<p>I am turning 60 soon, and have been doing a lot of reflecting on parenting. I have an incarcerated son, but I have one son who just got a Dept. of Energy grant of 50K a year to get his PhD in Nuclear Engineering, a D at Harvard, and an employed son in banking. My kids have a lot of confidence and skills, which is great-they can be self supporting and impact the world in positive ways. I have been an empty nester now for 4 years, and have a solid marriage and a wonderful family, except the kids are really busy and rarely call anymore . While I am happy for them, I almost wish they still needed me sometimes. Am I alone in my thinking? I always like to hear from the people at CC.</p>
<p>I think this is why, around now, we all start secretly wishing for the grand children to come along. My D lives only 25 miles from my house but she is so busy with her own life that I hardly ever hear from her. She will be moving away to Europe in a few weeks. </p>
<p>I always wanted to raise an independent strong daughter. Then I did. How depressing is that.</p>
<p>I always think of that. My kids are doing well. We live in a town where most of the peers of my grown children have not done very well. I know a lot of folks in town have their kids still living with them. And, like you, while I’m glad my kids are doing so well sometimes I look do feel like my kids are “too independent” and I wish they needed me a bit more.</p>
<p>Does good parenting equal successful children?</p>
<p>My kids turned out terrific in spite of my parenting. ;)</p>
<p>Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in moon …</p>
<p>Lergmom-I thought of that song too, but I was mostly a stay at home mom who DID make time for them!</p>
<p>Ouch, lergnom! I remember that song all to well…
I’m only secret about my wish for grandchildren around my children. Of course a wedding or three before then might be preferable.</p>
<p>We are so fortunate that our DS lives close so he does drop in or we make plans with him maybe every other week.
He doesn’t NEED us much anymore which is a good thing. The fact that he wants to have us in his life anyway makes me feel like we did some things “right”.</p>
<p>Still do miss just setting eyes on him more often, I do admit. :)</p>
<p>If you have kids that don’t want to have anything to do with you, is that good parenting?</p>
<p>And then there are families like ours with adult children with special needs.</p>
<p>Our DD is wonderful (and challenging) and we love her. But I would also love to be missing her at some point which is probably not in the cards.</p>
<p>Riprorin, just sad.</p>
<p>That’s a tough one with your daughter. God bless you.</p>
<p>Sorry, that was a little harsh. Didn’t intend to be mean.</p>
<p>FYI Riprorin–A successful kid has successful relationships and work outside of the parental units realm . The sort of stuff that makes us happy and sad at the same time. But you knew that…right?</p>
<p>I take zero credit for the way mine turned out. Luck of the draw.
This is an endlessly fascinating subject. Nature or nurture?</p>
<p>Yes, nature or nurture? I have this discussion with my kids a lot. They think their success is attributable to nature and my H and I say nurture. To end the discussion we say it’s a combination of both. :)</p>
<p>It’s obvious that their success it attributable to nurture and their failures to nature. ;)</p>
<p>And, also I think successful, busy kids can still fit in a call or a visit now and then. Good parenting should make them want to do that.</p>
<p>My next door neighbor has four fabulous grown children. She said it was just luck. Very modest that woman.</p>