<p>When well over half of high school seniors are sexually active, there is an awful lot of sex not happening on this board! (or someone’s not telling…)</p>
<p>No one on this board has kids who drink or have sex! 
(except me)</p>
<p>How dare you imply that teenagers would lie to their parents, Mini! ;)</p>
<p>It’s either that or this board is over-represented by parents with unusually tame teenagers. </p>
<p>I can’t even count how many times I “watched a movie” when I was really getting up to much more eventful activities. Or when parents ask what you did, you only recount the activities until 10 PM and leave out the next six hours.</p>
<p>Who said anything about lying? Sounds like most parents make it a point simply not to know, and the teenagers are more than happy to oblige them. ;)</p>
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Heck, if you could guarantee me that good kids don’t sometimes drink and have sex, I doubt I’d forbid the sleepover.</p>
<p>When I was a teen (30+) years ago, I was actively involved in the parish Fellowhsip House. We’d run camps for Down Syndrome kids, throw parties for inner city youth, organize clean-up days for senior citizens’ yards, etc. It was also where we stashed our beer. And we were the good kids.</p>
<p>I seem to remember teenage hormones were in overdrive, as well.</p>
<p>Personally, I think you should let her. Of course, that is if you know the parents/host and are comfortable with them. But honestly, us teenagers have plenty to time to do whatever we want that we’d rather our parents not know, and if she’s not allowed to sleep over, she’ll probably just do it some other time. It’s not really something preventable, unless you plan to only ever let her go to school and back. (NOT to imply that your daughter would do anything bad, but it sounds like you’re worried she might). </p>
<p>I’ve slept over my boyfriend’s house a couple times with a number of other couples, and the ones who are sexually active actually didn’t do anything those nights. It’s just a fun time to hang out with friends and not have to worry about missing curfew. Also, those that drink never do at those times because they just want to hang out. Most of my friends actually behave BETTER at these sleepovers than any other time. Of course I don’t know our daughter or her friends, but hey, maybe they’re like that too? =)
(I’m a senior now too, by the way.)</p>
<p>Hey, I’d rather they had safe sex at home than be out drinking and driving, and finding other less savory places to express their hormones.</p>
<p>I’m sure there will be a lot of “innocent” fun. It’s only high school seniors, right?</p>
<p>The high school sleepovers around here tend be a way for kids to get drunk and get away with it. By the next morning, they’re sobered up and head back home. When they get home, their naive parents don’t have a clue that the sleepover consisted of beer pong tournaments. Usually, the sleepover is at a house with a finished basement and the parent’s at the home let it happen because: 1. They want their kid to become popular with classmates.<br>
2. They have the attitude that they’d rather have their kid drinking in the home rather then out drinking and driving</p>
<p>I’m with Stickershock (and a few others). After S1’s junior prom, a close friend hosted a coed sleep-over, but I said “no” and picked him up from the friend’s house at 1am. This was almost 3 years ago and I still don’t get the point. They’ve just spent 7 or 8 hours together; they see each other at school and afterschool as they’re all in the same ECs; and they socialize on weekends. What is it about those magic 6 hours overnight that they need to spend it sleeping together? I don’t buy the argument that they will go off to college eventually and have 24 hour access to each other. That’s college, not 16-year-olds. I’m sure I will face this again later this year with S2 and I don’t think I’ll have changed my view.</p>
<p>nysmile - If it weren’t for your screen name, I’d swear we live in the same neighborhood.</p>
<p>I don’t have a problem (in general) with teenagers having sex, I just have a problem with my kid having sex in a group in someone else’s home.</p>
<p>The “point” to it is that it prevents driving in the very late hours.</p>
<p>I’m as conservative a parent as they come. Not saying my kids never did anything wrong, but I figured by the time they were seniors in high school, most of their choices were up to them. What are we trying to prevent by not allowing coed sleepovers? If it’s drinking, then a well supervised party will prevent that. If it’s sex, we have to leave those decisions up to them because if they really want to they will find a way, and a room (or house) full of kids is not the place for that anyway.</p>
<p>My oldest just got married to a girl he had been dating for five years. They didn’t even live together before they were married which seems to be pretty rare around here. And he did attend a coed sleepover his senior year in high school. Sometimes we just have to trust that we raised them well, assuming, of course, that you know the kids well enough and trust the parents hosting the party or do it yourself.</p>
<p>I am a pretty conservative person and parent and I have to say that I have no only allowed my girls to attend a co-ed sleepover at a very trusted parents home, but hosted one myself… after my daughter and several friends ( no couples at all ) attended a concert at the end of the school year.
Girls slept in one room, boys in our motor home.</p>
<p>Proms are all night events in our area and there are always after, after prom parties too with brunch and a place to crash. Never any problems with any that my kids attended , nor where there any problems at our home.
I prefer to NOT have them on the road in the wee hours when I can assure their safety and well being a home</p>
<p>My older daughter went to co-ed sleepover party after both of her proms. I knew both parents that hosted the parties - I told them that they were crazy. They collected everyone’s car key (to prevent kids from leaving), and they parked a car at the end of driveway to prevent other kids from coming. I knew there were going to be drinking, but I knew the wouldn’t be driving around. </p>
<p>One of those parties was hosted at a girl’s grandmother’s house (estate). A year later, the grandmother called up the girl to tell her that she found a beer can in her china cabinet. The girl promptly told the grandmother it must have been her dad’s beer can - the grandmother knew there was no way anyone in her family would drink that cheap beer. I heard this story from the girl’s mother.</p>
<p>It is a fairly common thing at my kids’ school because it is a day prep school, most kids live .5 to 1 hour from each other. Most parents allow kid’s friends(boys and girls) to sleep over on weekends. But we tend to know each other well. My daughter didn’t do too many sleepovers because of her dance schedule on weekends.</p>
<p>Same in my area, nysmile. Some of the “sleepovers” in my area evolved into drunken orgies.</p>
<p>My daughter has hosted many coed sleepovers while a junior and senior in our house. Up to 7-9 kids at a time. Usually in our family room which is equivalent to a small studio with little kitchen and goes to patio for the smokers. We made sure we knew the kids and we trusted our daughters judgement. We have never had a problem and they were quite respectful. We have also allowed her to go to other coed sleepovers, but we also knew the kids.</p>
<p>I laugh everytime I read a post about a parent who allows their daughter/son to go to these high school group sleepovers because they “know the kids”. We live in a small town and we know the kids too. The kids around here start pre-K together and end up graduating high school together. Many of the parents also went to school together so we not only know the parents well but also the kids. Trust me when I say that knowing the kids doesn’t change the fact that many of these sleepovers are nothing more than all night parties which include quite a bit of alcohol. As I mentioned earlier, the “main event” tends to be a Beer Pong tournament with the hosting parents upstairs sound asleep and ping bong balls flying into plastic red cups filled with beer. The cops are beginning to crack down on these “overnight parties”. </p>
<p>PS–We knew the kids, the parents, siblings, grandparents, etc. and they were all good kids. Athletes, Honor Societies, church members, etc. Our kids chose not to go to these sleepovers because they realized that we weren’t stupid enough to believe that the sleepovers were to play board games and listen to music.</p>
<p>When the party is at my house, we don’t sleep. At all. It’s a small price to pay for their safety.</p>
<p>Yeah, my parents knew all my friends, too. They were clueless as to what a partier I was.</p>
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<p>Hey, I never said that my kids didn’t have sex as teens! I said that the co-ed sleepovers happened without a problem. I know that for a fact that three of my Ds did have sex as teens, just as most teens do. My guess is that even those who are sexually active are not doing it at co-ed sleepovers. At home in the afternoons, before parents get home from work is usually a preferred time.</p>