<p>Also good because you can always text her if you forgot something and she’s still in the store.</p>
<p>As for social media: when I was in high school, every girl had a phone in her room and spent hours and hours on the phone. It is what it is, and if the kid is in college already, a parent’s influence is not going to be very meaningful.</p>
<p>So normal. Mine all loved to sleep,still do. But they all transitioned to having to get up and at 'em for job purposes. My one son works a 12 hour day, starting at 7AM now. But when he comes to visit, all he wants to do here is sleep… so I let him.</p>
<p>If you have smartphones try the Wegmans app. Best. Thing. Ever! We keep a running list and everyone’s synced to the same account. If you’re throwing something out (use the last of it) scan the barcode which adds it to the list. It’s awesome. It notes the location and gives the exact product information (including picture) so there’s no wandering. You can edit the list from the computer or your smartphones, the account syncs. It knows what you’ve bought making the search quicker. My kids are actually really good about picking up groceries because it’s a relatively painless process. (Disclaimer, two work there so the store is familiar. I get near daily calls when someone is off work asking if I need anything).</p>
<p>Thanks for the great tip, blueiguana! (Feeling intense envy at the thought of kids who work at Wegmans and can pick up what’s needed at the end of their shifts - I always need something from Wegmans).</p>
<p>Tell her to get a job.</p>
<p>How do you get a job for 3 weeks?</p>
<p>Some places are looking for seasonal help. If she worked someplace retail before, that is a possibility. One of my kids stocked at Walmart last summer – if she had gotten home a week ago, I bet they would have taken her on for a couple of weeks to help. Some college have longer winter breaks. An example would be Carleton where the kids are off from Thanksgiving until early January. I know kids from there who worked almost full time in retail for the month of December to earn money for school. </p>
<p>I love the chauffer idea!!</p>
<p>Sure, it’s possible if you have some kind of previous connection to a small retailer but most seasonal hiring by the big stores starts in October and applying long distance is not probably not realistic. Of course, there are exceptions. But, it’s not as easy as tell her to get a job.</p>
<p>Wegmans does let kids ‘come back’ during breaks if they’ve been employed before, both winter break and summer. This was one of the draws of S3 looking there first for a PT job in hs. It’s very hard here to find seasonal employment unless you’re returning to a previous job. He happened to hit the timing right, also he was 18 the summer prior to Sr year which is big w Wegmans (there are fewer scheduling restrictions in our state). We have no idea if the name connection helped puck him for consideration (S1 has been there since the store was under construction 5+yrs ago). Neither ever mentioned it, however mgmt seemed to assume they were related. S3 had three interviews over a month to get a front end position (cashier).</p>
<p>Over the winter breaks, ds1 has worked at an office job as well as done house-sitting and pet-sitting for friends. He makes quite a bit over breaks.</p>
<p>My D is home from boarding school for 2 1/2 weeks and also seems to need some time to decompress. When you think about how hectic their schedules are when they are at school, you kind of understand their tendency to loll around and relax. We have used this week-end to have some family dinners, bake Christmas cookies and get the tree decorated. Other than that she has done little but lounge by the fire and read. We will spend a lot of time skiing at the local mountain later this week, and she might catch up with some friends there. But she really seems to want to just relax. Fine with me.</p>
<p>OP - if it makes you feel any better at all, this was the first visit from my D that this DIDN’T occur, and she’s 25! 
Also, no meltdown on the way to taking her to the airport either! (she left the day after Thanksgiving) </p>
<p>I guess what I’m saying is, it’s normal, and it gets better! :)</p>
<p>D1 used to run a lot of errands for us when she came home from college. She even took D2 to doctor’s appts. She liked to hang around the house watching TV and sleep during the day, go out with her friends at night. I was fine with it as long as we could have dinner together.</p>
<p>We moved to a new city once D2 started college. When she is home she doesn’t have as many friends to hang out with. But she plans her day with various errands. She is also more of a home body. She likes to be in her room watching movies or read a book. We live in a city, so with a metro card she could get around by herself. She’ll come to my office to have lunch with me or meet H to go to a museum.</p>
<p>College students are so busy while they are in school. When my kids are home they like to decompress. They like it for few weeks then they are anxious to go back to school.</p>
<p>Gosh,I was like that 30+ years ago when I was on break from college (except I didn’t complain I was bored). I just wanted to be home, relax, read for fun, hang out with my family-cooking, playing board games, watching movies, and go out with hometown friends maybe for one evening. My kids were the same way when they were in college- Christmas vacation was really a time to decompress.</p>
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<p>Aside from just accepting this as “the usual” for a home vacation from college, which it is, you could consider leading by example. Take yourself to a movie, do something you never quite have the time to do, or meet your friend out for dinner (and tell the family to take care of themselves). Come home and talk about what a good time you had. Leave it at that. She’ll notice. </p>
<p>Even if you don’t inspire her to copy you, it’s a message that she can initiate her own activity in her hometown. And at least you don’t have to look at her being bored.</p>
<p>I leave a list of chores for my kids before I go to work. The chores only take up a small amount of their day but it gives them something productive to do and helps me out. If H or I have larger jobs that need doing we offer to pay them. </p>
<p>I also make a point of spending time with them during breaks. We will watch a movie together, play cards, shop , etc. They like that.</p>
<p>She can put the word out that she’s available for babysitting and pet sitting. That will help keep her busy and also help her get some spending money. She will also be responsible for helping keep the kids or pets occupied and still should be able to de-stress. The sooner she puts the word out, the sooner she can get the jump on others. There are a lot of parties coming up as well as couples wanting to go out without little ones in tow, so it is an opportunity.</p>
<p>Agree that many places can use volunteers year round, including shelters, soup kitchens, SR centers, etc. Humane society can probably also use help washing pets and exercising them, as well as other chores. She could volunteer to help at a local non-profit with her web skills or word processing. Really, </p>
<p>I also like the idea of having my kids drive me or in the car when errands need to be run, so that one can jump out while the other double-parks. My H and S went to my folks and trimmed their trees and got everything into the green waste bin. It was fine with my dad and H & S working; would have been a HUGE chore for my dad alone and it made dad happy to have them helping him.</p>
<p>Your D could help declutter and perhaps sell some things on craigslist or ebay for some extra cash. It might help motivate her to do a more thorough job of letting go of things she no longer needs and free up some space and cash.</p>
<p>Some things I learned over the years as I got used to my boys coming home from college:</p>
<ol>
<li> It’s an adjustment for ME in that I seemed to have spent the first 18 years of each of my son’s lives in pro-active mode, always getting ready for the next thing on the agenda…homework, Hebrew School, soccer practice, etc…</li>
</ol>
<p>all of a sudden, the son is back in the house from college–and his planner is running on empty. Legitimately. No homework to nag over. No teachers deciding to assign a big project or paper to be done over break. No Hebrew School. No soccer practice. No real job to go to…during high school summers, my boys worked at a day camp and worked the concession stand at a swimming pool and refereed soccer games–none of those take place over winter break. </p>
<p>It’s vacation. A few weeks to do Nothing they do not want to do, other than to do their fair share around the house.</p>
<p>AND THE MORE IMPORTANT LESSON I LEARNED OVER THE YEARS</p>
<ol>
<li> Sometimes when the kids come home from college, they really want a break from people–even their families and oldest friends.</li>
</ol>
<p>For the past four months or so, the kids have had to have their “social faces” on continuously and it is a bigger strain than is often realized. Always having to be pleasant, and social, and gracious, always being “on” in public (and even their dorm rooms are sort of “public”)…can be a real, exhausting, strain.</p>
<p>I learned this when S1 and I had a long conversation when he finally came out of his room at 2 am to have dinner…He was “napping” during dinner and I was ticked. He had just needed to decompress and not have to worry about pleasing anyone else for just a short time–he didn’t want to face questions, not even “do you want more rice?”, he didn’t want to be interested in anything or anyone else, he just wanted to be…</p>
<p>a few days later, he began to come out of his shell, and began to see some old friends, etc.</p>
<p>which lead to the last thing I learned</p>
<ol>
<li> sometimes, friends and friendships change. Your kid is different, his old friends are different too–even after just a few short months. Sometimes the friendships transform and grow stronger, and sometimes some friendships just fade away. Your student may feel so different the he or she may feel they won’t fit in with the old crowd any more. And that’s ok too.</li>
</ol>
<p>OP, you should tell her to workout. That’ll get her something to plan out and invest time in. She could take up pilates…lifting…yoga…rowing…ANYTHING.</p>
<p>Yes, my kids really enjoy “down” time in their rooms and in each other’s rooms when they are in our home. They DO find socializing to be quite tiring and just like to ‘be’ and have things where they expect them, with us being sure meals and food are available as needed. It has been OK with us and they DON’T complain about being bored but enjoy the quiet time to figure out what THEY want. Some quiet time is important for everyone’s well-being anyway. </p>
<p>Relationships DO change, especially as each kiddo since HS has had different experiences. Sometimes the reunions and get togethers post-HS can be a bit awkward. They have to navigate how candid they want to be–is it OK to indicate doubts? negativity? only be positive? how much to reveal and when? it can be a balancing act–public vs private selves.</p>