@frazzled1, did you realize that that’s the wedding of Lin-Manuel Miranda, the actor/composer who is currently appearing on Broadway in his musical, “Hamilton”?
I had never heard of him the first time I saw that video. 
Frazzled1, I don’t disagree. I was coming at it more from the perspective of identifying things that people spend a lot of money on in weddings that may not really add that much to the overall joy of the event. The impetus for my list was to find a few things that lots of people almost unthinkingly include that could be jettisoned to free up funds for the going-away bagel. And to save some friends some money. It is not that I am offended by those things; it is just that they seem like places to cut back, if someone wanted to.
Anyway, everyone’s right on the sister point. I have two sisters myself so I had two maids of honor.
@Consolation - yes, I did know it was him. I think there was a link in New York magazine at the time of the wedding. That was after In the Heights but before Hamilton and the MacArthur grant. What a brilliant man he is - and he’s obviously great fun at a wedding!
@nottelling - my daughters refer to that as a 2-sister handicap. And one daughter also had a 2-sisters-in-law handicap.
Baby sis dropped out of college and got married at 19 when her long term SO graduated from college and was able to support her. She told me her fiance’s eldest sister and I were too old to be in her wedding party. Neither of us were 30. Neither of us cared. I was pretty relieved. There were at least 8 attendants, maybe more. I would have to look it up.
Needless to say she was in my wedding party, even though she was “young” because no one wanted to hurt her feelings.
I’m 52 and will be a bridesmaid next week.
^^LOL
Ah, blasphemy! 
His first show, In the Heights, was nominated for 13 Tonys and won 4, including best musical in 2008. It also won a Grammy and was nominated for the 2009 Pulitzer for Drama. That video is cute. It’s amazing what you can do with Broadway stars, professional choreographer and studio time
Having been through 3 Ds’ weddings so far, and 2 to go, all the venues we chose had the after dinner dancing in a separate room from where the meal was served. So, those who were interested in dancing could dance and those who wanted to sit and chat could do it without shouting. Weddings are fun. Having lived in the same place (with the exception of a couple of years) since our kids were born, we have a large and close circle of friends, most of whom we’ve known since our kids were in nursery school. So that, combined with the fact that we have 5 girls, means we have gone to SO many weddings! I can honestly say we have enjoyed them all, and they have run the gamut from small, intimate gatherings, to a barbecue, to an all day affair with 400+ guests. The nice thing is that there’s no set blueprint for a wedding and thus everyone can do things the way they choose.
Throwing a bouquet doesn’t seem as common as it was even five years ago. Two of my Ds did, although it wasn’t the real bouquet, it was smaller and made especially for the ‘throw’, but my D who is the most recently married did not do it. None of the grooms threw a garter. I don’t think any of the girls wore a garter.
@zoosermom, every shower I’ve been to, with the exception of one, was held in someone’s home. Your brunch idea sounds nice. I would not do, or expect, an open bar at a brunch. Wine or sangria is sufficient, in my opinion. I would keep to the guestlist and number you’ve planned on. If the future MIL would like to hold another shower for all her friends and coworkers, she is free to do so. Congratulations, by the way!
Anyway, everyone’s right on the sister point. I have two sisters myself so I had two maids of honor. >>
I have three sisters but only one was in my wedding; the others were ages 5 and 3. I wasn’t/will not be in any of theirs. I was living overseas when the oldest got married and couldn’t commit to being there and it’s just weird to be to be in a wedding at age 43 and 53, which is how old I was/will be when they marry.
@frazzled1 – great video, thanks for sharing. I have to say, I love weddings where everyone dances and sings. So joyous. And Lin-Manuel Miranda’s family (and in-laws) rock.
@Pizzagirl, I’m amused you don’t like table pictures. It’s the one thing I told my photographer I wanted - a picture of everyone who attended the wedding. Taking pictures at the tables is the easiest way to do that though we also got a group picture as we walked from one part of the Caltech campus to another to get from wedding to reception. We stopped on the way and posed for a picture. I’m actually still cross that my nephew’s wedding photograper did not take a single decent picture of me, my husband or our two kids at the wedding. We are in some of the backgrounds, but that’s it.
Love notelling’s list of things she doesn’t like - and agree with all of them. Even the unnamed ones!
I’ve been to a handful of baby showers and no one else’s bridal shower. My shower was four friends gave me a waffle iron at the local Pie and Burger. I thought it was very sweet of them. Since I only had my sil as matron of honor - they weren’t in the bridal party. One ushered and one played the music.
I had a Matron of Honor - my sister, and my best friend was my Maid of Honor. But I had 4 flower girls - my nieces , two of mine and two of H’s - who were all about the same age 5-6. I let my attendants choose their own dresses, just gave them the color I wanted. Had many more groomsmen - I think 5 - as they had to usher the guests to their seats.
Didn’t have a videographer as I think they are too instructive. Didn’t do the introductions as I don’t like that either. I also has the band stop playing during dinner so people could converse. I think there was soft background music but tbh, I really don’t remember. I’m sure we had table pics but I don’t have them. My mom kept all the proofs, I just have the pictures I wanted for my albums.
I haven’t been to many baby showers because traditionally Jewish women don’t have them, but that has changed so I’ve been to several the last few years. They are basically the same as the bridal showers in my circle just at someone’s home.
While Jewish women don’t have baby showers before the birth, it is now very common for this type of celebration to happen afterward.
@zoosermom if you are still reading here. I think your offer to host a bridal shower is a gracious one. You should feel comfortable with planning the event you would like to host…with the guests you would like to invite (which should in use MOG, and grandmother of the groom, and grooms siblings…but not friends, at the venue of your choice. This is your shower, and as noted upstream, the grooms family can host an event as well (plenty of time in the next six months for another shower).
“While Jewish women don’t have baby showers before the birth, it is now very common for this type of celebration to happen afterward.”
A lot are having them before the birth now. I’ve never been to one after the birth. If they don’t have one before people just bring gifts to bris or brit bat. That has been my experience.
I get the sense that superstition (about not bringing anything in the house before baby is born) has pretty much waned among secular / Reform Jews, at least.
“You should feel comfortable with planning the event you would like to host…with the guests you would like to invite (which should in use MOG, and grandmother of the groom, and grooms siblings…but not friends, at the venue of your choice.”
I agree. I totally get inviting MOG and groom’s siblings … but I don’t think you need to “reserve slots” at this bridal shower for the MOG to give to her friends who you don’t know from Adam. It’s different from the wedding where you might expect the MOG to invite people you don’t know.
For both the baby and bridal showers I held for my sister, I invited MOG, aunt of groom (who lived with them, so she was very close) and groom’s sisters / sisters-in-law. The rest of MOG’s friends? They’re on their own. I didn’t feel any obligation whatsoever to include them. If they were so interested in welcoming my sister to that side of the family, they could throw their own shindig.
Likewise, my husband’s aunt threw an engagement party for the two of us. She invited my parents and my sister, which was appropriate, but she didn’t “reserve slots” for my parents’ friends – why should she? She doesn’t know them from Adam and they were free to do their own event or not.
My sisters and I threw a shower for for my nephew and his bride. Food was simple and the decorations consisted of center pieces that the bride got to take home with her. I used stemmed wine gasses of varying heights. Threw some flower petals on the table and turned the wine glass upside down over the petals. Put candles on the now upside down base of the wine glass. Put a bottle of wine with these. I think I used three different heights of glass. I did this on 3-4 different tables. It was quite beautiful and elegant, rather inexpensive and the bride walked away with wine and wine glasses.
We also send invitations with an option to contribute toward a group gift. It is optional but after we list where she is registered it is followed with “in lieu of bringing a gift if you would like to contribute to a group gift please send $20 to ---- and we will do the shopping”. It is optional. This actually accomplishes a few things. I almost always spend more than $20 on a gift so by contributing I am actually saving money. 20 people times $20 is $400 and now the bride will get a larger gift that is not typically given and difficult for a new couple to afford. I had two showers thrown for me this way. At one I received our Weber gas grill and at the other I received a patio set. These were on display at the shower for all to see and a card was signed by all who contributed. and I did not have to open any gifts in front of people. The host usually asks the bride what big gift they want. I have cousins who got TV, and microwaves, my sister got a curio cabinet. We do the same for baby showers and they get the large necessary items like stroller/ car seat combos.
Just thought I would throw out that tradition which has been done for multiple generations in my family
We got married a year out of school and our recent college grad friends pooled $$ for a couple group gifts for our wedding. I thought it was a great idea.
@bhs1978, some interesting ideas!
The baby shower I hosted–at my home–was for a Jewish couple. The H was born into a Jewish family, the W was a convert. I never realized that showers before the birth weren’t a done thing in the Jewish tradition. Yikes! I think his family was more or less Reform, though, and they all came and seemed happy about it. I do know that his Great-aunt Rosie said, “It was so nice. And she (meaning me) isn’t even Jewish!” LOL.