. The type of kid who sells his/hers/anyoneâs Adderall or other substance does not fall under that category. The school controlling the possession and distribution of a substance poses no deterrence to rulebreakers.
If inmates in prison can hide their stash, I am pretty sure a motivated bs student can do it, too.
The health center rules are close to the same everywhere. And I think it is safe to assume a kid can get contraband Adderall everywhere, too.
Students can get ANYTHING they want if they have the desire and the money, or generous friends with the money. Smartphones make it easier to arrange a meet-up as well than back in our high school days.
@doschicos is correct in stating that today âstudents can get ANYTHING they want if they have the desire, money or generous friendsâ. Yep - Smartphones make it easier. A friendâs son who attended a BS near a mid-size city demonstrated to his mom (a couple of years ago) HOW fast he could score drugs via Craigslist. Maybe 15 minutes at the most delivered to school faster than a pizza. Very eye-opening. Someone on CC a few years ago described a school where kids hid their stash - pretty well known place but I wonât repeat it here. There are room checks at schools. Usually happens after someone has been caught.
Seems like a fair bit of alcohol is being brought in from home to school. Alcohol and drugs are currency at school. For some it buys a type of popularity, maybe a temporary âboyfriend/girlfriendâ or fills a need to buy into a âfriendshipâ group.
Like others have said above, I honestly believe there are more risky behaviors, drugs, and drinking at the local school back home.
I just want to clarifyâŠI am not sure there are more risky behaviors at home and if thatâs what I suggested, I apologize. There are kids who are going to engage in shady acts no matter where you are. But kids at home have more freedoms to venture out into a community of others engaging in shady acts. So, the kids driving, even responsibly, are at risk being involved in an accident. Kids going out for ice cream late at night after rehearsal (when a BS would have curfew or lights out) are at risk of being caught up in a robbery, or shooting, or other incident because they are surrounded by an adult and adolescent population that is focused on other ambitions than education and success in the boardroom, so to speak.
I think kids will pick their friends accordingly and know who to stay away from and who to gravitate towards, for the most part. But living at home lends itself to more exposures of an untoward society and its activities. And each time a teen gets in the car to go to school, practice, a meeting, etc a parent has to wonder where their child really is and if theyâre safe/if theyâre in good hands. I havenât really had that worry about DS at boarding school. I have to admit-itâs been nice.
I agree. Although BS staff donât watch over our kids as much as the most hawk-like among us, the rules and the consequences do apply consistently (99% of the time). With high school kids at home, oneâs kids could always have peers whose parents are more lax about behaviors. Heck, some parents even host parties for underage students.