(Moderator edits to remove identifying information)
White/Female/Foster kid
Massachusetts resident
one of the best public schools in Massachusetts
Filing independent (Foster kid status)
Intended major: Biology
GPA 4.3/5
Rank 31/422 Top 10%
All AP or Advanced honors coursework. Took AP comp sci principles, APUSH, AP physics, AP language and composition. Next year I will take AP statistics, Ap European history, and AP psychology.
-traded in study halls to become a lab assistant for my highschool
-Massachusetts student achievement award
-Student excellence in history award
-Honorary mention in Holocaust essay contest
Extracurriculars
Church youth group volunteer 2018-present: led and planned in volunteer events for the community. Some events had around 300 participants.
Essays/LORs/Other
Mostly a trauma dump about my childhood and situation.
Schools
Tufts early decision
UMass Amherst early action
UMass Boston early action
Northeastern early action
Boston college priority scholarship
Wellsley Ed 2
Williams regular
Amherst regular
Great job with all you have achieved! You should feel very proud.
You have an excellent chance at Tufts, but these top schools are incredibly hard for any applicant to get into.
Have you ever had a job or been in a school club? I am curious about how you spend your time other than school and church volunteering? If you are an avid reader or have hobbies, it works to put those on your Common App too.
Best of luck! And remember, not to take college rejections personally. You have already proven yourself as a very capable person.
Yes, OP, your life experiences have given you insight that many applicants won’t have. Think about who you are, what you want to achieve, and what you will bring to a college community. You might ask a trusted teacher to review your essay with this framing in mind.
What is your unweighted GPA on a 4.0 scale? An A is 4 points, B is 3 points, C is 2 points, and a D is 1 point. Add up the points and divide by the number of classes. Only use core classes (i.e. no P.E.).
I was president/vice president of coding club but that was the only leadership position I had. Besides that I was in badminton, baking, NHS, DnD, and environmental clubm
By adding up and averaging the core classes it’s a 3.7.
I got 5’s for Ap lang and APUSH. And I got a four for AP comp sci principles. AP psychology, European history, and stats I’ll take this year.
Do you have any suggestions for how I can close it to have a main point? Like if I wanted to end it showing that I’ll take these experiences and utilize for a new perspective on how to help people, would that be to cliche?
What is the main point? I am not a fan of writing a trauma dump essay for the common app essay. You don’t want the admissions readers to feel sorry for you, right? It’s become common for students to think that admissions readers want to hear stories of struggle, but that’s not necessarily true.
While your circumstances have undoubtedly shaped you, it’s important to stay positive and convey who you are today and what you have to offer as a member of the college’s community.
Here are three resources that may help you think about how you want to write your essay:
I wanted the essay to be about my past and how it screwed my sense of morals as a kid. But how I want to dedicate myself to fixing the morals later on (volunteering and stuff). But I’m scared to end the essay with a cliche of “I am trying to be a good person”. I’ve been navigating that whilst still trying to use my past for some good in the essay.
I’m not going to tell you what to not write a trauma dump essay, but I would not spend much time on what happened when you were a kid. Please consider reading those resources I posted, and make sure an English teacher and/or your HS counselor reads your essay before you submit it. College Confidential also has people who will provide essay feedback.