<p>Niece N and her boyfriend NB are both HS seniors. They’re working on college applications, last rounds of tests, etc. NB’s parents wanted him to retake the SAT after his spring scores were so-so. (He retested today.) </p>
<p>In chatting with them last summer, I was led to understand that it was the math score that was the main issue, so I offered to spend some of time tutoring/offering pointers/etc. I asked for the breakdown of the first test score, so I would know where we stood. He told me it was M560/CR640. I was a bit surprised, since N had mentioned to me at one point that NB had scored CR800. ( I recall thinking this was not surprising since he wants to be a Journalism major or some such.) But obviously he has lied, either to her or to me (more likely to her). </p>
<p>I haven’t mentioned this discrepancy to N, and I’m not sure why such a seemingly small thing (which I could understand, maybe) would be unsettling to me, but I am conflicted. Maybe because I hate not having all the available information when making decisions, and I see N making decisions about her potential life with NB without information I might have wanted to have under the circumstances.</p>
<p>Is it a chink? Or is it so small as to be insignificant?</p>
<p>I wouldn’t mention it. I’ve talked to enough students (and their parents) who seem to have incredibly fuzzy memories of what the student’s test scores were to be suspicious of anything I don’t see in writing or on the screen. One mom proudly told me of her son’s 92 on the ACT. (She’d added all the component scores. Seriously*.) Or they confuse the score with the percentile that was in the table – D score was in the 68th percentile, so that’s a 680. Um…no.</p>
<p>*Well, in her defense, that’s exactly what you do for the SAT, so I get her logic.</p>
<p>That’s what I was thinking…maybe the N got confused. Maybe it was his writing score. I would write this off. It could too easily be a misunderstanding or mistake and not a lie at all.</p>
<p>Go to Hulu or Netflix and find the Wonder Years episode where the kids get their SAT scores back. Watch it. Then decide how much it matters to you, who have no hand in this game.</p>
<p>Then ask yourself if you really, truly think it matters as far as high school kids who probably won’t even be together by next November are concerned about their “potential life together”. You’re not seriously suggesting the a fib about test scores predicts a good future, are you? </p>
<p>Let it go. There is much more important information your niece will need to know about this kid if against all odds they do stay together.</p>
<p>Agree with barrons. Actually, no offense, but such concern about this from you is kind of creepy. You don’t know who is lying or mistaken anyways. Forget you heard anything.</p>
<p>I think he either got a 800 in Writing and niece got mixed up…or niece may have lied to you to make her BF “look better”. Or maybe he got a 12 on the essay, and when he said he got a perfect score, the N thought that meant he got a 800.</p>
<p>The fact that the BF told you the truth (presumably), it’s less likely that he told his GF a lie. Think about it, he wanted help with Math…if he had lied to his GF, then he would have lied to you as well. Why wouldn’t he have?</p>
<p>I don’t find this a creepy concern but do agree on letting it go. OP must be close to these young people if s/he is offering to help out with studying for the test. </p>
<p>People can send the same message as Barrons without being rude.</p>
<p>Yes, completely insignificant. Not a measure of anyone’s character. Can easily be explained as others have stated. I don’t think your interest is creepy but it does seem unusual to consider that two high school seniors will go on to have a life together but I suppose it does happen. This discrepancy is not even a lie for sure and I would recommend pretending you have no knowledge of anyone’s scores.</p>
<p>I have a family member who claims to have gotten an 800 on one SAT section - a statement that surfaced when this person started to hit 50. (No, I can’t make this stuff up.) Some people are really, really attached to the glitz of a perfect SAT score, and yes, many make it up. Also, many people who make things like that up aren’t smart enough to go for “just less than perfect;” they have 4.0s, not 3.9s; 800s, not 770s.</p>
<p>(I have noticed this in part from seeing it in action, and in part from skepticism from other people. It happens a lot, and neither niece nor NB benefits in the long term from this.)</p>
<p>I think it’s a greater character flaw for an adult to jump on an exaggeration or misunderstanding of a kid, than for the kid to report something in accurately to the adult( especially when it isn’t any of their business).</p>
<p>Once the niece and BF separately or together brought up and mentioned the BF’s SAT scores to OP in conversation, they effectively made it her business. </p>
<p>It was more so when one of them expressed some interest in being tutored by the OP.</p>
<p>If you don’t want something to be someone else’s business, don’t bring it up, otherwise talk about it with others, or moreso…seek help from someone for the matter concerned.</p>
<p>I agree with Nrdsb4. I always thought a white lie was when for example someone asks you if you like their new hair cut/dress/ or gift they gave you… and you say yes regardless of what you really think.</p>
<p>I would let it go rather than be accused of meddling if your niece misinterprets your raising the issue. If it were my D I might gently make an inquiry, but not with an extended family member. In my extended family this could cause a firestorm.</p>
<p>OP - I’d say simply move on. If you run into NB, only ask how he did on math. If he volunteers his other scores, don’t feel obligated to pass them on.</p>