<p>Your note brought back a flood of bitter memories from D’s elementary/middle school days. She has positive memories of those days, however. Things were a little better in High School, and now as a college freshman she has found others who do appreciate her intellect and overlook her limitations. Kids that are “different” will tend to congregate in certain groups in college–vegetarian/vegan groups, gltb activities, environmental activitists, anime clubs. Forward focus on the excitement of the college experience with your D; I wish her success in every aspect, so that the your sadness and regrets fade over time.</p>
<p>Oh, come on, Dad II–you know you’re trapped here just like the rest of us!</p>
<p>je-ne-sais-quoi,</p>
<p>From the very brief description you have given, is there a chance your daugher might have a non-verbal learning disability or possibly mild aspergers? The socially quirky, socialy disconnected things you describe can be seen in these kids, many of whom are extremely bright. You might want to look at the NLDontheweb.org, nldline.com, nlda.org,etc. Just a thought.</p>
<p>dadII, congrats! The top end schools are affordable this year.
Thanks to Harvard, which initiatd new financial aid policy.</p>
<p>Smith, is it? What a great school. Wonderful, wonderful Northampton and the Five College Consortium. Safe, interesting and exciting communities. The most beautiful campus I ever saw, designed by Frederic Law Olmstead…</p>
<p>I don’t know who or what rejected her, but it is time to focus on who ACCEPTED her.</p>
<p>Yiddish folk expression: “With one rear end, you can only dance at one wedding.” </p>
<p>You are really lucky here. She will find acceptance and so much more.</p>
<p>Regarding the other outcomes, let it go, especially if she has. It has no bearing on the sounds heard at ten-year-old birthday parties. She’s on to the next chapter in a great college. Celebrate with her.</p>
<p>Well, My D got into all 11 of her schools…</p>
<p>Knox (w/merit $$),
Agnes Scott (w/merit $$),
Illinois Wesleyan (w/merit $$),
Kenyon (w/merit $$),
Lawrence U (w/merit $$),
Beloit (w/merit $$),
Occidental (w/merit $$),
Ithaca (w/merit $$),
Scripps (w/merit $$),
Barnard(doesn’t give merit $$),
Davidson (Haven’t heard on merit $$ yet)</p>
<p>Now she has to choose!</p>
<p>Something horrible happened to me recently and my mother was angrier and more hurt about it than I was. I had a hard time understanding this at first. Reading these posts really helps me understand my mom’s feelings better. It took over 30 years, but I finally get it. Thanks guys! </p>
<p>To je-ne-sais-quoi - your daughter sounds special - like an individual. I think there are a lot of people out there (and on here, too ;)) who can respect that. Perhaps she’s just not had many REAL peers up until this point - and I’ll bet college will change that! Best of luck to the both of you!!!</p>
<p>
Class of 2012 Acceptances: Celebrate, discuss, support here</p>
<p>Thank you for participating in our Big Thread where parents, students, or delighted observers can come and share their good news, and everyone can rejoice. This is also the place to discuss both happy and disappointing news, and to support each other in the best manner of a community like this one.</p>
<p>Please continue adding your stories or comments to this thread as opposed to starting individual threads, which would need to be merged later on.</p>
<p>The Moderators’ Team </p>
<p>I am obviously new to this. Sorry to have started a thread instead of posting on the others that are already out there :(</p>
<p>Congratulations to all you great parents for your kids’ fantastic achievements. This is the first time I’ve followed your ups and downs for a whole year and cheering for your college-bound sons and daughters (even though I admit being slightly jealous of some of you with your multiple Ivy acceptances (God, you must be on top of the world!) has helped me survive some pretty tough moments. It’s better than being a sportsfan for I felt I had dozens of teams to root for. A special thanks to DadII who made me think of John McEnroe: excessive, sometimes crazy, but totally addictive.
Je-ne-sais-quoi: it has been my experience that children, even teens, take many of their cues from their parents. If she feels that you’re disappointed, then her college will indeed seem second-rate. Show her that often the adcoms know a great fit better than the students, as you can tell from the number of posts on CC extolling the virtues of a third or fourth choice which has become the dream school.(ps: my D is a frosh smithie and it is more than great.There are many many super bright quirky and special girls there and nearly as many super bright quirky professors!)</p>
<p>je<em>ne</em>sais_quoi - I’m glad you found your way here. Your feelings are actually incredibly common, I think, and probably struck home for many. It’s hard to post negative feelings in the middle of a bunch of congrats (and likewise, it’s hard to post good news following folks who are struggling.) </p>
<p>Someone reminded me today of a thread I started 3 years ago when my oldest graduated from Penn and started working. Now he will be starting grad school next fall (while still working). Success all around. And yet, in 2001 Duke waitlisted him, and I still bear a grudge. 
(S1 doesn’t. He would say, “Duke? Who’s that?”) Your D has the thick skin many of us wish for. As she matures, I think she will develop more of a social awareness, but that thick skin has it’s benefits. My S1 also has a pretty thick skin (aka social cluelessness) which keeps him going forward when the rest of us are reeling. I hope your D lands in a place where she is accepted for who she is, and will thrive and blossom in ways you can’t even imagine.</p>
<p>My son J. made his decision – UChicago over Johns Hopkins, Macalester, and the Rutgers honors program. (Yale was his only rejection. At this point, he couldn’t care less.) He’s already sent in his “yes,” and his housing form, and I sent in the deposit ($350 down, $50,000+ to go, oy!), and have already started looking at the lists of “things we supply” and “things to bring,” and the daily menus in the different dining halls, etc. Not to mention the snow boots I already ordered for him from L.L. Bean! I know, I’m nuts, but I wouldn’t want my baby to starve or freeze, now, would I?</p>
<p>Seriously, I have a strong feeling that he’ll be very happy there. He’s a brilliant, sweet, loving, kid, and has been incredibly enthusiastic about learning anything and everything (related to humanities and social sciences, anyway!) since he was a tiny child; I always hoped he would never grow out of his enthusiasm and become jaded or burned out – and he hasn’t, not a bit, so I think he’ll fit right in at UChicago. </p>
<p>Even though I’ll miss him terribly; he’s an only child, and I’ve been divorced since he was 10, and he’s been pretty much the focus of my life for eight days less than 18 years now! But I promise not to be a helicopter parent. Chicago’s too far from New Jersey for that, anyway.</p>
<p>Donna</p>
<p>jnsq – I am still angry at DS’s third grade teacher, who actively sabotaged him at every possible turn – just because she didn’t know what to do with a shy, socially awkward, quirky 7 yo who knew more about Fibonacci sequences than she did. I hope she is alive and well in southern Florida, reading the school system’s weekly newsletter, which has included some of his successes this year. It’s not rational, but the emotions are still there.</p>
<p>DonnaL, My S may be joining yours! He is still wrestling with his decision and I expect will be for some time to come. He’s going back out there in a week and a half.</p>
<p>BTW – if your D likes math, there is a fabulous math prof at Smith who my S adores. She got him out of his shell and on his path to success through a summer program two years ago. It was a life-changing experience for him.</p>
<p>jym - I’m late to the congrats, but I’m chiming in on yours in particular because of my Tulane love affair. Dean Altiero of the School of Science and Engineering, is just the best. He headed up the Engineering School when it still existed and created the same atmosphere, along with his faculty, when DS and I visited Engineering Scholar Days a few years ago.</p>
<p>Such a great place and a parent could have a worse city to visit, couldn’t she?</p>
<p>Enjoy.</p>
<p>Donna – you are so cute! Your son sounds perfect for U of C , and an awful lot like my daughter whom they stupidly rejected (her only outright rejection, but it was her first choice so it felt like ten). FYI: We had 93 inches of snow in Chicago this year, so his L. L. Bean boots will definitely come in handy. </p>
<p>My daugther is going to visit Smith in a week so we’ll see what she thinks. One of her options ought to feel right, so that’s what I’m hanging onto for now. </p>
<p>And, yes, the thick skin does come in handy. It’s about the only time not being completely aware is actually adaptive. </p>
<p>Counting down: My daughter does enjoy math, she’s taking AP Calculus B/C (Is that right? I get the AP Calculus a/b b/c mixed up with AP Physics a or b or c. She knows what she’s doing, that’s all that matters.) right now, and getting the top grade in her class. Could you send me the name of your son’s math teacher at Smith in a private message?</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone has a son at Smith, do they? :eek:</p>
<p>Smith is a great school. My D got in there and liked it very much but didn’t end up attending. Best wishes.</p>
<p>
No, but guys from UMass, Amherst and Hampshire can take classes there!</p>
<p>Yah, I know but I must not have followed the posts well and maybe Counting Down had a son in the five college consortium? I know Paying3tuitions son attended Amherst and could take classes at Smith.</p>
<p>Je<em>Ne</em>Sais_Quoi:</p>
<p>I don’t know what is was about your daughter’s story, but for some reason I have been aware of your postings for some time now. I think it’s because you always seemed to have such a good grasp of your daughter and her interests, predilections, etc. </p>
<p>Anyway, I was sorry to read about the events of the last couple of weeks as they unfolded…HOWEVER!! I just wanted to check in at this point to say that I know Smith very well (our family lives in the area) and I have got to say that I have been impressed with so many things about the school (the professors, the beauty of the campus, the intellectual and personal quality of the students, the FOOD!, I could go on and on), but perhaps at the top of my list of “Things to Love About Smith College” is the fact that it truly does exist to educate young women in a way that a coed school could never do. It is a very special place and I hope your daughter will feel that when she comes to visit.</p>
<p>Smile Dog: Wow, what a ringing endorsement! Thanks so much for sharing your positive impressions of the school and environs. Who could ask for anything more than what you describe!</p>
<p>We especially enjoyed Herrell’s ice cream when we visited last June, but, contrary to little sister’s opinion, that is no way to judge the suitability of a college! </p>
<p>I’m looking forward to hearing what my daughter thinks of her choices after she visits each of them.</p>