<p>My kid said this to me just now and it seemed like one of those teenage kernels of wisdom that was worth recording. What are some of your kids’ classic quotes . . . recent or archival?</p>
<p>Starter:
“That’s the great thing about hot days is the butter is spreadable.”</p>
<p>My daughter at age 8, to my wife: “I would be perfect if it weren’t for the bad things I inherited from you and Dad.”</p>
<p>My son at seven on Christmas morning: “Santa Claus must be real! You and Dad would never be nice enough to buy me all this great stuff.” </p>
<p>I have boy-girl twins. When my daughter was about 3 or 4, she said “When I grow up, I’m going to marry Jamie”. </p>
<p>I replied, “honey, you can’t marry your brother”.</p>
<p>She looked shocked and said, “Well, I don’t want to marry a boy I don’t know!”</p>
<p>My sixteen year old to her sister “I love dogs, they’re like little people in furry suits…”</p>
<p>Son . . . between 2 and 3 . . . sitting in car his seat in the back while stopped at a red light he does that fake hands on steering wheel thing turning side to side and says, “Look mom! I’m driving you nuts!”</p>
<p>When S1 was about 13 and I complained about all the mess on his bedroom floor, he replied :
" But, the floor IS the biggest shelf in the house"</p>
<p>This I obviously don’t remember but my parents have mentioned it to me a few times before that I think is kind of funny.</p>
<p>I was something like 2 or 3 and I had a harmonica, to my grandpa on my mom’s side who lived with us at the time, I was trying to show him how to play it. But I was a little kid slobbering on it so he obviously didn’t want to put it in his mouth. I kept trying to show him how to play it by playing it myself and then handing it to him, and he would just fiddle it in his hand for a few seconds and then give it back. I apparently went and put it away, went back, and said “stupid old man it’s easy” and left. </p>
<p>D2 was not doing her homework at age 7 in second grade…</p>
<p>Me: You know, D2, when you are in 4th grade, you will HAVE to do your homework.</p>
<p>D2: Well, you know, Mom, I’m not in 4th grade, so that doesn’t really matter today now, does it?</p>
<p>It was really hard to keep a straight face.</p>
<p>Our only child when his was eight or nine. His mother and I were talking to each other at supper and we hear a knocking on the table followed by:“Hey, let’s not forget who the center of attention is here.”</p>
<p>Can I add an adult classic?</p>
<p>My husband (then fiancee) came to visit during summer vacation after returning from a mission trip to Haiti. He was showing slides from the trip to my parents and me, including some from a school they’d been helping to paint/repair. My mother, noting a blackboard in a math class, asked why they used English numbers when they speak in French.</p>
<p>3 yr old son was picking at his food at the dinner table. I looked at him and smiled and said “you know, when you grow up you will be begging me to cook.”</p>
<p>He looks me straight in the face and dead pans " yeah…for somebody else"</p>
<p>This is officially my favorite thread! Keep 'em coming!</p>
<p>My DS was about 3 when I told him to get out of the street. He replied, “Mom, I’m not in the street. The street is the black part, I’m in the gutter.”</p>
<p>Three year old son “I have naked toes”. He was barefoot.</p>
<p>My kindergartener had been learning about Martin Luther King in school and was telling me all about him. I said something about his wife and then realized I couldn’t remember her name. Out loud I said, trying to jog my memory: “ca, car, oh yeah, Coretta King!” (Pleased with myself for remembering)
“No mom” my 6 year old said to me, obviously disgusted by my stupidly, “it’s Coretta Queen!”</p>
<p>Me desperately trying to get DD to sleep in her toddler bed (as opposed to co-sleeping) at about 20 months when I was getting hugely pregnant with DS. She picked fabric and I sewed her bedding. We bought her a little stool to climb in and out on her own. Night #1: I finally got her to sleep there after many books and lots of hand holding. Night #2: “I ALREADY gave it a try. I decided it’s NOT a good place to sleep.”</p>
<p>Yes, she did get used to it and was in her own bed before he was born, lest anyone worry. I-) </p>
<p>None of my kids’ stories are suitable for mixed company.</p>
<p>Thinking I was tossing her a softball question, I asked my then 3 year-old daughter, “What color is the sky?”</p>
<p>She answered, “White. Well, really, it’s more of a gray.” She always has been astutely observant, especially in the middle of a Seattle winter.</p>
<p>My athletic son, at the dinner table, about age 10.</p>
<p>He was very resistant to the concept of a protective cup for contact sports. My own father had a football injury playing college football in the 20s. I explained to young son that grandpa (my dad) had had a very special and cutting edge surgery to fix his injury in the 50s so he could be a dad and I could be born. </p>
<p>Son said, with very big eyes, “So THAT’S why the weenie protector is so important!”</p>