<p>Oh, ok then. It’s NOT bragging when it’s done on an anonymous online discussion forum such as CC vs “real life” bragging. Got it! Thanks for the clarification!</p>
<p>frazzled, you’re correct. However, even on an anonymous forum, I still see bragging that’s unrelated to offering assistance or asking for assistance. Not to quote anyone, but just to give a type of quote I’m talking about “as I was on the way to store with my son - the one who’s at Harvard”, or “I asked my DD, who got 2390 on her SAT’s, about the car” etc etc. You see it all the time. Sure, we can click out. But we can also wonder why a child’s SAT scores or gpa has to be so central to who they are. </p>
<p>Because even on an anonymous forum, we’re not anonymous to ourselves. And so many seem to need that validation. I remember one serial bragger on this site actually started a thread to rant about how her son’s school did not properly appreciate how special he was. She complained to the high school principal that they slighted him on honors awards night by not mentioning as extensively as they should, how well he did in his HS career, and they should have made a bigger deal about the college he got into. She was outraged that the principal replied “did you want us to hold a parade?”. She repeated this as evidence of the school’s depravity - but all I could do was laugh, and wish I could buy the principal a drink for having had to deal with her for 4 years. Poor guy had probably been dying to say that for 4 years, and finally got his chance.</p>
<p>That story about the mom and the principal is so funny. It illustrates exactly what is so interesting about these people. How can that mom read her own post and not have any awareness of her own depravity?!!! Don’t these people ever listen to themselves and say “Gosh, I’m a total a**!”</p>
<p>The only people I know who brag aren’t even entitled to brag.</p>
<p>They brag about nonsense like their children’s performance in sports or them being recruited by fourth rate universities. Hell, I would be amused to hear about 2400s and prep school brats getting into Harvard.</p>
<p>I don’t mind the boasting on CC, because, you know, I don’t have to read it unless I’m in the mood. Plus, it is pretty amazing, actually, what some of the kids on here have achieved.</p>
<p>Real life is different. There is a person in my life right now who LOVES to brag about her daughter. It is pretty extreme. She mentioned to me the other day that another girl (we’re talking about middle schoolers here) was out walking a dog, and she was walking it TOO SLOWLY, whereas her own daughter is the perfect dog walker.</p>
<p>“as I was on the way to store with my son - the one who’s at Harvard”</p>
<p>I love this!</p>
<p>i love this too: “pacheight-that would be unbelievable and an automatic bragging right for sure!”</p>
<p>Ovrwlmdmom, you are my favorite cc poster!</p>
<p>'that’s the thing, PackMom, these people are very kind about our kids and always ask how they are, but we can’t possibly “match” their idea of “success” and I start to feel awkward.</p>
<p>You don’t have to make it a competition. You love and appreciate your kids. That’s what matters, not whether they match your friend’s kids’ accomplishments.</p>
<p>^^it’s both, isn’t it? a competition and consideration? it’s finding a respectful and polite balance, that’s the key.</p>
<p>the universe is competitive, that’s its nature and we can’t fight that, we just need to be considerate to each other as we go through it!</p>
<p>One mom in my group of friends has a son who is a great kid and happy in college. I asked her once when we were alone why she didn’t talk about him when we started talking about our kids and she said that she didn’t want to seem brag. It just seemed so sad that she felt that she couldn’t share her pride and happiness with her closest friends.</p>
<p>How about the reverse braggers? I get a kick out of them, too. Here’s a hypothetical example of a reverse bragg: "<em>begins with heavy sigh</em> I’m so sad for my son. He was so tired after attending the Friday dinner - you know, the one for gifted and talented kids - at school - all those dinners really clutter up the calendar, don’t they? Then Saturday morning on the way to take the SAT’s, his BMW got a flat tire, so he had to change the tire by himself on the freeway. So he was so tired Saturday morning, he only got a 2390 on his SAT’s. He’s thinking about a re-take. Oh, well. What can you do? Sometimes our kids don’t perform to their potential, do they? <em>followed by sweet smile</em> "</p>
<p>Oh, yes, Hayden, there was one last week like that at the dentist’s office:" Sigh, my daughter’s college counselor is MAKING her apply to Harvard so I guess we will…" The other person she was talking to didn’t know what to make of that, and just ended up saying, softly, “Wow.” It was ridiculous.</p>
<p>What I get a kick out of is if I hear something second or third hand that’s going around about my kids that’s good. (LIke that they’re doing well in their sport or that they’re a really good kid, or well mannered, or whatever) I didn’t ask for it by fishing (never would) but always nice to hear when it does happen! My husband and I get laughing sometimes and say, “Are you sure you heard that right? or Do they have the right kid?” whatever.</p>
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<p>Oh those poor people, what a burden they bear! To think someone is making <em>them</em> apply, and they have no choice in the matter! I feel so bad for them. . . .LOLOL.</p>
<p>I’m an active member of the College Class of '13 thread, which used to be the HS class of '09 thread. If Son happens to make decent grades this semester, you bet I’ll tell my friends on the '13 thread and I would expect them to do the same. We’ve all been though it together…applications, decisions, graduation, move in, etc., shedding tears and sharing laughter along the way. There are some people who really do enjoy hearing about your student’s successes…you just have to find them and reciprocate (and shut up to everyone else).</p>
<p>"ok, worst sport for bragging parents: baseball "</p>
<p>My son played baseball up until high school, when he didn’t make the team and switched to football, where he thrived.</p>
<p>Why is baseball the worst for bragging parents? Because its all about the individual’s performance, not the team’s performance. We saw that difference immediately in the way the football players bonded and rooted for each other, something we never saw in 9 years of baseball, and doesn’t exist on our high school’s baseball team. You can’t win a football game without every player working efficiently together, where in baseball, a team can be won or lost based on a bad day pitching or a great day hitting.</p>
<p>And I completely agree about the parent coaches - they are a nightmare. Fortunately we are done with youth sports so I never have to deal with those charming people again!</p>
<p>“Ovrwlmdmom, you are my favorite cc poster!”</p>
<p>Awe, thanks pacheight!</p>
<p>I agree that its perfectly fine to brag here on cc. We all “get it” and its ok. I have one friend (and she is a good friend so I suck it up) who not only talks incessantly about her kids, but embellishes stuff. One of her kids is quite accomplished, but the others are nice, smart-but-not-driven-committed-accomplished kids. They are sweet kids, dont get me wrong, but they arent superstars to anyone but her. Her accomplished kid has done a lot, and she has a right to be proud, but E-N-O-U-G-H already. He didn’t perfect cold fusion or discover life on Mars. She goes on and on and ON AND ON about how he is a college admissions dream and a dream for the leader of the extracurricular activity that he will continue in college. Not only is she convinced that all the schools he applies to will be fighting over him, but she says the same thing OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Its not only pretentious, its like nails on a blackboard. Sadly, neighbors talk about how she drones on incessantly about her kids (who used to be ill-behaved and a real handful when they were younger) so she came across as a braggart and clueless. I feel like I’ve vented here – so , thanks! I have yet to have the nerve to tell her to stop already, and believe me, there have been plently of opportunities. She will be insufferable when college acceptances come in. Did I mention she was a major helicopter mom who does everything for her kids (including writing thank you notes for them claiming they have too much on their plate) and then complains that she is too busy? </p>
<p>All that said- I’d play a CD of her bragging 100X over if it would let me get away from my inlaws who, when they are not bragging about their own and their s’s accomplishments then do nothing but complain about fabricated or self-created medical catastrophes and other exaggerated or self-created melodrama in their lives. They never just have a cold, they have an upper respiratory infection, pneumonia or bronchitis (all self-diagnosed). Really hard to stomach. One is “just too ill” to possibly have to work a day in her life, and the other is too special to have to show up for work on a regular basis. Did * mention they ask for $$ handouts*?? Blech.</p>
<p>Thanks for the vent- no need for me to go tot he “say it here” thread!</p>
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<p>Yes, if your child just got his/her PSAT scores and they’re in the 220s or 230s and you’re bursting at the seams to tell someone, this is the place!</p>
<p>Okay, Jym, I’ll quit talking about my kids now…</p>