Coed sleepover after homecoming

<p>I trust my kids. Both of them have come home from high school parties when the alcohol came out. They’ve both told me about classmates who did drugs. I’m not naive. If they wanted to drink, do drugs or have sex they could, whether or not they went to sleepovers.<br>
They both had plans for their lives that didn’t include getting arrested, losing brain cells or having a pregnant girlfriend.</p>

<p>I don’t think parents are naive about those parties. I for one, knew alcohol was involved, hence sleepover. I was fine with it as long as it was not a large party, kids weren’t driving around DUI, and parents were somewhere around the house. My daughter had a group of 12 best friends, boys and girls. They took turns sleeping at each others house. They were so tight as a group, hooking up with someone would have been like kissing a sibling. This past summer (freshmen summer), they all got together again. There had a few sleepovers. </p>

<p>This is all about comfort level, and your gut feeling. If you do not feel comfortable having your kid sleep over someone’s house (co-ed or not), then you are right in not allowing your kid to do it. I also don’t believe in giving in just because “everyone else is doing it.” I did not let my daughter ride in her date’s car to the prom, but I did let her sleep over. That’s what I felt comfortable with.</p>

<p>My friends and I have been having coed sleepovers since sophomore year in high school. Several times the parents even let us sleep in the same room because we’re up till 4 or 5 watching movies anyway. It’s honestly not a big deal, especially after prom/homecoming night. That’s the one night parents SHOULD let their kids sleep out, if they never have before.</p>

<p>It’s her last chance at a fun year in high school and, like all the previous posters have mentioned, if she wants sex/drugs/alcohol she will get it either way. So show some trust in your daughter :)</p>

<p>Here’s a similar thread from last year: </p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/406917-dreaded-co-ed-sleepover.html?highlight=sleepovers[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/406917-dreaded-co-ed-sleepover.html?highlight=sleepovers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Oh, I remember that thread. It started off on the topic of hosting a co-ed sleepover and cycled through a number of other subjects in the next 200 posts.</p>

<p>We really never had a problem and yes, H and I were awake and keenly aware of what was going on. My D, BTW very adamant about drugs and alcohol. She does not tolerate it and does not allow anyone to disrespect our home. She has kicked them out if need be. So yes as I said in a previous post, we trust her judgement.
We were once her age, so we are not gullible.</p>

<p>OK, to me there are “coed sleepovers” with everyone sleeping in the same room (family room, finished basement, whatever) and then there are sleepovers with boys downstairs and girls upstairs – and there’s a big difference between the two. Perhaps I see the distinction because after prom when D was a jr. and a sr., a classmate’s parents hosted the upstairs/downstairs variety of coed sleepover. H & I were fine w/ it because the host dad is old line Italian and extraordinarily protective of his only D – and he spent the “sleeping” part of the night sitting in a chair in the LR, where there was absolutely no way anyone could get past him to “visit” the opposite sex. (We joked about him sitting there with a shotgun across his knees.) As an added measure, both of host girl’s older, out of college brothers just happened to be “visitng” on sleepover night. Under a different set of circumstances, H & I may well have said, “No” to the whole thing.</p>

<p>Wow, I had no idea my post would elicit so much converstion. Thanks to all for your insight. </p>

<p>I guess it comes down to:

  1. We do not know any of the boys…D has chosen not to invite them over even though we have asked her to do so
  2. Don’t know the parents that well, what we do know of the mom from a few short converstions is that she is a nutcase.
  3. D has shown bad judgement over the summer in hosting a party with drinking while we were out of town with this same group.</p>

<p>So yeah, I guess I would need to volunteer to have the party myself! </p>

<p>I am not so naive as to think that I can prevent her from drinking/drugs/sex if she choses to, but I don’t think that we should condone an party that would put her to be in a difficult situation to do something she may/would regret later. </p>

<p>I think if we did know and trust the parents, and most of the kids it would be different. </p>

<p>As to the Niagara Falls part…I’m not concerned about anyone falling in, or going over a cliff. The guardrails are pretty stong :slight_smile: They will probably spend their time in the wax museums and the giant ferris wheel, maybe Hard Rock cafe.</p>