@lookingforward It seems you are considering what would be the best way to aid the child’ education and contributing to it with the fund. Do you see that this thread is about her ex trying to obtain legal control over the fund that the mother is entitled?
I see the choices here as 1. Keep whatever amount of money she will be assigned to under her control or 2. Allow the ex to put a substantial portion of it under court controlled account reserved for the child’s college fund.
Based on my view;
“non-divorced parents don’t get to say the money in the bank is for a new home.”
Irrelevant. They are divorcing.
“we don’t know what the profit is.”
Profit is irrelevant. Only the portion of the sales proceeding that the court is likely to give her matters. There is enough information that it is substantial enough to cover a substantial portion of OP’s down payment of a new home or college expense of their children.
“Or what the college expense will be.”
Irrelevant because 1. you shouldn’t pay what you can’t afford to pay. 2. the fund is preserved in the form of house equity and can still be used for the college expense.
“what reserve the ex wants to see.”
Why would she even care what her ex wants to see?
“he’s expecting to pay more than she does”
Any responsible father who makes 6x more than the mother should. But that’s up to him.
“but wants to see a portion of her profit set aside,”
Obviously. But that’s not up to him. The mother should fight if he tries to control it.
“so it’s there, not counting on her low income to support her share of costs? Is that unreasonable?”
It is reasonable for the father to want it. But in my personal opinion, the method that the father is using is unreasonable because it is ethically unfair and financially stupid. Why jeopardize need based financial aid? What about the mother’s livelihood? At the very least, he could offer a mutually agreeable deal with his ex regarding allocation of responsibility regarding the college fund, in a way that is less detrimental to the mother’s livelihood and need based financial aid.
“Again, details would help.”
Details would help. But not necessary to see that she needs a lawyer immediately. I would leave the details to her divorce attorney.
“Get a lawyer or consult but the chances they understand fin aid, financing, merit aid, or college options, is slim. OP still needs that understanding.”
I am not following your suggestion? Are you saying that OP should learn college finance and base her decision on the knowledge, rather than finding a lawyer who wouldn’t understand FA? So that, if she think the child’s college plan requires it, then submit it to the court as the father wants?
That would be a huge mistake for the mother because 1. you shouldn’t pay what you can’t afford to pay. 2. the fund is preserved in the form of house equity and can still be used for the college expense.
"My bff did use mediation … "
That would be a great idea for the mother later. ONLY AFTER gaining a complete control over her fund. Then she can learn all about college finance and negotiate with the father through a mediator.
“fafsa only, where only her income was considered, in aid calculations.”
I see that they either didn’t have enough fund at the time of divorce, or they didn’t put it in a court ordered college fund account. Or else, they couldn’t have done the fafsa and aid calculations. They were smart. I want the op to be smart too.
“In this thread, we don’t know what numbers.”
It doesn’t change that she needs a lawyer immediately rather than working out college funds with her ex. If her ex gains control of her fund through court, than what’s the point of her to study the college financial anyway? It won’t even be her decision any longer.