<p>the community I live in is (for better or worse) highly competitive. So, after years of being the parent of the kid who doesn’t get picked, I don’t mind bragging a little bit now! </p>
<p>yet I have to be aware enough of other peoples lives and situations to know when my boasting could be hurtful, and then hopefully I have the manners to stop.</p>
<p>Sounds like the ballet mom is totally living through her child. So sad. We’ve all met people like this. It almost becomes an addiction. Something to divert from looking at and living in one’s own life.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I do think that most parents have memories of a child being a victim of favoritism. I always wonder why so many sports and other activities have this built in component of subjectively lavishing praise. </p>
<p>I have sat through so many coach’s speeches where the guy is pontificating about this or that kid while all the parents in the room squirm. I am all for competition, but let the sport or activity celebrate the winner through natural results (instead of the subjective adult who seems to be enjoying his thirty minutes at the podium a little too much). I wonder if when given a little bit of power, some adults work out their own frustrations over pedestrian accomplishments in life by playing God in the EC’s of kids. </p>
<p>The subjective element in how the accomplishments of kids are celebrated is what really inspires parents to be resentful braggers. I think most folks can handle it if another kid makes all the baskets, touchdowns, or A’s, but it is the coach’s or school’s description of the child as the Second Coming that puts them over the edge. </p>
<p>Some kids actually benefit from being overlooked. How many of us have achieved things because we had something to prove? For most people, though, I do not think that prolonged exposure to favoritism is helpful.</p>
<p>favoritism implies not earned and that is bad. but what about prolonged exposure to success, is that bad? should we ask tiger?</p>
<p>To add insult to injury; when there’s a parent/coach involved in your kids EC’s who brags that their kid is the best goalie, quarterback, hitter etc on the team and thus deserves to play. You know, the team where this parent is the coach and his/her kid plays every second of every game regardless of ability, errors or mistakes. The parent/coach who only puts the box scores in the paper when HIS/HER kid scores or has multiple hits/RBI’s. Everyone knows that type of coach. I haven’t met a parent yet who coaches their own kids’ team and can be objective regarding their kids’ abilities. Very frustrating for us parents whos kids work hard and only hear how wonderful the coach’s kid is. </p>
<p>We as parents have decided to never allow my daughter/son to be coached by a parent who has a kid on the same team. Yes, it is true, the parent thinks they are God! Never again!</p>
<p>True Confessions:</p>
<p>When one of my DDs was in 2nd grade, her teacher told me that my DD, “would never be a leader.” That stung a little bit, but I thought I knew what she meant, my DD likes to be the least on the strong team, not the star of the weak team. My DD is a natural and sincere team player. The teacher could have stated the truth about my DD in a more hearable way, something encouraging rather than critical, but I never mentioned it to DD and am not sure what the point was of the teacher.</p>
<p>Years later DD was that team player, constant coached favorite, MVP kid, so it worked out well. When DD got a university leadership award and I was talking with a friend who works at the same school as that 2nd grade teacher, my friend said, “oh, shall I tell Mr X about your Dd’s LEADERSHIP award?” Because, though I was not bitter, I was taken aback and had asked my friend what she thought it meant at the time and all those years later (10?) my friend recalled it!</p>
<p>Sometimes there is some satisfaction in proving some one wrong when you feel that some one wronged your child (not that I was thinking about this or had anything to prove, it was just funny that my friend remembered!)</p>
<p>When DD was writing the essay for the leadership award the GC told her she was a leader in the way she led her life every day and that was the best kind to be, a much more positive spin on the same info. My DD would not choose to be the student body president, she was team captain many times, but did not seek it as her goal. </p>
<p>That 2nd grade teacher was accurate, DD did not aspire to be in charge (like her bossy sister :D) but it was the tone of voice and criticism that surprised at that moment.</p>
<p>I have a sibling who has boasted ceaselessly about their youngest child, who is indeed very accomplished. But it is a miracle that everyone else in the family doesn’t hate the kid. There have been times when I said to my parents that I felt like would scream if I ever heard X’s name again. </p>
<p>Once I said, in the course of conversation, that I had spent hours at my S’s (interminable) track meet the previous day. (Without mentioning how he did, by the way.) My sib replied, “Oh X was at a track meet last week and winning EVERYTHING, I might add.” True story. This is how it went for every single thing. Now that the kid is in college we’re hearing about how X got the highest grade on some test --how do they know, I wonder?–and about how some professor thought some other paper was just wonderful, yadda, yadda, yadda. It is simple awful. To the kid’s credit, I have seen the kid try to shut up my sib when an obvious boast was about to burst forth.</p>
<p>How this makes X’s siblings feel, I can only imagine.</p>
<p>thank god they are older…</p>
<p>Consolation, is your sibling named Penelope?</p>
<p>Go to hulu.com, and search Penelope therapy. Watch the video.</p>
<p>Whoever created this character really gets the type of people we are talking about on this thread.</p>
<p>I have always been sensitive to bragging parents. We have some friends that constantly brag about their son. When young he was always the smartest, the best athlete, etc.He’s now in his 3rd year of community college, trying to get into a UC, but they still brag about how great his grades and athletics are. If he was as good as they think he’d be @ the UC and playing a D1 sport.
Another gal that I knew through the school my kids attended would always praise her 4 kids so much I’d take a detour in the grocery store to avoid her. Fast forward 4 years and she’s absolutely ripping into her son (heavy partying, drugs, etc)when I see her. Comparing her behavior from previous years I felt so sad for her I almost would rather have heard the bragging!</p>
<p>My son is a baseball player, having played since he was little. The bragging from the sports parents can be off the charts. Enough to make you gnash your teeth or bite your tongue. What I’ve seen through the years is that sometimes the parents that brag the loudest are the ones whose kids are no longer playing. Things can have a funny way of working out. </p>
<p>Because of these parents I have tried not to be like them. With friends we share the joys of our kids successes and are happy for their accomplishments. I guess that’s the difference-with friends you share the joy, with non-friends it can just be annoying bragging.</p>
<p>People really are sensitive to bragging aren’t they! Not just me!! My husband was having lunch with a colleague the other day, and the subject of another guy in the office came up. The guy he was lunching with said, “He’s fine, if you can stand listening to all the bragging he HAS to do constantly about his son’s athletic endeavors!”. I’ve always taken issue with this family but thought I was the only one. Apparently not!</p>
<p>ok, worst sport for bragging parents: baseball</p>
<p>How about this brag:</p>
<p>Have eligible DS, engineer, me, cs, ms. Working, banking $$. Desirable PNW location. DF looking for modest, nonbragging DP’s of DD, possibly DS. More brags available on request and corresponding DP brags. Principals only.</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>What is it with baseball parents??? They really are the worst. My theory is that there isn’t enough violence on the field. Everyone seems to feel a little calmer when someone is getting tackled or hit with a puck. Baseball parents are so passive-agressive. Maybe it is also because there are so many boring, long games.</p>
<p>I always thought that ballet parents were the worst, until I met a really unbalanced band mom. </p>
<p>Gee, it’s good to be done with all that! :)</p>
<p>I think it can (and does) happen in any activity. I once thought it wouldn’t happen with swim team because the results are determined by the clock and aren’t subjective.</p>
<p>Boy, was I WRONG.</p>
<p>Or is it just some parents are overly sensitive when it comes to their kid’s EC’s? Some parents know in their hearts, deep down, their kid(s) will never make it, never measure up and be that professional quarterback, prima ballerina or star in a Broadway show and these parents feel inferior. So any comments made by a parent who’s kid is successful, is embellished, over analyzed and taken out of context by the unsuccessful kid’s parents as bragging. If you ask how “Esmeralda/Damien” is doing, you may get an earful, and rightly so as he/she is a success! The parents are proud and they should be. If you don’t want to hear it, don’t ask, simple as that.</p>
<p>The odds of any high school athlete or performing artist that makes it professionally or even offered D1 scholarships etc are slim and, IMHO, the parents should brag! It truly is an accomplishment.</p>
<p>
Funny, I don’t remember asking. It must be that darned tattoo on my forehead again.</p>
<p>I’m perfectly satisfied with the paths my kids are following, and with the successes they had in high school and college. No reason to feel inferior - I just don’t like being on the receiving end of an earful I never asked for. I don’t consider my kids “unsuccessful” just because they weren’t the recipients of D1 scholarships or aren’t pursuing careers as performing artists. They’d be the first to admit it, and I’d be the second: they don’t have the athletic or artistic talent to be professionals in those fields. Not everyone can, should, or wants to be. And believe it or not, those talented kids who do become professional athletes and artists are not intrinsically better or more successful than kids who don’t. Perhaps the unsung kids will “measure up” in equally significant ways (academically, altruistically?). We can’t have a world composed solely of ballerinas and baseball players. </p>
<p>Believe it or not, envy does not account for every instance of parents who think “enough already” when they’ve had that earful and then some.</p>
<p>Ovrwlmdmom, I LIKE this statement: “The odds of any high school athlete or performing artist that makes it professionally or even offered D1 scholarships etc are slim and, IMHO, the parents should brag! It truly is an accomplishment.”</p>
<p>what if both are true in a big, BIG way? A professional performing artists (TV) and offered D1 scholarship (UCLA)? </p>
<p>It would be hard not to brag a little bit, wouldn’t it?</p>
<p>pacheight-that would be unbelievable and an automatic bragging right for sure!</p>
<p>However, I must ask this question: So, is bragging about your academically talented kid’s SAT/ACT scores, hs rank, GPA, NMS, etc ad nauseum (on the pretense of helping others figure it all out)on CC NOT bragging??? Have you ever read multiple posts by a fellow CCer and thought “enough already”? (No envy, I assure you)</p>
<p>Hm. Let’s see. It’s called “College Confidential,” and it purports to be a resource for parents and students on the college admissions process, in which SAT/ACT scores, rank, GPA, NMS status, etc., count. Many folks on the parents forum are there specifically to learn what kind of scores or academic profiles are necessary for their children to have a chance at specific universities. They don’t know the other posters IRL and aren’t reading their posts for any reason other than assessing how their own child might fare with similar, lesser, or better statistics. And when experienced posters provide their child’s stats on the appropriate threads, it’s not “on the pretense of helping others figure it all out” - there’s no pretense about it.</p>
<p>CC exists for people to share information about the college admissions process. Whereas you may want to go to the grocery store to buy a cantaloupe, but an acquaintance may find it the perfect location to yak your ear off. On CC, if you don’t want to read about the accomplishments of another poster’s children, you can always click out of the thread. Simple as that.</p>