<p>My brother died suddenly this afternoon. He lives far from us, and his only child, 21, lives near us. One brother lived with him; he found him. This is sudden & difficult. In the midst of all of this … what do we do now? </p>
<p>No will. No spouse. 21 year old child. Brother was 44.</p>
<p>Life insurance … we can contact employer.</p>
<p>Bank … how to access accounts?</p>
<p>Does his child get any social security survivor benefits? If so, what needs to be done?</p>
<p>If he owes money for anything, who is responsible for payment? Brother will remain in their apartment for now, so that’s all set - although lease is in deceased brother’s name, so maybe it’s not all set. What about cell phone, credit cards, doctor bills, etc?</p>
<p>Is there anything else I should be thinking about? I am still in shock, but I know that we will have to take care of things for him. He didn’t plan for this, so how do we go about taking care of whatever must be taken care of? </p>
<p>Thanks for any insight/help you can provide.</p>
<p>I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I, too, hope that some of the kind and knowledgable folks here on CC will give you some good advice. All I can give you is my sympathy, and wish you the very best in getting through this horrendously difficult time.</p>
<p>Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your brother. I’m sorry that I don’t have any helpful advice for you. Please know that I am lifting you all up in this most difficult time.</p>
<p>So sorry for your loss, kelsmom. No one can ever be prepared for this. When my father died unexpectedly, the local funeral director was a surprisingly helpful resource for information. He actually accompanied my mother to many government offices (i.e., social security, veteran’s benefits) to help her with the filings. Depending on where you reside, if your brother died intestate (without a will), my guess is that someone will have to petition the probate court to be the administrator of his estate. Did your brother use a lawyer for any of his affairs?</p>
<p>Insurance policies are settled outside of the estate. You simply need a death certificate and forms filled out by the beneficiaries. That’s all pretty simple if you can find the policies.</p>
<p>The easiest way to settle an estate is to give a lawyer the power to represent the estate (it’s called different things in different states). The lawyer sets up the estate, transfers all the assets to an estate escrow account, pays any estate bills, distributes the money, and closes the estate. Presumably the estate would all go to the surviving daughter. The other way is for one or more of you to be named executor, then your signature(s) will be required for everything.</p>
<p>For now, I’m afraid the brother on scene is going to have to start going through files to see if he can piece together a picture of assets, debts, etc.</p>
<p>Daughter can find out about social security by calling a toll-free number or – better yet – making an appointment with her local SS office. Take his social security number and they can walk through the benefits she can expect.</p>
<p>You need to find an undertaker. The easiest way to handle it, if you are all in agreement, is a simple cremation. Given where everyone is located and how unprepared everyone must be to deal on the spur of the moment, I would not personally try to do the funeral/burial routine. You can always do a memorial service later. But, of course, those are all personal decisions. My focus would be on the 21 year old niece more than the deceased. You are probably going to be the best person to lend a shoulder for her.</p>
<p>Hugs to you, your niece, your family… I’m sure you’ll get lots of excellent advice here, but I thought I’d add another voice to the chorus of people hoping that you’ll all take care of yourselves and your emotional health first and foremost. I’m so sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>I’m very sorry, kelsom. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, including, of course, your brother’s child. Please try to take care of yourself.</p>
<p>kelsmom,
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. This just knocks the wind right out of you.</p>
<p>Some things don’t have to be dealt with immediately. You all will need some time to grieve and get a handle on what steps makes sense. If the D is in college, she may want to contact the school about getting her FA modified. She will likely need documentation.</p>
<p>Socail Security only pays survivor benefits to children up to age 18, unless the child is disabled. College students used to be able to collect benefits if they were enrolled half-time, but that ended in the early 1980s (I had a couple of friends for whom that $$ was a make-or-break deal).</p>
<p>Most debts would be paid by whatever is in the estate (life insurance, savings, etc.) A car with a loan can be repossessed or bought by someone else who can finance whatever is owed. Laws will vary by state, though.</p>
<p>Putting the pieces together can be tough, especially when if comes on the heals of such an unexpected loss. But it has to be done, which you have already recognized. I’d suggest looking for his tax file. See if he used an accountant. Most investment and bank accounts would probably be listed and reported on his tax return. Accountants I have worked for in the past also handled estate work and were very familiar with the required forms and formalities.</p>
<p>There may be immediate bills that need to be paid, but no access to your brother’s funds. If someone else covers expenses, be sure records and documents are kept to ensure reimbursement from the estate. Confirm with his bank if there is any one else on any of his accounts (such as his child).</p>
<p>I’m very sorry for your loss. It must be quite a shock, and it is so hard dealing with things from such a distance.
Regarding Social Security survivors benefits, here is the relevant section:</p>
<p>You have my deepest condolences. How difficult and hearbreaking to have such an unexpected loss!</p>
<p>A family practice lawyer should be able to help you, but first take care of yourself. Get yourself the emotional support that you need. You are hurting and grieving. Reach out to close friends for support, and give yourself some space to grieve and to cope with the loss. Other than planning for the funeral and contacting his employer, there probably are not many things that you need to do immediately.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for your loss Kelsmom. But it is a reminder for all of us to do what is necessary to make it easier on those left behind. I am going right now to gather all the financial information into one place and let some folks know where that list is. It’s so hard to deal with that along with grief.</p>
<p>As far as looking for the life insurance policies, be assured that bills for them will come along eventually, so if you can’t find them, or find them all, now, don’t worry. They’ll find you.</p>
<p>I too am so sorry for your sudden loss, kelsmom.</p>
<p>This is very good advice. Professionals in this field know professionals in related fields and are usually happy to refer you to the services you need. They are also very well informed about the paperwork that has to be done in the early stages of the process. For example, they know how many official death certificates your family is likely to need. </p>
<p>If the 21-year-old is a student, I think that priority #1 is making sure that someone in the family pays the student’s bills somehow – of course, with the expectation of being reimbursed when the estate is settled. If the student is on financial aid, the college should be contacted immediately (and it’s probably the student who should do it). Even if the student is not on financial aid, it’s probably a good idea to contact the college. If nothing else, they can tell the student whether or not her father paid her tuition bill yet. </p>
<p>I think it’s also important for the family to recognize that the 21-year-old is your brother’s next of kin. A lot of the decisions and responsibility are going to fall upon some very young shoulders. Perhaps one of the best things that older family members can do for your brother now is for one older relative – someone the young person likes and is comfortable with – to offer to help the young person with all of the very unfamiliar responsibilities that will be coming up in the next weeks and months. </p>
<p>I have been the executor of three estates, but I don’t have a clue about how to handle the situation where there is no will. I’m pretty sure, though, that it will involve a lawyer in the state where your brother lived. In the meantime, it is helpful that your two brothers shared a home. Bills will arrive there, and your surviving brother probably knows how the various household expenses were paid. That’s an important start. If it becomes necessary for your surviving brother to move, he should simply notify the post office that everyone in his household is moving to the new address. This is not exactly legal, but the official process for getting a deceased person’s mail forwarded is exceedingly complex – so much so that often even the lawyers suggest that you cheat and pretend that the person has moved.</p>
<p>Finally, please accept my sympathies for your loss. I realize this post has been full of logistics rather than feelings, but in our family, I’m the one responsible for logistics. It’s what I do. When there have been deaths in our family, I have had to let the grief wait while dealing with the lawyers and paperwork. And I have found that it helps me, emotionally, to deal with all the logistics. It’s a way of taking care of a family member, even though that family member is gone. Perhaps you will have the same experience.</p>