<p>What are the good landmarks of sort to update wills? I know about change in family situation, birth, death, etc. Any other? When kids turn 21?</p>
<p>In 47 states the “magic” age of majority is 18. In Alabama and Nebraska the age of majority is 19. Only in Mississippi is the age of majority 21. That said, some states where the age of majority is 18 will allow an UTMA to continue to 21. But as we all know from the CC Financial Aid discussions, an UTMA is probably the worst form of ownership for college funds available.</p>
<p>So in almost every state, you no longer need to worry about guardians for your kids once they turn 18; however, having kids hit the age a majority does not in and of itself require a trip to the attorney. What might cause that trip is that turning 18 doesn’t mean that your kids would be able to handle the money they would inherit at that age - only you know your kids and whether the amount of money they will inherit justifies the cost of seeing an attorney. That is where trusts under will or revocable living trusts come into play. Under these type of trusts you can delay your kids coming into the money until a later date - such as 25 or 30. Most attorneys recommend two or three payout dates - allowing for second chances in case your kid makes a financial mistake with the first distribution.</p>
<p>Older kids can present an interesting problem regarding college funding that may prompt a visit to an attorney - if your kids are not close in age. For example, if one or more kids are through college (on your nickel), or in college, and other kids have not yet begun college, have you set up your estate so that the education of the younger kids is paid for (or set aside) before your split the assets between all the children? Once again, you can cover such situations with a properly drawn will or trust, but the default is that prior paid college costs will not be considered when dividing assets.</p>
<p>We added a stipulation to our wills that the kids must meet with a fee only financial planner (paid by the estate) prior to any payout. Our attorney thought this was a fabulous idea and now suggests it to clients. Our trust is also set up for delayed payments. We don’t want to micromanage from the grave, but want to lessen the chance of young twenty-somethings blindly blowing through an inheritance that could provide a nice foundation for their futures.</p>
<p>I told my kids verbally on a lot of things. Hopefully they remember. I gave them little money to practice. They blew through it then they learn a good lesson. But I don’t put restrictive on anything in the will. Frankly if they blew through it when they are young, that’s their own damn fault. They can be poor when they are middle age. Their kids will learn to be smarter with money.</p>
<p>I am my dad’s executor. He stipulated that I am supposed to use my best judgment about bequests to those under the age of 30. It’s very tricky for me. There are two in that category and they are very different from each other. And I know one much better than I know the other. I hope those who make this stipulation give very clear instructions to their executors.</p>
<p>I guess we are letting S “try to see what he does with $$$.” We gave him a very low interest loan of 40 basis points that he promptly used to purchase more inventory for his ongoing online business and expects to sell all of his inventory for the holiday season. He has a very good head for business and finances. </p>
<p>D is still trying to find a job and get more experience in her field (cinema). We are keeping our fingers crossed that something will work out for her. We give her funds to support her while she continues to look and volunteers to help others in the field to gain experience.</p>
<p>It can be tough figuring out how to give significant assets to young people. We have a niece and nephew that are the two kids of my BIL. The D is responsible and has started her career in teaching. The S has gone down a rather troubled path and the two do NOT get along well. Some suggestions have been made that BIL leave assets in a spendthrift trust for the S, just to be sure he will have something to live on as he has not shown any good judgment to date, that that will likely increase the friction and resentment between the S & D. Am glad it’s not our issue as it is a rather tricky predicament for BIL.</p>
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<p>What is your timeline if I may ask? We used to have three distributions with the final one at 40. It feels late. </p>
<p>40? That sounds awfully late.</p>
<p>Well 35 is quite common. I wouldn’t be surprised 40 is not rare. </p>
<p>I imagine that my kid will be pretty far along in her professional and family life by 35. Into her career, having kids, buying a house, using her inheritance.</p>
<p>Our timeline is 25, 28 and 30. They get it all when they turn 30. Figure it is late enough that they should know how to put the money to good use. It’s also not too late! Hopefully, the money will come in handy for them to buy a house …</p>
<p>Ours is age 30–as D is 24 and S is 26, we figure we may pass long after they turn 30 anyway. We are trying to give them some experience with money now by giving S a large loan with below market interest rate. He is handling the funds very responsibly, as we figured he would and we are very heartened and inclined to continue along this path and also help D when she figures out what she would like funds to be used for.</p>
<p>Well, this becomes really individual imho. I am involved in settling an estate for 50-something yr old offspring who will get a very nice lump sum but will probably blow through it in a few months and then have absolutely zero financial safety net. This was a foreseeable situation. It would have been better to space it out at intervals even at these advanced ages. OTOH - we set it up so our 20 something yr old kids get everything at once. No worries there.</p>
<p>Yes, I have a sib that blows thru any funds he gets his hands on, vs. my kids who stretch things and invest them as well as they can. They are never asking for money vs. their relative who earns a ton of $$$ who is always pleading poverty, acting like tuition and future college expenses for his kids are unique to him!</p>
<p>Did all that years ago. Physicians so understand what happens when people do too much because no one has allowed the system to not do things. It is so terrible that people who believe in a heaven try to prolong inevitable deaths, especially of the elderly. Grand-p/m-a shouldn’t be allowed to suffer just so you can say he is still alive when his mind has gone and his body would be gone without interventions.</p>
<p>H here just now so I asked him. Funeral will be wherever we are living when we die. Cremation of course. I dislike how much land is taken up by graves, H comes from India. I also can’t see being stuck in a mausoleum, the choice so many cemeteries have gone to for space considerations. Somehow going to building x, vault #xxx doesn’t appeal to me. Also- the cemetery plot where my mother is and father will be buried only allows flat gravestones to make it easier to take care of the grounds. Dislike that as well. I wonder what will happen to the graves in the city my parents are from when no one who cares remembers them? </p>
<p>It really doesn’t matter what we wish when we are dead, we lose control and it doesn’t matter. Funerals are for the living, for closure et al. </p>
<p>I remember bypassing siblings in our will and going to the next generation if we both die before our only son. Part of it was so inlaws didn’t gain control of money.I think we wrote our wills so the other spouse’s family gets their share if they die first. It would be terrible if all of our money went to one side just because one of us died sooner.</p>
<p>Hey- when I was a young adult I was thinking if I die my debts die with me. So nice to have money to pass along. We also covered the age thing- 25 or 30. Now that son will be 25 I don’t worry about him and money (kid is almost too frugal). </p>
<p>Haven’t told my two siblings yet, but when our father dies leaving his modest house in need of repairs and some money I’ll likely tell them they can split the finds as long as I don’t have to any of the work. Nothing I really want. </p>
<p>We’re also thinking about wills and planning to redo them since we moved to a different state. Essentially, they’re very simple - the only complex thing is how to prevent the kids inheritance passing to a new spouse or their family and bypassing our kids. I’ve seen this happen after death and after a divorce either due to an oversight or when a fractious relationship existed between the kids and the new spouse and essentially everything from both parents went to unrelated step kids. I have no doubt DH will be swept off his feet by someone should I be the first to depart, and have no problem with this providing our kids are taken care of. Perhaps the wills can include something that says if either of us plan to remarry, half the surviving spouse’s estate is distributed to the kids before the marriage? Anyone have any experience with this?</p>
<p>I’m sure the estate planning attorneys are happy to help you get what you want after you explain it to them. I think giving half your estate to your kids before any remarriage is not an unusual situation and should be something estate attorneys are familiar with. Be prepared for DH to want similar provision if you outlive him. ;)</p>
<p>Post #55, a good trust lawyer should be able to help with that problem. I think a will may not be enough. You can set up trust onside a trust. I refused to do something too complicate but I think it can be done.</p>
<p>HImom, yes, we have discussed it and are both on board for the same arrangement . DrGoogle, we’re hoping for something simple - trusts sound complicated but we’ll speak with atty soon to find out our options.</p>
<p>I think it can be done with a minimum of fuss and formality. My SisIL set up a trust and it only required one tax return filed for the trust and then the assets were disbursed. It wasn’t all that complicated from a beneficiaries’ point of view, as long as you have a decent executor and estate attorney, both of whom were helpful.</p>