Thank you both! I feel less anxious now. That’s also what he mentioned, an artist diploma, a second master or even a gap year. I could only keep my mouth shut, listen and try to comprehend since they all seemed unconventional with my very limited knowledge. Glad he had thought through all those options and I think he must have received some good advice from the industry experts. It’s so helpful to share information on this forum. Thank you all!
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Oh no, not unconventional at all! There are multiple paths after UG studies. And, one is not better than the other. It’s just all about finding the right option at the right time…and it’s best left to your “kid” and their teacher. Allow it to be flexible! For UG, everyone is going to school so it could be embarrassing if your kid doesn’t do it. For grad school, it’s very different. He doesn’t have to go next year…the door will still be open in the subsequent years.
A gap year is no shame btw. A lot of musicians do it for various reasons…not enough time to study, perform and audition…wanting extra time to build their repertoire or develop certain skills (for voice a gap year is not uncommon since the voice develops a lot year to year in the 20s)…wanting to just take a break from school, work and gig and make sure grad school is really for them…not getting the acceptances or money they wanted so taking an extra year or two to develop and then try again. A lot of development can happen outside the academic environment (with a private teacher of course) so there is no need to rush grad studies.
My D’s journey felt this way to me:
For UG auditions, she was so vulnerable and tender that I felt I needed to water her and protect her as much as possible. I had to be there every step of the way to try to assure her success. And, the students DO need help for UG studies.
For grad auditions, I was relieved to not be so involved…but still concerned about her “feelings” and how to manage any disappointment after putting so much time and money into her big dream…I figured that she would get acceptances…my fear was the cost…and having to say “no” to an expensive option…even though it had been discussed prior.
After grad school, I looked at her and realized I had been nurturing a weed! I had spent a lot of time, money and worry…on something that didn’t really need it…it was kind of an illusion that it was that much about me. It was always her! And with a BS and MM at 24, it was very easy to say…get a job! Figure it out! I’ll give you some basic help for a year…but you need to be working toward independence…bc my bank acct is closing to you. And I didn’t feel (much) concern about her feelings. She was an adult…and I figured she could manage it on her own.
Looking at your kid at 18, then 22 and then 24 (when I was already married!) is a very different experience…as it should be. Your concern for their feelings and success diminishes as your expectations for their independence grows! And truth be told, they don’t want your help anymore (well they still want your money…but that’s manageable in most cases).
Hang in there.
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If I had to have a single quote to say to other music parents, it would be that. In the end, the kids will find their way (and it isn’t just about music). I’ll go one step further, and I’ll say that with music students they have to find their own way. Music (and arts in general) are so different than doing most other things IMO, because the path is neither finite nor really well defined. To face that a budding musician has to internalize what it means to them, have a vision, and that will guide them on their path as they go down the road. Paths in this world open and close, you don’t get into one program, you navigate to another. You get into a music group, and you figure out it isn’t for you, you redirect. The only thing the potential musician/singer has is that internal vision to guide them, mentors can recommend things, we as parents can recommend things, friends can recommend things, but in the end it has to be them who does it.
Obviously as parents we have a hand early, in that we help trying to find a teacher, encourage them/cajole them to practice, have to be realistic with things like resources, maybe at times say no if something doesn’t sound right (like when my son was 11, teacher wanting him to do a music program we felt he was too young for). If there is one thing I encourage it is allowing kids agency to make decisions as much as possible given circumstances.
With Grad school,outside of things like parental financial support or not, it really has to be them. We work best as parents I think as sounding boards, let them talk it out, ask questions, but by grad school they have to be the one doing it.
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That is the way it goes. In my son’s group, they all have masters (I think one of them has multiple masters), they now have a number of post grad degrees from being a post grad group in residence at some programs. As other point out, some feel they are better off not doing an MM and doing an AD, or studying privately while pursuing their aims. The path depends on the student and their needs/weaknesses/strengths, and no two are alike.
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S has now done 6 auditions (double bass): Univ of Washington, CU Boulder, University of Denver (Lamont), UMich, CCM, and Oberlin. We heard yesterday he passed the UW audition (hooray!), but we don’t know about academic acceptance there yet. The rest of the auditions seem to be going ok, but who knows. Seeing all of the campuses, the variety of ways they do auditions, meeting all the professors, and doing trial lessons with most of them has all been fascinating and informative. It will be really interesting to see where he gets in and where he wants to go. He’s received money from 4 of the schools so far, which amuses me since he hasn’t gotten fully into a single school yet (academic acceptances but not music yet from some, and vice versa from others). He still has 2 more auditions to go, but I am enjoying the feeling of being almost on the other side knowing that the next step is to finally get full answers so we can work on making decisions/plans!
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Amtrak goes to Rhinecliff which is one of the small towns around Bard (about a 15 minute drive). There are taxis at the train station or you can use Uber. Incidentally, this is the train that students typically use to travel into NYC. Any other questions about Bard Conservatory, just let me know! My daughter is a second-year VP student.
Does anyone know which schools offer Music Therapy programs? Anyone have any info or experience with any of them? Thank you!
I know that Temple has a Music Therapy program (Music Therapy Major | Temple University). No experience with it as my kid was a performance major but it seemed like it was well run.
S performed his undergrad jazz auditions at Rutgers and Montclair State today. Both jazz programs are stacked with legit, working NYC playing faculty, and both schools seemed happy to see him. More happy than UCLA and to a lesser extent USC were a couple weeks ago, but those went ok for S not having any west coast experience. *edit, to be clear, not terrible by any stretch, but not as warm and fuzzy as NYC. USC and UCLA absolutely top three choices for S.
Oberlin next, then Purchase, then MSM and New School on the same Sunday, then NYU two days after that for an all-afternoon student/student/faculty jam audition. Then done.
Watch him choose Berklee that he got into in before Halloween… sigh.
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I PMd you
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Here’s a link to the music therapy associations search engine of accredited programs. If you click on “bachelor” 4 pages of schools show up. Plus the association website will have a lot of information about the field.
https://netforum.avectra.com/eweb/DynamicPage.aspx?Site=amta2&WebCode=OrgSearch
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One of my D’s friends is auditioning as a performance major and the professor he wants to work with teaches at Rutgers, Montclair and in NYC so this friend is only auditioning to the NJ schools with a strong preference for Montclair. His parents are thrilled with the in state price. Good luck to your son!
Best of luck to everyone traveling through the New England snow storm; 5” coming down in Boston right now. I asked my husband if NEC was still holding auditions tomorrow and he said yes. I asked what happens to kids whose flights don’t make it or driving is too scary and he said he presumes they can submit a digital recording. Safe travels to everyone- audition travels in February always seem dicey.
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Hi Everyone, S25 had his percussion performance audition at IU on Friday, and he thought it went great! He said Professor Bobo watched by sitting in a chair 2 inches away from the marimba while he played! Son loves his intensity! Now that it’s over, he believes IU and UNT are tied for him. So we’ll wait for merit from IU and any merit from UNT music school, and see what happens.
Next up this week will be WVU (had to ask for an individual audition because their dates didn’t work for son), and University of Cincinnati’s CCM on Saturday. Then he’s finished with auditions, whew!!
Good luck to all, and please be safe to those traveling in snow.
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Regarding grad applications, I was not involved. Faculty and grad students at the undergrad school were really helpful, as were contacts made at summer festivals.
We could not afford a stand-alone master’s. My kid focused on funded doctoral programs and particularly favored schools with doctoral programs with a master’s that was part of the doctoral but that students could leave between the two degrees. They were fully funded and got teaching experience and have no debt.
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All three of those NJ programs are amazing “value” for $, for sure. The campus life between the three of them varies greatly, but life is a series of compromises, right? Maybe you trade campus activity at a commuter school like William Paterson for the opportunity to have Bill Charlap be your combo leader… there are so many great jazz artists at those three schools that it might be pretty easy to find a teacher on your instrument you like.
See also Purchase.
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A friend’s kid is studying music therapy at Arizona State. I talked to the kid recently and they seem to be learning a ton and having a great experience. The kid also participates in jazz band, an ensemble for their instrument, and has done marching band and pep band at ASU.
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What instrument does your son play? Mine sent his prescreens to Purchase (jazz piano) way back in December and hasn’t heard. Starting to think that’s not a good sign.
I would call the school and ask. Could they have lost his pre screen? Sometimes things get crossed and usually by this time you would have heard I think.
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My D23 flutist did the same, she only sent Thank You emails after sample lessons, one on one conversations, or intro sessions.
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