<p>Just a heads up to parents who think their kid can’t get a checking account when they’re 17 w/o your knowledge.</p>
<p>They Can. My son, who will not be 18 until mid-October was able to get a checking account without my knowledge. And he took all the money from a citibank account where I had put money for him and now has it in an account that I have no visibility to. Chase will not give me any information about this because I’m not on the account. I told them I wanted to know how he could get account when he is not yet 18 and they told me that since he was in college and his birthday is only 6 weeks away it was up to the branch manager to allow it and apparently they did.</p>
<p>Like Sueinphilly, its the loss of knowledge of how child is budgetting and spending. It gets scarier when they turn 21 and want control of all their money.</p>
<p>hmmm “their money” as in trust payments or earnings or parent contributions? I am not quite getting this concern. Most 21 year olds are not self sufficient as they are still undergrads. Help me out here.</p>
<p>He won’t give me his account info. I have no visibility to see how fast he is spending MY money that he moved from citibank to chase. Nor can I transfer money into an account he won’t tell me about. If it was His money, I would be less concerned.</p>
<p>My kids have so little money of their own it doesn’t matter much what they do with it. </p>
<p>On the other hand, if they attempted to spend the money we have saved for them for college, well, that would be the end of their college tuition I guess.</p>
<p>Sue - Since he has your money, simply tell him he can now make the tuition/r&b/books payments all by himself. Problem solved.</p>
<p>Did he already have access to the citibank account?? I mean the kids can open up checking accounts all over the place but where are they getting the money to put into it??
PS S opened his Chase checking account when he was 16 - no input from us - but is was with his work money.</p>
<p>If it was your money, how did he empty the account at citibank?</p>
<p>You need only know his name and perhaps address to make a deposit to the account…wire transfer you’d need the account number. This seems to be more a breech of trust issue than monetary. I would think tuition/housing was paid in July or Aug so we must be talking expense money for semester? </p>
<p>I guess I don’t quite understand what purpose your observation of his spending would serve. Clearly there was an amount in the account designated to cover some period of time. If he cannot budget he will be w/o money or get a job. If the account is solely in his name, your credit/banking activity won’t be affected. </p>
<p>You sound angry about the breech of agreement.</p>
<p>Yes, there was about 1400 in the citibank. 800 I put in there and 600 of his (mostly graduation money since he spent every penny of the $800 he earned during the summer). He had an ATM card</p>
<p>I pay for everything of his except his insatiable appetite for clothing. Cell phone, books, college…</p>
<p>This is kid is so pathetic that he called me this morning (I got real excited for a minute) until he complained that I hadn’t changed the mailing address on the 3 magazines he subscribes to (I pay for them, he reads them). I’ve been mailing them to school each week. He complained that he was getting old news. I told him that if it was so important to him that HE should go online to change the mailing addresses, he has the magazines at school and all the info you need to change the address is on the mailing label…</p>
<p>The money is just another system of control issues that have plagued our relationship for many years. My son is very smart (on paper), don’t get me wrong. He is also terrible with money, controlling, lazy and doesn’t do anything he doesn’t have to and then it’s done in a hurry at the last minute.</p>
<p>yes, it is the breech of trust and his desire to control that irks me.</p>
<p>Ahhh old issues and new demonstration of desire to be self sufficient. You know, good for him that the account is in his name only. Now he only need provide you whatever you demand for the favor of providing him w/ additional funds. Are you not seeing this as total control? If the kid is that unreliable with money why would you ever have wanted a joint account w/ him? </p>
<p>Be happy he made your life easier. Now you must close the joint account and make sure you are no longer liable for his banking in any way. </p>
<p>I take it he has a meal plan, dorm room or apt. paid for. What else does he really need? You can ask for an accounting of the $800.
Chances are he has a credit card too. Is that a part of this?</p>
<p>Sue - I feel bad for you; you sound so angry. (And I don’t blame you - it is terrible when our kids disappoint us!) </p>
<p>Can I give you some advice? </p>
<p>I have one kid who is very frugal, and one who spends money like water. I give both of them very minimal funds - just tuition, r&b, books. Occasionally new sneakers or a winter jacket if I’m feeling generous.</p>
<p>My frugal one has worked since he was 16, and always has money - but he is tight with it.</p>
<p>My other child works on and off (always works in the summer). It is no coincident that he gets a job when he is broke. </p>
<p>Keep these kids a little hungry. It is the ONLY way they will ever learn to handle thier money. If they have r&b paid for, they are not going to die. They can only control us if we let them (and then we are enablers).</p>
<p>You pay for everything? How does that make him responsible for paying his bills, even if you fund his needs? The way it sounds 15 weeks in a term and $1400 is spending? Sounds like the cell phone is on famiily plan so you basically have the contract? What exactly is he responsible for again?</p>
<p>I get the fact that you are angry. I still don’t understand how you think this arrangement that he has chosen removes control from you?</p>
<p>Yes, he has a meal plan and lacks for nothing. </p>
<p>AFAIK, he has not gotten a job (work study or other) yet. I don’t know if he has a credit card. I also told him that money in his name (this is the first time he ever had account solely in his name) must be reported on FAFSA and that the 20% of the balance will be added to the EFC. I hope I can get him to tell me the balance. </p>
<p>There is $4.21 in the Citibank and he can’t get money put in there so he can’t do any damage to any of my other accounts.</p>
<p>I am mad. I have no way of knowing if he’s buying an Ipod that he’s wanted (and I refused to buy after the other mp3 player I got him was lost after 2 months)</p>
<p>This kid asked me to get him a subscription to the New York Times. I think I’ll tell him to write a check.<br>
I’m worried that he’ll screw up his credit and not qualify for federal loans. I have a vested interest in him 'doing things right).</p>
<p>I have a closet full of clothes that he bought at various times and within 2 weeks he decided he didn’t like them anymore. tags off, receipts gone. I figure that there are $500+ worth of clothes sitting here. </p>
<p>This is the type of kid that would call at the last minute and say, I need money for a train ticket - tomorrow. That hasn’t happened (yet) but I wouldn’t put it past him.</p>
<p>I am still reading this as you don’t understand. As long has his name is on the CitiBank Account he can use the debit card/write checks. Should his actions cause an overdraft YOU are also named on the account and would be liable. Why would you risk such a thing? I don’t understand that. </p>
<p>What difference does it make if he buys exotic chocolates or an iPod? He has X dollars to last him until such time that you feel inclined to provide him additional. This might be a good exercise in logical consequences for him. </p>
<p>If he damages his banking relationship and finds himself on ChexSystems, most banks have some money management course a kid can take and then establish another bank account. You really have no way of knowing what his level of responsibility w/ regard to credit cards and bank accounts will be. It would be nice if you could protect him but he is choosing to go it alone.</p>
<p>Oh dear. You need to get this situation under control. He could become an adult that has no clue how to handle money - in which case it won’t matter much what sort of fancy education he has!</p>
<p>Personally, I think you need to decide what you are going to pay for and pay it directly to whomever. (Probably to the college.) Tell him that going forward you are done sending him “mad” money. It sounds like he has plenty of clothes to last him for awhile. Stop letting him nickel and dime you to death - YOU ARE NOT DOING HIM ANY FAVORS!</p>
<p>He can get a job and earn his spending money. (He can work at a clothing store and get a nice discount.) Once you have clear delineation of funds, you don’t have to feel guilty or responsible. Doesn’t that sound like a relief? He may be the sort of person that just doesn’t get it until they make a mistake. </p>
<p>You have only a limited vested interest. If he destroys his credit rating, then he suffers the consequences (make sure he understands that). No loan = No college that year. </p>
<p>Look at all the screwed up families there are that are wrecked because their finances are in complete shambles. Stop that from happening right now. Teach him how to be responsible for his money. In order for him to learn that, he has to have the “opportunity” to screw up. Scary? Yeah - but hey! This is parenting! It isn’t for wimps!!!</p>
<p>Do you understand how debit cards and NSF fees work in today’s world of banking? You will be liable for any overdrafts. I think you first need to protect yourself.
I think Citi lists $30 per event.</p>
<p>the citibank is a online savings account, no debit/check writing.</p>
<p>He knows all about being responsible with money. He has seen me doing it all his life. In fact, I think the fact that I am organized, get things done ahead of time, am fiscally responsible has made him want to be NOT like me. </p>
<p>Yes, it is PAINFUL knowing there will be a train wreck and you can see it coming for MILES and yet there is nothing you can do about it</p>
<p>If he wants his New york times, I’ll tell him to pay for it. If he wants his magazines sent to school he can change it.</p>
<p>My son truly thinks I am a selfish person because 'all the other parents do this stuff no questions asked". This includes buying unlimited clothing at any cost. </p>
<p>One of the things I have said for years is “failing to plan is planning to fail”. He hates that saying (and me for saying it)</p>
<p>My parents never had access to my checking info when I got an account starting at age 15. Maybe things were different back then? They gave me an amount of money that they thought was adequate for each semester. If I wanted more I worked.</p>
<p>In your shoes, I’d tell your son what you are willing to give him per month or semester and that he needs to account for his spending, showing you his receipts if he needs more money. If he ruins his credit rating that’s his problem. He’ll probably always be a bit of a spender, my brother is. He hasn’t gone bankrupt, but it does always seem to be feast or fanime in his household.</p>
Stop letting him nickel and dime you to death - YOU ARE NOT DOING HIM ANY FAVORS!</p>