<p>Hahahahahahahaaa!!! Another sports story. My D played baseball for years and in 3d grade their coach put together a “tournament team” to play over Memorial Day weekend. He added some supposed ringers who weren’t and she lost playing time - it was overall a fiasco and they were chased early. Before the last game the coaches, in an attempt to motivate, told the team that a tradition was that the kids got to “pie” the coaches if they made it to a certain point. After a sloppy loss we were home and she was soaking in the tub, pensive, and said, “I’m sorry we lost. Coach could have used a pie in the face.”</p>
<p>When my youngest was two, a changing table was too dangerous, because she wouldnt lie still.
We got very good at changing her on the bed or the floor.
Of course it led to exchanges like " dont change my diapers! Change your mind!", while we chased her through the house attempting to finish the job!</p>
<p>Three year old kid. “Look mommy a hoo-house!” Me: “That’s called a fire station.” Him: “*I *call it a hoo-house.”</p>
<p>aspirated my wine!</p>
<p>Three year old at church’s mom told me this one last night. They had uncovered their pool, and D. wanted to go in it, but his mom told him it was too cold, but they could sit on the edge and dip their feet. D tore off all his clothes and ran to the pool. After a few minutes he told his mom he had to run back to the house for his underpants because he did not want to get a sunburn on his penis.</p>
<p>D2 in sports. At age 6 she loved tball and was quite good at catching and throwing. She always wanted to play behind the coach pitcher or 1st base. The coach told her she couldn’t always play that position because the other girls needed a chance to play and chase/throw balls. She looked at him and said: Why? They are no good!</p>
<p>But he moved her anyway and she stood at shortstop or in the near outfield and watched the balls roll by. The coach told her to chase some balls and D2 replied why? You told me to give the others a chance to play and that is what I’m doing. And, see, now you also know that nobody else is any good.</p>
<p>At age 6. He put her back in the infield.</p>
<p>After a particularly long flight between Europe and the US, my then two year old daughter waited until the tow of us ( struggling with luggage and a toddler who refused to sleep on the flight ) Asked me within clear clear earshot of of customs and immigration officials :
" You’re the mom, right " ?
Like she had been coached and rehearsed her lines</p>
<p>D was a very spitty baby, so I used cloth diapers as burp rags. I referred to them as “cuddlies” – can’t recall if this was before or after D started using them as security blankets. As I was about to hand D a freshly laundered “cuddly”, I sniffed it enthusiastically mentioning how good it smelled. D took it from me exclaiming “Mommy, you smell like a dog!”</p>
<p>^Good one!</p>
<p>My S at 2.5 yrs " When do pinkies grow?</p>
<p>One of S1’s best friends was an African American boy who lived 4 houses down from us. One day when J was at our house he took his shoes off to play in the house. S2 (maybe 3 years old) gasped and said “J your feet are white on the bottom!”. J said " So what? Yours are too". S2 said " Yeah, but the rest of you is brown!" The look on S2’s face was priceless. He was stunned that J’s feet weren’t brown on the bottom!</p>
<p>S1 at 3 years old proudly proclaimed “I know what ‘church’ starts with, it starts with ‘t’”. I said “No, sweetie, church doesn’t start with ‘t’ it starts with ‘ch’.” He shook his head in disbelief asking “Well then, WHY do they have 't’s out in front of every church that I see”? He meant the cross :-).</p>
<p>A friend of ours with two kids somehow wound up in a situation (I think because of something that was heard from friends at school) where he was more or less forced to explain the facts of life to the younger boy in early grade school. After finishing the awkward explanation, the kid was silent for a little while and then said. “So…you’re telling me that this has happened twice?”</p>
<p>Our neighbor’s grandkids were playing out front early this evening. One little girl, age 5, is living there right now along with her parents helping with the neighbor who has alzheimer’s. I was just waking up from a nap in the front bedroom and could hear them playing in the bushes near the open window. The girl’s cousin was asking “What’s that for?” (the old plastic deck chair that I have there for the cat to jump down on.) The little girl responded,“That’s not our yard. That belongs to my big fluffy white neighbor.” I have to hope that she was talking about our dog, a great pyrenees. </p>
<p>Thanks for the smiles. This thread reminds me of the poem by Naomi Shihab Nye “One Boy Told Me” <a href=“Poetry Everywhere: "One Boy Told Me" by Naomi Shihab Nye - YouTube”>Poetry Everywhere: "One Boy Told Me" by Naomi Shihab Nye - YouTube; (if you want to hear her read this) or here is the text below:</p>
<p>One Boy Told Me
By Naomi Shihab Nye</p>
<p>Music lives inside my legs.
It’s coming out when I talk.</p>
<p>I’m going to send my valentines
to people you don’t even know.</p>
<p>Oatmeal cookies make my throat gallop.</p>
<p>Grown-ups keep their feet on the ground
when they swing. I hate that.</p>
<p>Look at those 2 o’s with a smash in the middle—
that spells good-bye.</p>
<p>Don’t ever say “purpose” again,
let’s throw the word out.</p>
<p>Don’t talk big to me.
I’m carrying my box of faces.
If I want to change faces I will.</p>
<p>Yesterday faded
but tomorrow’s in boldface.</p>
<p>When I grow up my old names
will live in the house
where we live now.
I’ll come and visit them.</p>
<p>Only one of my eyes is tired.
The other eye and my body aren’t.</p>
<p>Is it true all metal was liquid first?
Does that mean if we bought our car earlier
they could have served it
in a cup?</p>
<p>There’s a stopper in my arm
that’s not going to let me grow any bigger.
I’ll be like this always, small.</p>
<p>And I will be deep water too.
Wait. Just wait. How deep is the river?
Would it cover the tallest man with his hands in the air?</p>
<p>Your head is a souvenir.</p>
<p>When you were in New York I could see you
in real life walking in my mind.</p>
<p>I’ll invite a bee to live in your shoe.
What if you found your shoe
full of honey?</p>
<p>What if the clock said 6:92
instead of 6:30? Would you be scared?</p>
<p>My tongue is the car wash
for the spoon.</p>
<p>Can noodles swim?</p>
<p>My toes are dictionaries.
Do you need any words?</p>
<p>From now on I’ll only drink white milk
on January 26.</p>
<p>What does minus mean?
I never want to minus you.</p>
<p>Just think—no one has ever seen
inside this peanut before!</p>
<p>It is hard being a person.</p>
<p>I do and don’t love you—
isn’t that happiness?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Which reminds me of when I told S1 the same facts of life and he said, “You and Dad have done that?!” and I said Yes. Then he asked, “How many times?” Well, I had no idea and I wasn’t about to estimate, so I just said, “How many children do we have?” S1 answered: “Two. You’ve done this twice?!”</p>
<p>To end the counting part of the conversation, I immediately agreed.</p>
<p>They came home from the fair each grasping a water filled baggy closed with a tie wrap. Inside…the dreaded fair goldfish. Ugh. A trip to the pet store and $25 later they each had the perfect gold fish bowl set up in their bedrooms. </p>
<p>We were woken early the next morning by the 5 yr old who told us very sadly that her brothers fish had died. Reluctantly got up and followed her into her sleeping brothers bedroom where the dead fish was floating in its bowl.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until I turned and was leaving his room that I noticed the water spots on the carpet. My eyes followed the spots which became a perfect trail leading from his fishbowl out into the hallway and into her room where “her” fish was happily swimming around in its fishbowl.</p>
<p>That is priceless @mamita - it made me cry laughing AND cry crying</p>
<p>When my husband gave our youngest son a brief overview of where babies came from, he stood up, stomped his foot and said “I am adopting”!</p>
<p>The kids went to a church preschool though we are not religious. Older son excitedly told his dad, “No school tomorrow! It’s Great Friday!”</p>
<p>When my husband gave our youngest son a brief overview of where babies came from, he stood up, stomped his foot and said “I am adopting”!</p>
<p>My daughter said that also, but more because she remembered three days of hard labor before I refused to be sent home from the hospital again.</p>
<p>I didn’t know where babies came from till I was eleven. ( when my neighbor friend told me) Because the books and records my parents gave me for instruction were pretty vague.
Similar to the Berenstain bears brother & father going out for a walk and when they returned, there was mom with a baby.
:-/ </p>