<p>A friend of mine has two children and the youngest one was still living at home until a couple of weeks ago when she moved in with her dad ( purely for practical reasons). This child is 22 and my friend is scheduled to lose her portion of the child support this winter.</p>
<p>Anyway, her ex sent her an email saying that he will discontinue child support now because the child has moved in with him and he is now “supporting her”. My friend is still managing all of her expenses except for food.</p>
<p>My question is: can a parent discontinue child support without a court order to do so if the child moves into his or her residence?</p>
<p>I don’t think so but she needs to look at her written settlement agreement and child support order. Changes to the arrangement that is in writing would require a judge’s order, at least with regard to minor children. In my state there is no statue to compel child support beyond 18 - that’s when my ex’s payment for our oldest child stopped, even though she is at home this summer so I am supporting her. I’m surprised that your friend’s ex has been paying support for an adult child, unless there is a disability involved.</p>
<p>^^^^Yes, I am surprised that a parent could be compelled to support a “child” who is 22 years old. Perhaps this wasn’t originally ordered by the court but agreed to by the parties with college graduation as the benchmark?</p>
<p>In my state child support cannot stop without a court order. When the child is “emancipated” (depending on age/original decree/college, etc.) the payor has to file with a court and get the support stopped. IMO, this is a good thing because a lot of people (mostly men) would just decide to stop for reasons they “deemed” appropriate.</p>
<p>I would send an email back immediately, stating that friend is expecting that ex will continue to honor all the terms of the divorce decree including continuing to pay child support per the decree until ----------- (fill in date), unless he plans to pay attorney fees for disobeying them, plus penalties, interest, and overdue support.</p>
<p>If there is a court agreement in place, the correct thing to do is for the ex-H to continue to pay support, and then take ex-W to court for income modification to the support order. </p>
<p>After the modification is granted Ex-W would eventually have to repay the support for the amount of time that the child was living with dad (and would most likely have to pay dad child support going forward until the end of the support decree).</p>
<p>Firstly, your friend needs to re-read the original written (presumably court approved) agreement.</p>
<p>Things differ from state to state, but generally speaking, non-custodial parents are not entitled to summarily end or decrease child support. However, the circumstances may permit a modification. When the child moved in with the other parent, the mother’s custodianship ceased (unless this move is temporary in nature). In any event, some states do permit reduction in payments for regular or extended overnight visits to the non-custodial parent’s home.</p>
<p>More and more states (just adopted in New York, for example; and it’s a longstanding practice in New Jersey) are adopting the rule by which child support is mandatory until the child finishes college or 4 years after high school graduation, whichever comes first. Yes, I know it sounds counter intuitive but in many states a child who has reached the age of majority is entitled to continue to receive child support, despite the fact that the parents legally have no say in that child’s education, as per FERPA.</p>
<p>And can we please dismiss with the stereotypical complaints about men. There are many cases of indifferent or selfish (non-custodial) mothers who refuse to pay child support.</p>
<p>Interesting that NY and NJ have recognized what many of us know, that those 4 years post college are pricey ones indeed! Even if not in school, parents end up helping and/or housing in many cases. </p>
<p>All the above advice is good. However, she knows what her attorney costs, and I think the price of getting into legal action at this late date might be worth looking at and balanced with the expected gain in child support. Perhaps they can work out expenses more informally, and enable this practical arrangement that seems to benefit the 22 year old. Some of this of course depends on whether the support payments are via the court system or not.</p>
<p>I think she has an agreement that he pays until the child is 23, which will happen this coming winter. She is hesitant to get a lawyer involved because she just can’t afford it.</p>
<p>I don’t know all of the specifics but it has been a very messy divorce with lots of going back to court, etc. She is at her wits end.</p>
<p>Does anyone know of any kind of free service that is available for people that will advise them in terms of finances, etc? I just don’t know how to help her with this beyond listening when she needs an ear.</p>
<p>“My friend is still managing all of her expenses except for food.” </p>
<p>Not sure what the expenses are that she is still paying but I’d think that if the husband isn’t paying child support then he should be paying the expenses for the child.</p>
<p>Well the health insurance might be hard to change or not able to change but the other stuff I would think would be fair game for him to start paying at least some of.</p>
<p>This coming winter is winter of 2013? If so, we are talking about only few months of child support payments. I don’t think the ex would want to go to court over few more months of payment either. Has your friend contacted her ex to ask him to pay for the remainder child support and deduct a small amount for the food and few other incidentals? I don’t think it would be worth it for either party to go to court over this.</p>
<p>AFAIK, Child Support is court ordered, and neither party can change the court order unless they both sign a consent agreement, which is filed with (and approved by) the court. One party cannot just change it on their own. If your friend and her ex can agree on a different amount of child support, then it’s pretty simple to file the paperwork - the county likely has the forms online. If they don’t agree on changing it, then he will have to file a petition to have it changed. The court will notify her, and she will be able to show why she thinks it shouldn’t be changed. Then the court will decide.</p>
<p>Your friend might be able to get one or two free consultations with family lawyers to see what they have to say. There may be some sort of advocate’s office in the county that can give her some insight.</p>
<p>At 23, perhaps some of the expenses you mentioned should be paid by the daughter, such as cell phone and car insurance. If the daughter is on the mother’s auto policy but no longer lives with the mother, she should be put on the father’s policy and let him (or the daughter) absorb the cost.</p>
<p>Given that the child support is due to end in just a few months, had the parents and daughter had any discussions about the future of health insurance, cell phone, car insurance, etc? </p>
<p>Looking at this from the outside, it seems unreasonable for the father to terminate child support with no notice. If I were the mother, I’d try to negotiate a lower amount for the next few months - taking into account that the father is now supplying food and paying for the added utilities (water, electricity), while acknowledging that the wife is still paying some of the bills (car insurance, cell phone). The father shouldn’t have to support the daughter “twice”.</p>
<p>I would try and get the actual expenses covered. Send copies of the bills for the cell phone, health insurance and car insurance and see what can be worked out.</p>
<p>Did they have a plan for these expenses when the child support ended?</p>