<p>Our daughter who has been dating a guy for nearly 2 years and who is at the same college as he is (she chose that college for academic reasons not him) recently broke up with him. We are all having a very difficult time with all of this since our family so much loved him and he was part of our family. She has told us that her feelings have changed and she needs to branch out and meet new people. Since she has told us this we hear less from her then we did before. I know she is worried that we don’t support her but we do, even though in the back of our mind we think she may be making a mistake. Grant it we also know she is young with her being a new freshman. this is just very hard. Any words of advice??</p>
<p>The only thing you can do is to respect her feelings. How you all feel about him can’t come into play here. There is only one side in this situation, your daughter’s side. I think if she feels she is not being judged by you or have to worry about your feelings for the ex, she may be more open to discuss it.</p>
<p>See the link below; another mom faced a similar situation</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/577436-daughter-boyfriend-split-she-s-fine-i-m-sad.html?highlight=miss+boyfriend[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/577436-daughter-boyfriend-split-she-s-fine-i-m-sad.html?highlight=miss+boyfriend</a></p>
<p>I’ve been down this same road. It’s hard when you become attached to the bf/gf. It’s even worse when you become friends with his/her family.</p>
<p>Keep in mind - this is HER relationship, NOT YOURS. It has to be her decision, and you have to respect it and support her. There are many fish in the sea. For whatever reason, she has decided that now is not the time for her to be tied down to this one guy. That’s up to her, and frankly it sounds like a healthy decision to me, no matter how wonderful the bf was. If their relationship was that perfect, they will probably eventually end up back together.</p>
<p>From experience, I have learned to be friendLY, but not friends, with the bf/gf’s parents. It’s just too awkward if/when the kids break up if you’re friends with the parents.</p>
<p>But don’t think you’re weird for missing the bf. If he was a great kid and the relationship lasted 2 years, you probably became close to him. Also, it’s hard not to love someone who loves your kid! </p>
<p>But this is HER decision, not yours.</p>
<p>18 year olds change drastically. 22 year olds change drastically. Your daughter is a completely different individual today than she was two years ago, when she first started her now ex-boyfriend.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your input and advice. This is something that we are going to have to adjust in our family and I agree with just letting go of the him. As for our daughter who is very close to us. We speak to our girls numerous times during the day everyday. Which for some may seem odd…that is just how close our family is. But our daughter who broke up with her boyfriend was always so dependent on him and him with her. Now she doesn’t want us to talk to her all the time but give her the space she needs to become independent and to make her own friends outside of her old boyfriend. It is really hard…but they do grow up. But now to call everyday and hear from her whether it is a text message or email will be hard. But we will give her the space she needs. Man…no more getting attached to the boyfriends…it is so hard. I think from now on we will keep more of a distance instead of getting so attached. I just feel so bad for him. Thanks again…</p>
<p>"I know she is worried that we don’t support her but we do, even though in the back of our mind we think she may be making a mistake. "</p>
<p>Keep in mind that she knows him a whole lot better than you do. She knows things about him (that she chooses not to share with you, in spite of your close relationship) which could explain her reasoning. I’m not implying that there is something wrong with him, just that she would be in a much better position to know if this is working for her. Trust her judgment.</p>