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<p>You missed my point of authority.</p>
<p>It isn’t a matter of method or approach. Maybe it’s just male brain chemistry.</p>
<p>Well if they have no authority over themselves whatsoever, I guess we can’t count on them to do their homework or feed themselves either, so I guess they should just come home!</p>
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<p>I think that you’re talking about self-control; not authority.</p>
<p>I guess I make the mistaken assumption that grown men should not be expected to need “authority” from anyone but themselves.</p>
<p>Two words: Work wheel</p>
<p>They don’t need authority from themselves. What works in the family is authority. They don’t have it in the group.</p>
<p>Another vote for letting the boys figure it out. We haven’t seen our son’s house since July, I think it’s better that way. What’s the worse that can happen?</p>
<p>I am in Kathiep’s camp. I have not seen my son’s apartment. I didn’t move him in. I am hoping to not move him out. I don’t plan on going up to his school. I have no clue what that kitchen and bathroom looks like. I figure that I am better off that way.</p>
<p>My roommate in college and I agreed that whenever we used a dish, we just cleaned it immediately after we were done and put it back. Worked out well for us.</p>
<p>How about clean as you go? You cook, use the stove, you clean the stove, counter, and your dishes. What about the rest of the apartment? Will it go until move out day before the carpets are vacumed or a toilet cleaned? I vote for kitchen clean as you go. -but there should also be weekly cleaning. Make assignments by placing names in a bowel for the first go around. Each week rotate through each job until the rotation starts again. It might be too ovious, something that they all should have learned years ago!</p>
<p>Those of you that are offering cleaning strategies are just not getting the problem. The OP said they had a chore rotation, that is, they had plans for cleaning. They’re just not doing it. In my experience with twenty year old young men, there’s nothing you can do except listen, offer advice if asked (or you can’t help yourself) and just stand back and let things work themselves out.</p>
<p>I know that one night they played poker, and the loser had to clean up. That’s certainly creative!</p>
<p>toledo—be thankful that you only hear about it and don’t see it. Two of my sons shared a room second year of college,one is a slob and the other is neat. Husband and I laughed when we saw their living space. It had an imaginary line drawn down the center of it and it was obvious whose side was whose. The neat son said he had just gotten tired of cleaning up after the other so he stopped----the end result…two seperate rooms the following year. Your son and his friends will either live in filth this year and renew the lease or they will make changes.
I thought the mouse ides was very funny but if you consider it, be sure to only get one, or you could be hearing about a much bigger mess.</p>
<p>That’s why I never wanted to room with more than 1 person. It only takes one person to ruin the whole thing. Living with 4 roomates means you are 4x more likely to see this than if you got 1 roomate. There’s really not much you can do, I am afraid. Cleaning lady sounds like a nice idea but people that are willing to pay for such service probably wouldn’t live with 4 roomates to begin with.</p>
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<p>This is untrue.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s untrue. If there are 4-5 people in an apartment or house, I think it quite likely that one (or more) will be a shirker).</p>
<p>My D lived with 4 other girls in a cute older house for her soph.-senior years. There was always trouble in the kitchen with the dishes. Someone was always cooking and eating and then having to run off to class or work, then those dishes and pots and pans sat there, sometimes for days. Then one person would have to clean up the whole kitchen in order to cook her own dinner. One girl (not my D) was pretty neat and cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed much more than the others. My D did do dishes more than her share.</p>
<p>My nephews have also had trouble with the messy kitchen problem. Kids this age don’t seem to do too well with the housekeeping details.</p>
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<p>It’s mathematically untrue. Remember probability in Algebra II?</p>
<p>paper plates and cups- plastic utensils- everything is thrown away!! $$ saved on cleaning lady can be spent on paper goods. A trip to COSTCO will cover an entire semester if each kid picks up their own supply!</p>
<p>I can’t get on the paper plate bandwagon - that just seems so incredibly wasteful. I think they need to have a meeting and come up with solutions. The only time I lived in a house with this many we ate together - and the cook had to clean up after the meal (which was an eating group of people outside the house as well). It was pretty painless as as you only had to cook dinner every two weeks. We never had problems with cleaning our own dishes and we had some sort of rotation for cleaning. </p>
<p>Solutions I can think of (not all likely to be considered reasonable): people who shirk the vacuuming, taking out the trash could pay a fine which would then be paid to the person who actually does the job. Everyone could have a dishpan to hold their own dirty dishes. People could store dishes in their room. Everyone could lower their standards. You could force the slobs to move out. Get the cleaners in periodically.</p>
<p>Get a dog. Put the dishes on the floor in the morning, and when you come home they will be clean. Sounds like these slobs wouldn’t mind as long as they didn’t have to wash.</p>