<p>My D announced to me that a guy she knows through the dining hall is “officially her boyfriend.” What does this mean ? I was too embarrassed to ask her .She is 18, and never had a boyfriend . I felt I might appear too dumb to not know what this means. Is this a nice way of telling me they are sexually active? My 3 other kids are older males .What does this mean ?Or maybe they are just telling the world they are involved .</p>
<p>I would guess that it means that for any social occasion, they can assume they’ll be one another’s date without having to ask.</p>
<p>It doesn’t necessarily mean sexually active. It just means they’re a couple, exclusive, not dating anyone else. Have your sons ever had girlfriends?</p>
<p>I would also assume that some activity of a sexual nature is involved, if not actual all-the-way sex immediately in a first-time relationship. </p>
<p>I think in current terms “officially her boyfriend” means that each of their Facebook status things says “In a relationship”, and they mean with each other.</p>
<p>It could also mean that they had the following conversation:</p>
<p>“So, like, are you my boyfriend or something?”</p>
<p>“Um, do you want me to be your boyfriend?”</p>
<p>“Um, yeah. I guess. Yeah, of course. If it’s OK that I’m your girlfriend?”</p>
<p>“Sure. Then, uh, I’m your boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“And I’m your girlfriend. Mmmm.” [Activity of a sexual nature ensues.]</p>
<p>Nowadays, it doesn’t even mean they are a couple or exclusive- or even really dating. Kids can be into labels without considering what they mean. For my 2 D, an official bf can just mean they agree to put each other’s names on the FB page. Go ahead and ask her some vague question. You have to. It will give you some idea of how nutty some kids are today. You may roll your eyes. At the other extreme, if they are having sex, maybe she’ll tell you and you can do whatever feels right to you- whether that’s freaking out or making sure she understands birth control.</p>
<p>Thanks for the responses.My 3 sons haven’t had too many girlfriends ,and I assumed when they did,their was sex involved.With D I wasn’t sure,but I liked the answers you all gave.</p>
<p>LOL, JHS! Couldn’t it be possible that it’s the GUY who wanted BF status?</p>
<p>A new term (for an old timer like me) is “facebook official” and it’s when people change their relationship status in facebook. So calling someone “officially her boyfriend” might mean that it’s her relationship status in facebook.</p>
<p>For my kids, they have become “facebook official” after a few dates when they want to date someone exclusively (not date other people). It means they hang out together. I know when my son had his first girlfriend it was several dates before they actually kissed each other.</p>
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<p>This is what I would think it means, if my children were to say this to me.</p>
<p>Yeah, my D posted “in a relationship” on FB. (Then, 3 weeks later, it was “no longer in a relationship.”) That’s probably what it means.</p>
<p>Not to derail the original topic but I’ll just comment that Facebook status isn’t necessarily the whole picture. In my D’s previous relationship, she and her BF did have “in a relationship” as their FB status. They were a couple for 18 months exclusively but she chose to break it off. When the FB status was changed to single (by one or both of them), it was all too much to have a zillion inquiries (they each have a huge number of FB friends) and she decided then and there to never use FB status for her relationship status as it was just too much to have all these people asking about it when it changed on their newsfeed. D has now been with a new BF the past 13 months and neither has a relationship status on their FB pages on purpose. They are in an exclusive relationship but just not using the status thing on FB to state it.</p>
<p>My S and his friends use relationship status for other things. Their whole social group are brothers/sisters/children, and the occasional ‘married to’</p>
<p>I told S if he acquired any more fb siblings I was going to change my name to Duggar. :)</p>
<p>Soosievt, my DS and his GF of 18 mths don’t have a relationship status on their Facebook pages either. They told me that they didn’t want random people in their business. Smart</p>
<p>OP–since your daughter
Why don’t you just ask her what this means??</p>
<p>D1 is very wise, she never discloses her status on FB.</p>
<p>When D1 tells me someone is her BF, it means they are dating exclusivesly, and it’s time for him to meet her mom.</p>
<p>still laughing, JHS…</p>
<p>For my D, it is not a secret that she and her boyfriend are a couple. It’s just that when she broke up with the last BF, and “relationship status” went to “single,” it created a huge number of inquiries as it goes into the newsfeed and it wasn’t like she wanted to all of a sudden have to tell or explain it to so many people. I see she has over 1400 FB friends. She learned by experience that when you break up with someone, it doesn’t have to be announced to 1400 people. It’s not too fun that way.</p>
<p>Back to the OP though…we may all have different definitions but to me, if your kid tells you she and her BF are officially dating or a couple, it means that they are seeing one another exclusively and came to some decision to refer to themselves as BF/GF and not just going on a date. I think it is kind of a “step” in the relationship so to speak. I recall my D once telling me something like if a guy is willing to refer to you as his “GF” to his friends. After a certain period, I think dating goes onto that step of “officially a couple.”</p>
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<p>Great way to find out when your friends are getting divorced…:(</p>
<p>By the way if the kids do not want the changed status to show up on the news feed than they could click the mouse to the right of the post and it will come off of the news feed. This saves the broken up couple from getting the “why” questions on their wall. </p>
<p>The whole “in a relationship” thing is so weird today. What ever happened to things being your own business. This generation announces too many things.</p>