Boarding Schools --- What's the Deal?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Even though I spent thirty years in the field of education, I never quite “got” the whole concept of Boarding Schools. Help me out, please:</p>

<p>(1) Is there a “profile” of a typical boarding school student?</p>

<p>(2) Is there a “profile” of a typical parent of a boarding school student?</p>

<p>(3) What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of attending a boarding school?</p>

<p>(4) For those of you out there who attended a boarding school: If you had to do it over again, or would you prefer to attend a boarding school or a different type of school? Why?</p>

<p>Your input is greatly appreciated!</p>

2

<p>I thought you said you weren’t going to post here anymore:</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=321796[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=321796&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

3

<p>Why? what’s wrong with this persons posts? !?! </p>

<p>“…clearly ignorant and incapable of rational thought”</p>

<p>what??? how could you come to such a rash conclusion after hearing so little of what s/he has to say?</p>

4

<p>I believe there are 5 reasons why students go to boarding schools and 4 are bad.1) parent - child probem at home 2) parents want to be active in social scene, charity events and do not want to be bothered raising kids 3) parents get transferred from country to country in their jobs 4) parents squabbling or one parent has mental illness, etc. And the good reason : 5) kid needs something special, athletics, music or language etc that is only available at a boarding school.</p>

<p>If you read young Winston Churchill’s letters to his mother from his boarding school you will never send a child to boarding school.</p>

5

<p>courier: I asked the questions in my OP for the following reasons:</p>

<ul>
<li><p>I worked as a college counselor in a public school for 30 years, and my students gained admission to all of the same colleges as anyone else</p></li>
<li><p>Boarding schools are very expensive…just wondering what it is about them that would cause parents to spend that kind of money</p></li>
<li><p>Are there particular advantages to attending a boarding school over a public school? If so, what are they?</p></li>
<li><p>Is there a particular student/parent profile that is attracted to boarding school education (financially, intellectually, geographically, rural, urban, etc.)</p></li>
</ul>

<p>Again, I’m just trying to gain a greater understanding of these issues so I can gain more of an appreciation of the value of a boarding school education.</p>

6

<p>Many boarding schools offer:

  1. Increased social and economic diversity - Andover has students from 46 states and 24 countries; 41% of students recieve financial aid.<br>
  2. More academic options as far as AP’s and college level courses.
  3. Better academic and athletic facilities
  4. Higher-level athletic competition
  5. Unique extracurricular opportunities </p>

<p>Although some boarding schools may be regarded as places where parents send “bad” children, most do not fall into this group. Check out the websites and student bodies of schools such as Andover, Exeter, Deerfield, St. Paul’s. </p>

<p>It’s not all about college matriculation. If my primary goal in education was to attend Harvard, I probably would’ve been better off staying at my local high school. At my public school, I was among the top few students - At Andover, I’m in the middle of the pack. As another classmate of mine stated in another thread, if someone asked me to choose between attending prep school at Andover and attending college at Harvard, I would choose Andover. I don’t really know what else to say; it’s hard to explain in words how amazing my experience at prep school has been.</p>

7

<p>I don’t go to a normal boarding school (I attend a Governor’s school program, the only nine-month-residential in the country) so it’s not like my family pays out of pocket, but I think the experience has been similar to other boaring school kids. I attended a standard public before coming here, so I think I can compare both pretty accurately</p>

<p>1) There is no typical boarding student, but they all have certain things in common. We are more driven. Most of us because they want to suceed, very few, maybe 2%, because our parents make us. We ALL freak out about college in the sense that we really want to go somewhere great. Every student from my school is attending college somewhere, from comunity college to Julliard, they are going. The only exception are two guys who are going into professional ballet. One is the youngest to be signed into San Francisco, the other was accepted to Julliard, but turned down the offer because he wants to focus more on classical dance. Hardly slacking off. Our average SAT is 200 points higher than the national average despite the fact that we don’t use test as an admissions requirement. We take tougher classes voluntarily, have some idea about what we want to do with our lives, read for fun, know who Terry Riley is, are well organized, but deep down in side, are slackers at heart, who make up for it with a high IQ. And a good deal of my friends are can speak multiple languages, which is also a strange phenomenon, bc it’s a public school, and foreign language credits arn’t a requirement for admissions. People at my school, which is plopped in the middle of a very conservative state, tend to be extremely liberal.</p>

<p>2)Most of the parents of my friends are well-educated and respectable. Some (quite a few) of my friends have two doctors for parents, or a Dr. and Mrs _______. (and vice versa) We know the importance of education, and have been taught it from an early age by our parents. Even the people who arn’t flanked by two ph.d’s back home have been taught by some means or another how important study is. The parents are very supportive also. They usually are upper class or upper-middle class, even in my setting where the school is free. But nearly 25% of my class recieves assistance for food plans, which is all we are expected to pay, so there are exceptions to the “rich parents” theory.</p>

<p>3)The advatages are huge. This year I was taught by teachers with their terminal degrees in all except two of my classes. Most of my teachers are qualified to teach at the university level, and most of them have. The teachers at my school went to places like Emory, Yale, Columbia and Julliard, so I can pop in and ask “How was your time at Yale?” and due to our small student population, my teacher has time to really discuss it. It is also nice to have a recomendation signed “Dr._______, Yale class of '73” It’s like having a condensed alumni interview and teacher recomendation all-in-one. My peers tend to by intellectuals as well. I find myself in Starbucks talking about existentialism on a Tuesday night to avoid my calculus homework. I can walk around school with a copy of Ulysys by James Joyce and here other high school kids say “I read that over the summer. It’s amazing!” and they really did read it. Plus, boarding school is a great time to learn that with proper water intake, and certain vitamins from GNC, it’s completly possible to pass a randomised drug test. Which I think is a benefit to learn anytime. Other nice things: My school doesn’t rank, so I don’t have to worry about that on my college apps. My roommate played at Carnegie Hall a few months ago. The guy down the hall made a 5 on the AP calc test and an 800 on the SAT math section, so I can always get help on my homework. Several kids are bilinguel, so I can always get help with Spanish. I’ve heard readings given at my school by authors such as Pulitzer prize-winning Harvard professor Jorie Graham, MIT professor Alan Lightman, Dr. Maya Angelou, David Sedaris etc. 2/5 scholastic gold awards in writing went to my closest friends. I have the opportunity to take a ton of AP classes if I want. Three of my teachers have scored AP test, and one of them has helped write them. The teachers get to know students more personally. My counselor makes a point of meeeting with each of my 100 class mates in the spring to hash out college plans, and make notes for recomendations. The list goes on.</p>

<p>4)I have thought long and hard about this. I would never go back to a regular high school. I learned more in my first week of being here, than I did in a year at my regular public school. I think the only way I would give up going here is if I could do a study abroud program, besides that, boarding school is the best place for me.</p>

8

<br>

<br>

<p>Great, but unfortunately your previous apparently-earnest questions to “gain a greater undertanding” about some point or other usually turned out to be merely a device for creating thinly-disguised opportunities to flog your anti-selective school agenda.</p>

9

<p>old but wise- give it up. You have irritated everyone long enough. Why don’t you ask this question on the Boarding School forum?</p>

<p>Both of my kids went to boarding school. I suspect things have changed somewhat since “young Winston Churchill”. My daughter spent her last two years of high school at Interlochen Arts Academy and regards it as the greatest gift we, her parents, could have given her. She thrived academically and in her music, gained poise and formed life-long relationships with peers and mentors. My son attended several boarding schools after being kicked out of his local prep school for fighting at the end of 8th grade. There were no other academic options suitable for him in our city at that late point in the admissions process. His last school was amazing. He could hang out with his teachers/coaches and discuss books, news articles and sports. He was with intellectual and athletic peers. </p>

<p>Yes, we missed having our kids at home and being more involved in their high school experience, but we feel we gave them an experience that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.</p>

10

<p>Bigblue and Trackster: Thanks for the info. As one who knows virtually nothing about boarding schools, your insights are terrific and I have learned much from you. Sounds like they offer some great opportunities for learning and personal growth.</p>

11

<p>I can’t speak for all the boarding schools in the nation, but for the top 10 or so, think of it as why students want to go to the ivies for undergrad.</p>

12

<p>jnpn: At the age a child enters one of those top 10 boarding schools, does he/she have the capacity/enough life experience to know that an Ivy is truly the best type of college for him/her? Seems awfully young to be making those decisions if it is purely for the purpose of prepping a child for an elite college.</p>

<p>Also, in viewing others’ posts on this thread, it seems like there are a lot of benefits to having one’s child go to a boarding school. It can be a tremendous opportunity for educational and personal growth. But, there are certainly tradeoffs when making such a decision.</p>

<p>In raising our children, my wife and I felt as though it was very important for them to live in a family atmosphere through the age of eighteen. The primary reasons:</p>

<p>(1) My wife and I felt that it was important for our children to have an opportunity to interact with their siblings and with my wife and me on a daily basis through the age of 18. Those daily interactions (full of life’s ups and downs), especially the ones that took place between the ages of 14 and 18, were the ones that had the greatest impact on setting the stage for the relationships that currently exist among us as a family unit today. In looking back on the “roller coaster ride” my children went through as adolescents, it’s difficult to envision them having gone through it without the support of my wife and me and their siblings.</p>

<p>(2) The type of parent a child grows up to be is determined, in large part, by the example their parents, as role models, set for them. When adolescents interact with their parents on a day-to-day basis, they take what they learn from those interactions and put them in their “how to be a parent” file in their mind, for use in later life. If my children do a great job as parents, I hope that they can attribute it to what they learned from my wife and me.</p>

<p>I guess I look at it this way: Education is a lifelong process that does not come to an end at the age of 22, 45 or 70. Opportunities for continuous learning abound, especially with today’s technology (online learning, etc.). But, having the opportunity to forge family bonds does, in some respects, come to an end when children graduate from high school and go off in all different directions.</p>

<p>(3) Society is comprised of a variety of people (rich, poor, black, white, learning disabled, nerd and jock). It was important for my wife and me to make sure that our children, who went to a public school, learn to interact with those whom they will encounter on a day-to-day basis throughout their lives. </p>

<p>I’m not saying that my way is the right way, but, in my opinion, enhanced opportunities to grow in a variety of areas (music, art, sports, etc.) are not worth the tradeoff.</p>

<p>I often wonder if, by putting education and learning above all else, including family, we are “missing the boat.” </p>

<p>Again, I respect each individual’s opinion…just sharing mine.</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

13

<p>You missed the point, oldnotwise. The poster was saying that the same reasons many kids want to go to the Ivy caliber schools apply to the choice to go to boarding schools- top faculty, like-minded peers, facilities etc.</p>

<p>Family and community life these days leaves a lot to be desired. I’m glad you were such a model of perfection for your kids, but mine did just fine away from home. It is not right for everyone, but I know quite a lot about boarding schools, and these days it is more often than not the KIDS asking to go rather than the parents shipping the kids off. The kids do a lot of research and are aware of the tremendous growth opportunities that boarding school can provide. The dorm life, interaction with faculty and staff 24/7…it is an amazing experience. </p>

<p>oldnotwise- any insults have certainly been deserved after your many, many threads designed to bait and irritate the general population of this forum.</p>

14

<p>Momofwildchild: As I said in my last post, I was simply expressing my opinion and thought that I made it clear that I was not claiming that my way way was the right and only way. If everyone chose to take the same path, think of what a boring world this would be!</p>

<p>Also, if I sounded like I was claiming to be the “perfect parent,” my apologies to all. Lord knows that I am far from perfect, and I certainly in no way wanted anyone to believe that my way of doing things is the only way and the right way.</p>

<p>I fully respect your decision to send your children to a boarding school, and I’m pleased to hear that it was a great decision for you and your family.</p>

<p>To me, this is a very interesting topic, with pros and cons to both sides of the issue. Hope to hear what more of you out there on CC have to say.</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

15

<p>momofwildchild: Now that I look at jnpn’s post, you are absolutely correct. I misread what he said. I thought he said that their choosing a boarding school was related to wanting to get into an Ivy undergrad. My mistake… thanks for pointing it out.</p>

16

<p>There certainly are boarding school types of families. Ambition is probably the thread that runs through them all. There are old money families that have the BS tradition. There is new money that sees these schools as a way to join blue book society. All the mainstream families are highly educated. On parents’ weekend you notice a shocking number of parents know each other. You understand that theses kids will be business contacts forever.</p>

17

<p>collegekid: Great info. I learned a lot from that brief post. </p>

<p>Just wondering, though: momofwildchild indicated that kids are asking their parents to send them to a boarding school. In your experience, is this true?
If so, why. Also, how would you describe the relationship between boarding school kids and their parents…is it warm and emotional or is it more of a “businesslike” relationship? I ask if it’s “businesslike” because based on your post it sounds like a lot of what happens at boarding school is related to “making the right connections” and making it to the upper economic levels of society.</p>

<p>In my community, just the opposite of what momofwildchild said is true. I have never once heard of a child or adolescent who actually asked their parents to send them to a boarding school. Maybe by community is a poor representation of what’s happening in the real world.</p>

<p>Look forward to your input.</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

18

<p>Ok, I actually go to boarding school, so let me break down the types of kids that go there. Be forewarned though, it is a military-esque school, in that everyone is in JROTC, although it is definitely not military in the real sense of the word.</p>

<p>First off, you have your bad kids whose parents sent them away because they needed to shape up. Generally, there aren’t that many, as they tend to get kicked out rather fast.
Then you have those that have severe trouble with their parents. Quite a few of my friends fall into this catagory, as although they are really smart, they simply don’t get along with their parents. This is probably the single biggest faction at boarding school.
You also have kids that got sent here due to bad grades, and needed to shape up. This is where I fall, and a number of others, but not as many as the “I hate my parents” kids.
Finally, there are the internationals (read: Koreans). Honestly, they eat up most of the top 10%, but are one the greater experiences I have had at my school. Hell, one of my friends is taking another one of my buds back to Seoul for the summer. Great way to have an international experience at school.
Of course, there are the kids who go to the school for a sport or whatnot, but most boarding schools aren’t like that. All the kids that are at my school for either flight or debate (Our two only good programs) also fall into one of the above genres.</p>

<p>Hope I helped!</p>

19

<p>I agree with what bigblue says. The opportunities at boarding school are amazing both academically and socially. In response to some of your other points:

  1. I still have daily interaction with my parents. Now it’s more over the phone or through email but I still talk with them everyday and I still see them during breaks. My dad travels a lot for his job, so boarding school did not change my relationship with him too much. My parents know what is happening in my life. They know if I’m stressed because of work, happy about a test grade, or if there is drama in the dorm. Just because I am not at home doesn’t mean I don’t have a good relationship with my family. I have come to appreciate them more after being away from them and having to look after myself. The adults on campus (teachers, house counsellors, coaches, etc.) and fellow students more than make up for being away from family. Interactions with adults in the community are encouraged. House counsellors really get to know the kids in the dorm and are there to provide parent-like advice. Many faculty are parents, so they have experience in looking after kids. </p>

<p>2) Contrary to the stereotype, boarding schools have lots of diversity. Over 30% of my school is minority and 40% are on financial aid. There are jocks, nerds, and everything between. Boarding schools are unique because the kid who lives in a one bedroom apartment with 10 other people can be friends with the kid who has houses all over the world. The diversity that exists in boarding schools isn’t just about exposure to different races and socioeconomic status, it’s about being friends with them and getting to know their unique story and background. However, most of these kids share something in common - they are driven. They might put sports or music or art or academics first, but they work extremely hard to achieve their goals.</p>

<p>3) As LookingForward pointed out, there are many different kinds of boarding schools and they should not always be grouped together.</p>

20

<p>Great posts! Thanks.</p>