Choosing Between Private and Public Schools...

Parent Cafe
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<p>This is a carryover from another thread.</p>

<p>I am interested in hearing from people who were seriously considering private school for their kid(s) and decided to either make the switch or not. I’d like to know:</p>

<p>a) why were you thinking about it? I’m particulary interested in the academic aspects of your decision.
b) if you switched, how much did it stretch you fianances, if it all?
c) any secondary costs, like a longer drive to school, leaving freinds behind?</p>

<p>My sons are in public HS, #1 graduates this week. We were considering private school for #2 for better academics but the only one in our area that was more than marginally better than the public school was north of $22,000/yr and strongly urged residential enrollment (live at school at dorms). </p>

<p>That is a big chunk of change and we wanted him at home, so we decided to accelerate him in math as much as we could at the public school and have him take math at the cc afterwards.</p>

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<p>Well - this is history, but, send mine to private high school following private K-8, and if I had it to do over again, I would probably buy my house in the very best or (or closest to best that I could afford) neighborhood in the city, and send her to the public school - mostly because the better public schools are actually excellent with IB programs, etc.; they seem to have about the same number of AP classes, and the teachers are equal or better; the gifted or accelerated programs seem to be plentiful; the ECs are numerous; the sports seem well supported; the opportunity to be in a large mix of students from varied backgrounds; the financial investment would have been wiser (more house vs. $70 K total high school education) - and I really think that for college, mine would have ended up at about the same place - deferred, then rejected from an Ivy, but landing in a top tier school with academic and a lessor amount of athletic money, and most importantly where she has been very happy. </p>

<p>Of course, I think it’s different in, say, NYC or New Jersey or some of the sectors of the northeast - I would speculate that the real estate values are probably more disparate, and there are many more private schools to choose from. </p>

<p>I had only three choices - one was too small; the second was an all girls school, which didn’t work for me right away, but also, while the tuition was affordable, the culture of the school included things like field trips to Europe, and just very expensive ECs that I felt would have been inappropriate for us (parents of those students are very, very wealthy). So I defaulted into the third. In regions such as the northeast there are very likely far more choices, so it may be possible to match up a private high school more directly with a student’s strengths and interests, which of course makes it a more sensible decision.</p>

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<p>I’m a big supporter of public schools. That said, all 3 of mine went to private colleges. But through high school (unless you are in a dangerous situation) I believe the kids learn alot about different socio-economic levels, races, different family make-ups, etc. They learn to get along in the “real world”. It surprises me sometimes when I hear parents talking about wanting their child to attend xyz college because it offers such diversity–but these same parents isolated their child in private schools where they wouldn’t rub elbows with kids not of their “class”. I also feel if involved, supportive parents who value education pull their children out of the publics, positive changes are not made in the systems. These are all somewhat “ivory tower” reasons and bottom line, you have to do what is best for your individual child. But if we had put 3 through private high school, there is no way they would have attended the colleges of their choice—not due to their academic level, but rather our bank balance.</p>

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<p>I wrote about this a bit on the other thread:</p>

<p>"I have changed my tune on public school hugely. My husband and I both graduated from public school, and one of our children is in high school in our town with well ranked public schools. We have always been big supporters of public education.</p>

<p>However, public education has changed enormously, as a result of too many state tests and federal mandates. It has become increasingly rigid and routine, with far too much time spent preparing for and taking state tests, and far too little time spent doing critical thinking, interesting projects, etc. Forget about physical activity, interesting music, etc. My daughter’s class lost parts of eleven instructional days, just taking the state tests. This doesn’t include the umpteen hours spent doing review and preparation, of some incredibly mind numbing work.</p>

<p>So, she isn’t going to public school next year. I think school should be creative and interesting, not just boring and routinized. We didn’t pull her from public school without a lot of thought.</p>

<p>Not saying all public schools are boring and routinized, but NCLB has really done a number on schools’ curriculums, and every teacher with whom I have spoken agrees."</p>

<p>Now I will add this:</p>

<p>We have tons of private schools in our area, but most are enormously expensive. I don’t know that we will be able to afford to do this more than two years, but they are an important two years (to get my D through the hullaballoo of middle school). She will likely go to our very fine public high school. </p>

<p>For us, there was nothing “ivory tower” at all about the decision to move her. Quite frankly, we are enrolling her in private school to hopefully rejevenate her love of learning, which has been all but lost in her current setting. Nothing elitist at all about that decision, but one made with the intellectual, social and emotional needs of our child as paramount.</p>

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<p>Background:
me, public school K-10, elite prep school as day student 11-12
husband, catholic school k-8, public high school 9-12
S1, public school K-12, PG year at private boarding school
S2, public school K-7, private day school 7-8, anticipated private day school 9-12</p>

<p>I love private school. I love the smallness, the personal attention, the values oriented curriculum and atmosphere, and I think this atmosphere is incredibly important for teenagers if it’s possible to provide it. The confidence, the self assurance, the supportive atmosphere are all wonderful benefits. I cannot deny that it is expensive. And it’s a large cost for something that is not really tangible. I know that financial aid was available for my education – and that it is theoretically available at my childrens’ schools, but how available I am not sure.</p>

<p>Some posters have said buy into the good public schools in a good community. We did that. We theoretically have that. And my younger S is in private school.</p>

<p>There are not a lot of schools to choose from in our area – lower Fairfield County. In fact, I think there are three that are commutable for us. And none of them have top flight sports teams if that is an issue. (Yes a problem for S1, not a problem for S2.) Now, if you are fortunate enough to live in the Connecticut River Valley – you’ve got several of the top academic and athletic prep schools within commuting distance.</p>

<p>In my own case, my parents spent some of my college money to get me out of a stagnating (but wonderful, highly ranked …) public school and into the prep school for the two years left in high school. How much … maybe 1 year of total costs at the state university I attended.</p>

<p>If I had to choose for my own education again … I would do the prep school for 9-12. If I could choose for S1 – I would consider boarding school earlier, perhaps. What we did worked out for him, especially athletically, which had a big impact on college admissions. For S2 – I think we are doing the right thing.</p>

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<p>We considered private school for Ss. S1 got into a private school for k-8 (1 of 3 non-sibling admitted that year). But we found an excellent public school that had pretty much the same philosophy as the private school. S1 went on to the high school and had a great education. Attended a top LAC.
S2 followed S1 to public k-8 school and had a great education, accommodated (albeit after a lot of negotiations) for advanced math and science.
We considered a local private school that was $20k and a 45mn. commute by public transport. We eventually decided against it because we could enrich without the hassle of the commute and the $20k price tag. He went to the public high school which was undergoing tremendous change with a new principal. The first two years were a bit rough, though thanks to his accelerated math/science, he was sufficiently challenged. He graduated early, is attending a top university and is doing well.
Where we live, housing is tremendously expensive. Many families are moving to the suburbs where there are excellent schools and housing is cheaper. People who buy new houses do not have children or have already made a decision to send their kids to private schools. We’ve been lucky to be living in the same house for a long time. I think both my kids got a great education in a very diverse environment.
This said, I realize that the high school does not work well for everyone. The push to prepare students, many of them ELLs, for the high stakes tests has diverted lots of resources away from the average students. They are the ones who are being shortchanged by the testing mania.</p>

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<p>I don’t think there are many public schools that can offer what a private school does. As far as diversity in the “good” public schools- that is a myth to a large degree. I attended my niece’s senior awards ceremony at her large, suburban public high school (Phila area) and we were all laughing at the LACK of diversity. There were about 3 blacks and 3 Asians in the whole senior class of about 500. My son’s private boarding school had much more diversity-including economic, by the way. The involvement with faculty members, the discussion of articles in the NYTimes and Wall Street at meals (this is boarding) and the individual attention can not be duplicated by a public school. What you give up are big Friday night football games, neighborhood friends (in some cases) and getting to rent a limo for prom.</p>

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<p>My kids went to a public school system that is economically, racially, and aspirationally diverse. Like mkm stated, what they got out of it was being part of the “real world”. Some of their friends also went to college, but others joined unions, became policemen, entered the army, got married and have kids, etc. </p>

<p>We didn’t keep them in this system in order to do that. We started there because it was a place we could afford to live, and then when we had somewhat more income, we kept them there because we like neighborhood schools, and we like the idea of one school system for all years of school–they graduated high school with the kids they started kindergarten with, which are the kids who live in our neighborhood–that kind of continuity is important to us.</p>

<p>Did they get a good education academically? Frankly, it was very uneven. They definitely went into college with less foundation than many of their classmates. But they got into very good colleges (Top level LAC, and Ivy) and they’re managing to hold their own.</p>

<p>I wouldn’t do it any differently.</p>

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<p>Although my wife and I are products of public schools, and we lived in Fairfax County Virginia, which has some of the best schools in the country, we sent our child to private school for 13 years. We did this even though it meant a long commute, and an early wake-up for him, and having virtually no friends in the neigborhood. Why? The school was unique. It was an an international school with lots of non-Americans. We wanted our child raised in a setting where he would be comfortable with learning from and competing with non-Americans. We felt raising a tolerant, broad-minded individual was the best way to prepare him to live and work in the 21 century. His choice of a college minor, Peace and Conflict Studies, I think is a reflection of his private school education.</p>

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<p>Tsdad–we were lucky. Our kids went to school with kids from Caribbean countries, Vietnam, China, Russia, Poland, Palestine, Greece, Liberia, etc etc because they were our neighbors. So we kinda got the same benefit for free. :)</p>

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<p>A school needs to be evaluated on its merits not whether it is public or private. My step-daughter and her boyfriend both taught at a very exclusive private school in our area - one to which rock stars and the super-rich send their kids. After three years, they both left in disgust after seeing how the whole system was “gamed” to make the parents think they were getting a great education for their kids. In reality far more teacher time was spent on creating the allusion of an education than actually providing a real education. </p>

<p>Most parents probably assumed that the teachers were being highly paid based on the tuition that was charged. In reality, the teachers were paid much less than public school teachers. They also actively discouraged their teachers from getting certification knowing that once they were certified that they would be immediately hired by the public schools. Even with this policy, they still have an extremely high teacher turnover rate.</p>

<p>On the other hand the reason that my stepdaughter’s boyfriend wanted to teach in a private school was that he was a product of private schooling and he loved the learning environment so much that he wanted that for his career. Disillusioned, he is now going to law school.</p>

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<p>Again, the experiences described here show that it is not possible to generalize. Our suburban schools have some diversity because of the influex of Asians but also because of METCO, a program whereby minority students from inner-city Boston neighborhoods are bused to suburban schools.</p>

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<p>I went through this with my D. Although I was comfortable with the quality of her public grade and middle schools, I was quite concerned about sending her to a big public high school, even if it was highly regarded. I felt like she would get lost, not have an opportunity to participate in sports or other activities because of the competition. I wanted her to go to a nearby small, high quality Catholic HS where she would get the personal attention from teachers I thought she would thrive on. But she wanted to stick with her friends, and I had to give in. Well, to my great surprise and relief, she has done very well: a varsity athlete from freshman year, top 10% in her class, and great relationships with her teachers. At a recent boys sporting event, she sat and talked with her AP AM Govt teacher the entire game. Further, I saved a ton of money to help pay for her college. However, now I’m wishing she’d go to a public state university and save me even more money.</p>

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<p>Garland:</p>

<p>When we were considering moving from the District to Virginia we found an area of Fairfax that had the kind of houses we liked. We looked at the data for the local elementary school and saw that it was heavily Hispanic. Not bothersome on its face. I called the principal. She said that while they had lots of ESL they had no equivalent for English language students who wanted to be immersed in Spanish so we moved on. There were a few schools in the county that had Spanish/French or other total immersion programs, but only a few. At the private school French or Spanish total immersion was required k-2 and then half-day 3-6. That was another reason why we chose it.</p>

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<p>Tsdad–well, that’s definitely different. Language instruction in our schools, frankly, sucked.</p>

<p>My neices live not far from where you were, in Arlington. It sounds like they’ve got superb public schools there with all kinds of diversitiy. I’m a little jealous of their opportunities.</p>

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<p>Arlington is very diverse. More liberal, well, most of the time, and more diverse than Fairfax. While Fairfax has a signicant number of Asian (lots of Korean businesses in the Annandale area where were live) and Hispanics (the latter are concentrated inside the beltway), but few African-Americans except in the Mount Vernon area.</p>

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<p>The belief that private high schools are rich kids havens really doesn’t hold up anymore, at least not where I live. Actually, since the public schools draw from their immediate residential area, the publics around my home are much more economically, as well as racially, “isolated” than the private high school my kids attended, where around 20% of the kids are on financial aid, and race is considered in admissions. Diversity is so much greater, all the way around.</p>

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<p>A school needs to be evaluated on its merits not whether it is public or private
Not to mention the personality and needs of the student
My oldest attended private schools K-12- great schools we were very happy with them- we had looked at public early on & while we thought there were some good programs- those programs were impossible to get into ( lottery)
Her sister attends an inner city public high school- however again a really great school. INfact many students who attended older sisters private middle school, transferred to the public for high school.( this was not for financial reasons- these families have comfortable incomes)
The reason?
The minority students who were in private wanted a bigger cohort.
THe Caucasian students who were in private wanted a “comprehensive” high school, and wanted to be with their friends.
She would have been getting much more individual attention at the private school- but her sister has 18 students in her class while she has 400. BUt I believe there is much that she is learning that can’t be measured on a test or shown by her GPA-and I know that if an inner city public school can offer this- then other public schools can as well.
It takes the whole community- parent- teacher and students working together.( as well as community organizations)</p>

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<p>Sounds like people in other areas of the country have many more options and their publics may be much less diverse. Our schools pull from high income neighborhoods where people have their own helipads to trailer parks and public housing. We also have about 20% black and a significant number of Hmong, Hispanic and Koreans children. It is frustrating though the amount of money spent on ESL while the English as first language kids do not have a strong foreign language program.</p>

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<p>Marite, I grew up in a western Boston suburb that drew in Metco. My husband went to a southern suburb that did the same thing. Our daughter also went to a western one (different than mine).<br>
The Metco kids were never in the honors, APs or pullouts. The AA kids from the innercity never hung out with the few AA kids who actually lived in the suburb. </p>

<p>Tsdad, Spanish Immersion in Fairfax is offered at Ravensworth which feeds into Poe/Annandale. These schools have lots of Hispanic and other immigrants.</p>