<p>Have you ever had one of those issues that bothers you and you just can’t let it go? I am just seeking some advice and answers that some of you may be able to help with. It is a sort of long story so I will try to be brief. I have a sister in law who has helped lead to some family problems. She is making it very difficult for anyone to have a relationship with her husband, who is my husband’s brother. Now, the blame is not entirely on her, my brother in law in an adult and makes his own choices. This said she is very manipulative and we have caught her in lies many times. It is unknown what she actually tells her husband. So, my question is this, does anyone know how to determine if someone is actually enrolled at a particular school? In this case it is Harvard. My sil has told us she got her masters and had a 4.0 and is now at Harvard. I was able to verify that she did get an undergrad degree but never a masters. So now she is saying that Harvard would not accept her masters from this Big 10 school and must repeat it at Harvard. She is saying she is getting a 4.0 at Harvard and the deans love her so much that they put her picture in their office. I don’t see how she ever could have gotten into Harvard, let alone be getting a 4.0 but I may be totally wrong. I wasn’t wrong about the masters though and many other things. I just want to find out the truth and want to know if any of you out there can help.</p>
<p>Potential employers do this kind of stuff all the time. Put on your best harassed personnel-manager voice, and give them a call. Ask if they would be so kind as to let you know whether or not X is currently enrolled in a degree program there. If they can’t give you the information over the phone, they will be able to tell you what steps you need to follow to get the information that you need.</p>
<p><a href=“Harvard Web Directory”>Harvard Web Directory;
<p>You could at least know if she goes to the school and which department.</p>
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<p>Seriously? Even if she is at Harvard why would she tack a statement like this on to it to make the rest of her story suspect? That’s priceless!! :rolleyes:</p>
<p>You have to even ask if she is lying? LOL!</p>
<p>When I applied for my current job, I had to give permission before they could contact my college to verify my graduation. Also, the contact was made through a clearinghouse that does this sort of thing. I don’t think just anyone can verify enrollment without the student’s/alumnus’s permission.</p>
<p>I checked for her masters degree on I think it was a website called [Verify</a> a Degree or Enrollment via Credit Card](<a href=“http://www.degreeverify.com%5DVerify”>http://www.degreeverify.com) or something like that. I have always read people well and just knew she had not received her masters in psychology, she had no real knowledge of even the basics of psych. She went to all lengths to tell us all about her masters program, to the point of even having an internship and telling me about “clients.” She even had a graduation party to celebrate getting her masters. As for going to Harvard, as suspected, her name doesn’t come up on any of the searches on the website provided by oldfort. Thanks for that, I had looked for it and was unable to find it in my searches before this. Is there any possible way she is indeed attending Harvard and would not be showing up on that website? Just covering all bases. Another note, she has even sent my inlaws Harvard t-shirts sinec she says she is a student there and wanted them to have the shirts. I just don’t understand why she feels the need to lie. Our relationship deteriorated when she realized I am wise to her. I have tried to always give her the benefit of the doubt but I don’t want to be a patsy any longer.</p>
<p>Do you live near her? I would be tempted to play right into this. </p>
<p>“I’m so impressed by your accomplishments and would love to see your campus. I’m so happy that the Dean’s love you so much they put your picture up, is there any way we could stop in and say hello while we are there? I’d love to meet some of your peers and have lunch…really see everything! I love the t-shirts you got mom and dad. I would love to pick one out for myself at the bookstore sis! Can we make a date?! I’m so excited!!” :)</p>
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<p>Yes. There is probably a box she could have checked to NOT have her name in the Public Harvard Directory.</p>
<p>I think your time would be better spent letting it go…</p>
<p>She sounds like a real piece of work.</p>
<p>LinkedIn claims to verify schools claimed.</p>
<p>What does you BIL have to say about it? If you discuss with her how it’s going at Harvard with the BIL present does he chime in or are these conversations always with the BIL out of the room?</p>
<p>At the end of the day, what does it matter? You already say she lies frequently and this would be just one more of them.</p>
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Uh huh - she’s not a very good liar.</p>
<p>I’m impressed that the Deans love her so much they put her picture in their offices. She must be very special.</p>
<p>The only thing that rings true is that Harvard is not accepting her Master’s from another university. This is quite common. When I was in a doctoral program at a top 10 university, people who came in with Master’s degrees, even from Harvard, had to start at square one with the rest of us who never got a Master’s.</p>
<p>Unless she signed a form specifying she did not want to be in the Harvard directory, she should be listed. (Considering her ego, I can’t imagine that she would do that . . . I’d imagine she’d want her picture and phone number on the COVER!!)</p>
<p>The only reason why the dean and the department would have her photo up in the offices is because they have a restraining order against her. LOL!</p>
<p>But I will say one thing about tall tales–sometimes they are true. I hadn’t seen someone I knew from high school for 40 years and he asked about my kids. I told him that the oldest was a Harvard physics grad and the younger one was at Dartmouth. He told one of his adult children who didn’t believe a word of it. Whatever…</p>
<p>But in your SIL’s case, I’m going to guess that this tall tale will remain tall!</p>
<p>OhioMom66, let it go. You can do it. You can only control whjat you do, not what someone else does.</p>
<p>I agree, let it go. Why make the dynamics even worse and bring yourself down to this level? I’m an investigative sort too so I know I’d probably be all over this just like you if my gut said she’s lying. But I think it is healthier all around to just leave it alone. </p>
<p>Methinks if this SIL is lying to the degree you seem to suspect, she is clearly suffering from a mental illness, personality disorder, or she at least has some serious demons she is struggling with. As such, it might be worthwhile to see the pathetic aspect of all this…feeling sorry for her as someone who feels so compelled to get noticed/respected/liked/admired because she believes her real self isn’t anywhere good enough.</p>
<p>Just wanted to add this doesn’t sound that far fetched to me. One can easily do a masters at once place, then move to a different graduate program with a different orientation or subfield, require students to redo coursework or get another masters. Even within the same field. But moreso in a field like psych (which is big and diverse, but also transects a lot of other fields at the graduate level). </p>
<p>Where I did my PhD, they took students with and without masters but we did the same coursework. But get this: if you had a masters, you couldn’t get another one along the way but if you didn’t, you did. Makes no sense but just an example of a lot of crazy weirdness at the graduate school level.</p>
<p>I had a partner 10 years ago who was a bit strange(but good looking), and a self made man living in a small town USA. He met a 20 something girl, got her pregnant and married her. All of his sisters were very protective of him ( or his money). They didn’t like this “gold digger.” This girl had the baby right before her college graduation, she then told her H that she needed extra money to get her diploma. She made a big deal about hr graduation, which her SILs never believed. They went through a great length in proving the girl was a liar to their brother. He divorced her because he felt like she had lied to him. But in six months he was back with her, they had 2 more kids together, and he does not speak to his sisters any more. </p>
<p>OP - you could be right about this woman, but it really doesn’t matter as long as her H feels perfectly fine with her, and this could really back fire on you.</p>
<p>If you have enough information you might be able to find out from this organization (it’s where I got transcripts for myself from a bazillion years ago and got verifications for the kids on our insurance.) I can’t remember what information is needed to access the documents, but if you could check it out. But I have to ask why do you care? She’s either telling the truth or not, but why does it matter so much? </p>
<p>[National</a> Student Clearinghouse: Degree verification & enrollment verification](<a href=“http://www.studentclearinghouse.org/]National”>http://www.studentclearinghouse.org/)</p>
<p>Look up her department at Harvard, and see what her e-mail is. It should end with <a href=“mailto:...@harvard.edu”>…@harvard.edu</a></p>
<p>evey dept lists their students</p>