Brother died suddenly. What next?

Parent Cafe
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<p>When my uncle died, suddenly at 82, I was the next of kin. No will – although I was fairly close to him and had some idea of his estate plans – there was no will. He just hadn’t goten that far. After informing the rest of the family – my brothers and cousins – my first call was to a local attorney who had handled some estate work for my (deceased) parents. </p>

<p>And I agree that his daughter needs to be recognized as the next of kin by the family, and assisted/supported by her aunts and uncles.</p>

<p>I am so sorry for your loss.</p>

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Not necessarily. Sometimes there are paid up policies. Hopefully he has a file with this information. Or it’s a policy through his employer.</p>

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<p>Very sorry to hear your sad news, kelsmom. No advice to add to the wise words here, but wishing you and your family peace.</p>

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<p>I send my sympathy,thoughts and prayers.</p>

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<p>I am so sorry. I wish I could offer advice on all the questions. The most important thing is to be available for the 21 year old, and it sounds like you have that covered.</p>

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<p>So sorry to hear of your loss–can offer no advice but much sympathy.</p>

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<p>kelsmom,</p>

<p>Sorry for the loss. Prayers for all of you.</p>

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<p>kelsmom, I’m very sorry for your loss. May your family, faith, and friends provide the strength and comfort you need during this sorrowful time.</p>

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<p>kelsmom, I too am sorry that you’ve lost your brother. I have no specific advice, but a lot of the things posted here make sense.</p>

<p>Since his child lives near you, I assume you may be the one offering some emotional support to her. Is there an ex-wife involved? Grief brings out a lot of weird emotions in some people, as everybody makes a last grab to hang onto something tangible. I hope the family will be able to defer to the child as much as possible.</p>

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<p>I am sorry for your loss. 21 child year old is legally an adult but emotionally and functionally often not. So there is no mother? I think social security will only provide a small death benefit, but my info is very dated. As soon as the bank learns of the death I believe they will freeze the account, so if bank accounts are in his name only it may be difficult to access the money for some time.</p>

<p>I think I am going to finish reviewing that will sitting on my desk and send it back to my attorney.</p>

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<p>Kelsmom, I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I know how difficult it is for you and your family, particularly where you are “long distance” and trying to get a grasp emotionally and tangibly on everything that has occurred and will need to be done.</p>

<p>Where there is no will, how an estate is dealt with is controlled by the intestate statutes of the state where your brother lived. Someone will need to be appointed administrator of the estate and if the remaining family members (siblings, adult children, etc) can agree on who that will be, it will make things much simpler. In the absence of a will, who is a beneficiary of your brother’s estate will be controlled by state law. Usually, where there are children but no spouse, the estate passes to the children.</p>

<p>In order to have someone appointed as administrator, it is necessary to have a legal estate opened, usually through the local county court office that deals with probate matters or wills and estates. The name of that office varies. Once the estate is opened, letters of administration are issued which give the named administrator the legal authority to take possession of all estate assets, pay bills, file the necessary estate administration tax returns, accounting forms and other legal documents, pay applicable inheritance taxes and distribute the net assets to the beneficiaries. </p>

<p>In doing these things, it probably makes sense to have the assistance of an outside professional. A family/estate lawyer or an accountant who does estate work will both be of help. Note that some states permit lawyers to charge fees based on a percentage of the value of the estate. In a straight forward situation where there is no complicated will nor any legal disputes to be resolved, a percentage fee structure is frankly a rip off. The professional time involved in administering a simple estate is not that great and I would look for a lawyer who will charge a flat or hourly fee so that the cost to the estate is consistent with the time actually expended. I have served as administrator or the lawyer for several estates and in the absence of special trusts or legal issues, generally, the most complicated issue is what to do with real estate and even then that is not a difficult issue (unless it is commercial real estate) as much as it is one of thinking through the options and deciding with the beneficiaries what makes most sense and then taking the time to do it.</p>

<p>For immediate purposes, the most important things are for you to make the desired arrangements for your brother’s funeral and to gather the family to support each other. As difficult as it may be, some time should also be taken to go through your brother’s papers to get a general understanding of what his estate consists of. It may also be appropriate to have some discussion with other family members about who will serve as administrator since if an agreement can quickly be reached on this, then it is simpler to have that person take the lead in making arrangements for the funeral and whatever post funeral gatherings are customary in your religion and family.</p>

<p>Next week, when things have settled down a bit, then you can start to deal with the formalities and other issues including getting a handle on your niece’s college finances. For now, focus on the immediate necessities and providing support and comfort for you and your family. Again, my condolences to you and your family.</p>

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<p>So sorry for your loss. I lost my father unexpectedly when I was in grad school, and it was a shock, which unfortunately lasted too long, so support for the daughter is essential. My own uncle was not helpful, but this is not a story for now. </p>

<p>When another uncle died without a will, my brother took the lead in settling his affairs. One necessary thing is to get someone appointed as administrator for the estate, which must be done through surrogates or other court with similar function in the particular state. If there is only a rented apartment and paper assets, these can be dealt with fairly easily once the administrator is appointed. A lawyer should be willing to have a flat fee for a small estate depending on the type/amount of assets involved. You could do it yourself, but you could run into snags which are less likely with a lawyer. Any car can also be transfered once that is done. Unless there is a large estate, the lawyer could file the final tax return, and you would not need an accountant.</p>

<p>Insurance companies are notorious for dragging things out (banks less so - but can also be difficult), but with the proper paperwork from the court, you can generally press on. Most states require a publication of a notice in a paper for a number of specified times, so that debts may be settled that you are unaware of. </p>

<p>It is important to go over the mail, bank statements etc. for bills and to find out what has been paid/not paid. You generally are not permitted to go into safe deposit boxes. Any car will need transfer of title. Other types of insurance will also need to be looked into like car insurance. </p>

<p>The ssi info quoted above would mean no payments to niece, and this is my understanding of the current law.</p>

<p>Funeral expenses paid for by others are reimbursable by the estate, and it will take time to get the paperwork done. When my mother died, it was a number of months before I was reimbursed, and her burial plot was already paid for. Unfortunately funerals are expensive.</p>

<p>Its my recollection that you work in FA so I hope that you can help your niece in that regard after the immediate funeral needs etc. are met. </p>

<p>It is so hard to lose someone suddenly, and my heart really goes out to you.</p>

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<p>Kelsmom, I 'm so sorry for your loss. At this point, take care of your niece and family. The other things related to the estate will get sorted out in due time.</p>

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<p>kelsmom, I’m very sorry for your loss. Peace and strength to you and your family.</p>

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<p>Kelsmom, I am so very sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts in this terrible time.</p>

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<p>Kelsmom, I am so sorry for your loss. A heart breaking situation, please take care of yourself, your neice and your family.</p>

<p>A couple of items: order enough copies of the death certificate. You can get additional copies if needed, but it can be easier to order multiples at the beginning (the funeral director can help with this).
If your brother had an accountant, contact the office for a copy of the last tax return. This has useful information–interest statements from bank accounts, profits (losses) from brokerage accounts, etc. This can help the administer of the estate “find” all the assets. DH is an accountant/fin’l advisor, many times there are accounts that no one is aware of–usually due to time passing, not living in the same house, etc. I’m not talking about hidden assets, just things like investments made long ago, or mving accounts to a different bank, etc.
If your brother lived alone, make sure someone is picking up the mail (or have it forwarded) and cancel the newspaper. No need to advertise that the house is empty.</p>

<p>My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.</p>

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<p>What a shock. Please accept my condolences along with the others.</p>

<p>In our county, the County Dept of Wills and Register of Wills is very helpful. Each state has different laws and they will know what to do when there is no will.</p>

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<p>Kelsmom, I’m so sorry for your family in the sudden loss of your brother.<br>
You will be in my prayers today.
When my mother died unexpectedly (father died when I was a child), I felt as if the cord that tethered me to the earth had been suddenly broken and I was just floating around in space. I was a married adult with kids and a husband but it still hit me like that.
Please pay special attention to your niece. Once over the shock, she will surely feel very alone in the world.</p>

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<p>Kelsmom, my deepest sympathies to you, your niece, and the rest of your family.</p>

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<p>Kelsmom,
First may I offer my heartfelt and deepest sympathies. I totally understand. My brother was killed suddenly three years ago in an auto accident, and it’s almost incomprehensible those first several days of realizing “this is real.” I am not an attorney, so what I offer comes only from our experience. A couple of things … be careful about closing your brother’s checking account too soon. Sometimes there are checks that need to be deposited that might be coming to your brother, and you need somewhere to deposit them. Having that account open allows you to write on the back of the check “for deposit only” and you don’t have to have an endorsement. (Screwed up there w/ relations to my father-in-law’s death, learned by that mistake). One of the first places we contacted after the funeral parlour for arrangements was social security. Different circumstances as he had young children, but they were helpful. We also helped my sister-in-law find life insurance policies, paperwork, all that stuff which was squirreled away in his desk/office area of the house. Ask for quite a few death certficates. They all don’t have to have cause of death on them, however. Places like the cell phone company – if you need to close an account – don’t need those specifics even if they ask for a death certificate for confirmation. Don’t scramble so fast w/ the feeling that “it all must be done immediately.” Give yourself a moment to breathe and pull info together. After my husband accidentally made that mistake w/ regards to his dad’s checking account, it almost paralized him because he feared making additional mistakes. It’s okay to move slowly; nothing has to be done, except w/ regards to the funeral or some other bereavement/mourning ritual you might have. We came in wanting to help my sister-in-law get things together in a short amount of time because we all knew we couldn’t stay w/ her (OOS from our own homes) for too long. In hindsight, I wished we’d been less “productive” and more “reflective.” The things will get done and sometimes I think we kept active so as not to think too strongly about the loss. </p>

<p>Again, my prayers are with you and your family.</p>

<p>zebes</p>

<p>P.S. If there’s a funeral service (or viewing), have a friend of the family remain at the apartment. Regretably, thieves read the obituaries too and know when homes will be empty because family have gone to the services.</p>