I am in a divorce process. The marital property was sold. My income is low being a full time mother for more than 10 years. My ex earns 6 times more. Now he requests to reserve the cash from selling the marital property to pay college costs in the next 4 years. I need the cash to buy a place to live, and I can’t afford the mortgage without a substantial amount of down payment. What can I do that the cash will not be reserved in a bank account?
Do you have your own divorce attorney? If not, you will need one. With certain exceptions, such as a prenup and/or certain state’s rules, 50% of marital assets are likely yours, and should be disbursed to you. Then, you can choose how to spend/utilize these monies.
To quote a line from a favorite movie of mine (Gone With The Wind)…… “Asking ain’t getting”
You need to talk to your attorney, or hire one. IMO ex is trying to make you look like bad guy to kid(s) about future college costs.
The cash from selling the marital property is not yet distributed. Now my ex requests for court’s order to reserve the cash. The state rule is that the court may award sums of money out of property for college costs.
The state rule phrasing “may award” does not mean it’s mandatory, but that a court has discretion as to this issue. Again talk to your attorney, not internet strangers…
Interesting, what does your attorney say? It does not make sense for you to disproportionately bear the burden to pay for college and that is exactly what will happen in this scenario----you have low income, and make significantly less than your ex due to the joint marital decision that you would stay home and forego career prospects to raise the children. Perhaps the state law is ironclad, but I would have your attorney work very hard to prevent the situation you outlined from occurring.
I am sorry you are going through this and wish you all the best.
I said to the court I don’t agree to reserve the cash to be used in the next 4 years, instead, the parents pay the college costs each year.
Seems reasonable, but with the disproportionate incomes you have to spell out in any divorce agreement what proportion of the college costs each parent is responsible for. Do you have an attorney?
Thank you.
No, I don’t have an attorney.
I strongly advise that you get an attorney, this is a complicated situation that may become (or already is) full of conflict. If you can’t afford an attorney, you could do a search in your local area for organizations that help women navigate situations like this for low to no cost.
This isn’t a DIY thing. And there’s too much we don’t know. Your financial specifics and, eg, are 100% of the profits going to you or you two split this sale profit? It’s not unfair to say you got a windfall (albeit in unfortunate circumstances) and need to pay toward projected college expenses. And even if you want to buy a new home, the colleges may not agree that’s the $ priority (same as anyone selling and banking the proceeds.)
In general, ideally, the divorced parents would split college costs proportionately. Imo, that’s what you go for. Yes, it’s more of a hardship for you.
Bff endured this, also an ex earning much more. Her income alone was low enough to qualify for max aid and one twin did apply to a FAFSA-only college, also got merit aid. They ended up splitting remaining costs 50-50, but she maneuvered for extended spousal support and other benefits that made this feasible. Again, this is too complex for a brief discussion on an anon forum. You need an attorney who will ardently argue your side, understand the many ways this can add up to “reasonable.” Or where to draw your line.
You need an attorney.
Health care- whose plan are the kids on now? Retirement- does he have an IRA or 401K? Who is the beneficiary? Life Insurance- if he dies while your kid is in college, do the proceeds of his life insurance go to a girlfriend, his sibling, or to your child to make sure she/he can finish his education?
The house is the least of your problems. Get a lawyer ASAP before you get sideswiped and it’s too late to fix it.
Yes, get a lawyer.
Now, if you want to ask about how divorce affects college cost and financial aid, perhaps the forums can help you. But that does not substitute for negotiating a fair divorce settlement (including how the college costs are divided between the ex-spouses), which is best done with a lawyer.
Reserving the money (your portion, and I assume he’s going to reserve his portion too) may actually prevent your daughter from getting financial aid. If she attends a FAFSA only school, and she lives with you, the information on the FAFSA will be your income, your assets, your housing. A primary residence (and any equity) is excluded but money sitting in a bank account is not.
Assuming you remain low income, have only a house as an asset, and don’t have a large bank balance, your daughter might qualify for a Pell grant and other need based financial aid. If you have $50k from the sale of the house, that most likely will prevent her from getting a lot of aid.
At a CSS school, it may not matter as much if your ex has a large income.
You need to argue to the judge that the house money has to be used to buy a house and not for her education. If you were still married, no one would suggest you sell the house to pay for college so don’t let your husband do that now.
Your ex is clearly not representing your or even your child’s best interest.
You need one! Do not try to DIY this alone. Best wishes.
The questions you have clearly show that you are not prepared to do this on your own with some online help.
You clearly need an experienced divorce attorney to represent you. Not a traffic ticket lawyer but someone who specializes in divorce. It may seem expensive but it sounds like your husband’s lawyer could wipe you out without protection. Any chance of mediation (still need good legal advice)?
Get an attorney. It will be worth it in the long run. You are going to need the money from the house to buy yourself a new house.