Bullied into a College I don't want - Help!

<p>I have been accepted to my safety schools and waiting for word from my top choices. My mother has not put away enough money to send me to a top private school. I received money from two of my safety schools and my mother has been pushing me into attending these schools. While I understand her concern, I have the ability to be accepted to an ivy league school. How do I tell my mother that I don't want to go to my safety schools? Thanks!</p>

<p>That doesn't sound like bullying, that sounds like your mom being realistic.</p>

<p>How are you going to pay for the Ivy League school? If the money is GIVEN to you by the school, will your mom let you go there? Bottom line...you gotta go to a school where the bills can be made. Your matriculation decision doesn't need to be made until May 1. Relax and wait for all the acceptances and financial aid offers to come in. Them make the decision. You WILL have to live within the financial limitations of your family.</p>

<p>My mother has been financially irresponsible and is able to afford 25,000 a year; however, while most schools will likely give a financial aid package to bring the price down to in and around there, my mother does not want me to go to a school that she has to pay for (I have a full tuition scholarship at one school.) I am not asking if you think I should go to the other schools because I feel that they are not academically/socially a good fit for me, but would like a way to reason with my mother on the issue.</p>

<p>And I will not be making decisions until Mid-April.</p>

<p>What do you mean by "financially irresponsible"? Your mom likely has a lot more financial considerations than just your college funding to consider. Her retirement, for example (or do you want to support her in her old age?). What about other siblings, savings for health care expenses, etc.? Is she a single parent? </p>

<p>It is, after all, her money -- not yours. I think the word "bullied" does not apply in this situation.</p>

<p>Bullied?--I don't think so. Get rid of the entitled attitude and start being thankful for the opportunity being put before you. You sound as though $25,000/yr. times four years ($100,000) is easy to come by for your Mom. For goodness sake---do you know how many kids would love to be in your position (full scholarship)?</p>

<p>lose the attitude and maybe be a little more appreciative of everything that has been done on your behalf throughout the course of your life.</p>

<p>You can talk to your mom, and if she doesn't want to pay, then you can take out loans. Parents are not obligated to pay for your college education. If the Ivy League college is worth it to you, then it should be worth it for you to take out loans to be able to afford it, right?</p>

<p>ps - if you wouldn't be sufficiently happy at your safety schools, then you did a poor job picking colleges.</p>

<p>Exactly how will "reasoning" with your mother manufacture money that she does not have?</p>

<p>boysx4, the OP didn't say that the mom doesn't have the money but rather that even if she can afford the IVY with financial aid, she doesn't want to pay for it when her child has a free ride scholarship at the safety school.</p>

<p>A safety school should be a school THAT YOU LOVE, are pretty sure to get into, and can afford. Otherwise it is not a safety school. It is irresponsible to choose a school that you do not LOVE as a safety school.</p>

<p>So what IS your safety school? After all, you haven't gotten into ANY Ivy League schools, and the sheer odds are that you won't.</p>

<p>No sympathy here.</p>



<p>Pay for wherever you want to go to yourself.</p>

<p>I am in total agreement with all the posters above. There's an old saying "you're looking for trouble before there IS trouble". Having the "ability to be accepted into an Ivy" only mean you are Ivy-qualified, which is not unlike most kids who apply to Ivy schools. Getting an Ivy acceptance is tougher than you might think. Your post may in all likelihood be much ado about nothing.</p>

<p>Didn't you apply ED somewhere? How will you pay if you get in?</p>

<p>Your mom's money is her own, and she doesn't have to pay a dime for your education. You're younger and have a lot more years in the work force to contribute than she does. An Ivy League education is no guarantee of success in life, and lots of extremely bright students populate other universities.</p>

<p>Many have the "ability" to be accepted into top schools, but realistically, only a few can be admitted. You may be worrying for nothing.</p>


Geesh, you haven't even heard from these colleges. No need to make a decision now. Figure out costs and how FA will look. Wait until you know all your options.</p>

<p>Wait until you have all of your acceptances and financial aid offers before deciding (some Ivy League schools are rather generous with financial aid).</p>

<p>But, in any case, a safety must be a school you like. If you don't like it, it is not a safety.</p>

<p>OP, first -congratulations on your acceptances and especially your full tuition scholarship. You just made your first $$$$. Take time and enjoy that.</p>

<p>You may have missed the boat on reasoning with your mom if you've told her you think she's financially irresponsible because she can't/won't pay what you think she should. That would not go over well in our home. Most likely she thinks you're being financially irresponsible for not jumping at the scholarship. There will be other expenses beyond tuition though. </p>

<p>I understand you wanting to wait and see your acceptances and compare at the end of the cycle but am hoping you wont dismiss a great opportunity for yourself. Last year one of the "smartest boys" in Ds school chose a state college - good school, up-and-coming, but not our state flagship. He stepped outside the expected path - they offered him a full scholarship and he's never looked back. The high school alumni just visited last week and he loves his school, the freedom knowing he's already on a path to success and oh, extra money for the study abroad trips he wants to take. That plus he's not stressed about how to pay for his school at all which seemed to be a big topic of conversation.</p>

<p>Also, please remember, you love what you know. Take time to know more about your safety - visit, find the neat programs, traditions, talk to professors, buy a shirt...</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>



<p>That won't be an option. Your mom would have to sign for amounts that large. Don't count on borrowing more than $5500 - $7500/year (which won't be nearly enough to close the gap). </p>

<p>FinAid</a> | Loans | Student Loans</p>

<p>i agree with forthree. A full tuition scholarship is a special gift. Sure the ivy's are nice as are other high priced schools, but going through school without any financial worries and graduating with no debt can be even nicer. Also, it is hard to tell if you will be happy someplace just by talking a tour or two. I feel you can be happy anywhere as long as you go with an opem mind and the right attitude. If this school has your major and will be sufficently challenging for you - give it serious consideration.</p>

<p>Again as others have said, it is early to decide. Wait until all your offers come in. Also, do some quick research on other full tuition scholarships you may qualify for that haven't had their deadlines pass yet at schools you may like better.</p>

<p>Our state flagship has some prestigious scholarship opportunities above and beyond the full ride. A brilliant girl at my daughter's school turned down a Harvard admit for a scholarship that includes fully funded world travel during breaks and an additional $10k per year stipend among other things. If you think your stats are ivy worthy, you should check to see if your safety schools have additional scholarships.</p>