<p>Son wanted to have a coed sleepover and was not happy when I said no. I was wondering if coed sleepovers are a new part of high school life or if this is an anomaly? Have you had any at your house and how did they go?</p>
<p>My sons knew better than to ask me if they could have a co-ed sleepover. I never saw any reason to put kids into that kind of situation. Unlike many parents, I still have a very clear memory of the raging hormones that exist at that age.</p>
<p>To my knowledge, co-ed sleepovers aren’t common in my area, but even if they were, my sons knew that they wouldn’t be participating in such things. H and I had no problem with being considered uncool. We expected our kids to stand up to peer pressure and knew that for our kids to be able to do that, we had to be role models, demonstrating in ourselves the same behavior we expected from our sons.</p>
<p>I let my oldest daughter participate in one after her senior prom with her friends that she (and I) had known for years. I’m glad this was not a commonplace thing among any of my kids friends, but I was fine with it for a special occasion and parental supervision. Among my son’s friends it’s more normal for the boys or girls to go home around 11 or midnight and then the same sex kids to spend the night.</p>
<p>I hosted a co-ed sleepover at my house in 1982, when I was a HS sr. It was the best way we could coordinate the timing of our senior prank. :p</p>
<p>Having said that, I don’t think I’d allow my kids to have one. </p>
<p>There has been one night when frosh D had her friends sleeping in the basement while jr. S had friends sleeping in the office above the garage. They all wanted to share the basement “because that’s where the TV and games are,” but I said no. “How come, Mom? It’s not like we’d DO anything. They’re freshmen!” Still no.</p>
<p>Of course I got the same “We’re just friends, nothing’s going to happen” line from ds. Ah, it’s always something…</p>
<p>I wouldn’t say they are common, but both my sons attended co-ed sleepovers after the prom both junior and senior year. The bus/limo driving their large group of friends delivered them all to one home, where they stayed. Hats off to the parents who hosted these events.</p>
<p>My DD (senior in hs) was invited to one in her freshman year by one of her best friends. I let DD go to the party, but she was not allowed to spend the night nor were a couple of her other friends. DD’s friend who had the party ended up getting caught by her father in bed with a boy (their clothes were still on) and that was the end of the sleepover.</p>
<p>I still remember what it was like to be a teenager with the raging hormones and I would not put my DDs in that position.</p>
<p>like others, the only one my D participated in was the night of her senior prom. the group was small with no real “couples” and the host family went out of their way to provide tons of entertainment and food. but up until that time, no, absolutely no coed sleepovers!</p>
<p>D2 has attended 2 co-ed sleepovers–one was after a Prom at another school (where after-parties are common) and another was the “seniors in band” graduation/last concert celebration. </p>
<p>I was dubious about the first sleepover, but I was very impressed by the young man and his parents had more concerns than I did and really vetted the whole situation. Second sleepover was no problem–these kids have been band geeks for years. </p>
<p>Of course, this was my second D. I found that I was a lot more lenient with D2 than with D1 (which still chagrins D1 to this day).</p>
<p>At least at my son’s college (and group of friends), this seems to be very common in the dorms.</p>
<p>They watch a couple of movies late at night in someone’s room and then everyone just crashes there.</p>
<p>It’s not so new that there haven’t been discussions like this periodically for at least the past five years.</p>
<p>Both my kids (now in their 20s) hosted and attended sleepovers with both boys and girls in attendance when they were in high school. In my daughter’s case, I don’t think many (any?) of them were planned, it was more spur-of-the-moment “let’s all crash here” stuff. In my son’s case, they were generally planned, either around a movie marathon (where everyone would fall asleep watching movie #3) or around getting up early to attend a Magic: The Gathering tournament. </p>
<p>We provided a separate room for the girls when my son was hosting (at the request of one girl’s mother), but sometimes no one made it out of the TV room. In my daughter’s case, there was only one boy who participated, and we didn’t make a big deal out of it if he wanted to sleep in the same room as six girls.</p>
<p>We knew all the kids pretty well. There were never any couples, or proto-couples involved. I am confident that there was no sex happening. That just wasn’t who these particular groups of kids were at the time. (Sex and Magic: The Gathering tournaments are known to be negatively correlated.) In any event, our latchkey kids and their latchkey friends had so much opportunity for hanky-panky if they wanted it that they sure didn’t have to go to the trouble of having a sleepover with their parents around for that.</p>
<p>Mainly, it was just cute. I liked making breakfast for them. I wish stuff like that happened now.</p>
<p>After high school graduation & the after party( this was a small class) the class slept at a classmates, ( boys mostly on another floor) and parents made them breakfast.
After the final theatre production for the year, they often also had coed cast parties, which turned into sleepovers, since many students didn’t have cars and they went on into the morning.</p>
<p>She also had friends who were boys stay the night at home, while she was in college ( they visited her at college as well)</p>
<p>When she was in high school, they also had coed sleeping arrangements
( actually this started in grade school- I will never forget when as a 1st grader and new to the school- the whole school stayed in cabins at a Seattle area park at the beginning of the year- she was hesitant- but I was not prepared to stay with her- but no worries- one little boy told me I could sleep with his dad! ) 
* I declined*</p>
<p>I also was told when she was a junior in high school, that she was gay- so that kinda put the whole worry about coed sleeping arrangements in a new light.
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<p>Co-ed sleepover is quite common at our kids’ school. The reason is most kids live more than half an hour - an hour from the school. Some kids could be as far away as 2 hours from each other. Most of the time it’s with a small group of friends, where parents know most of those kids. D1 didn’t do it that often because she just didn’t enjoy sleepovers, single sex or co-ed. She did that a few times after a party senior year. We never hosted one because there are other kids with bigger houses.</p>
<p>My kids went to plenty of co-ed sleepovers - they didn’t sleep, or sleep much. It was just usually staying up all night playing video games or watching movies.
They were all in the spring musical which involved an all night cast party - all night since it didn’t start until 11 pm.
They had them after other special occasions as well - prom, Christmas Ball etc.</p>
<p>LIke JHS said - they were latchkey kids as well and had plenty of other time for hanky-panky if they were so inclined.
One big reason for their popularity is driving laws. In PA you can’t drive between 11 pm and 5 am with a junior license. Instead of trying to get paretns to pick them up they would all just crash at one house.</p>
<p>The principal of our kids school explicitely asked us NOT to host co-ed sleepovers for the 4 years of high school during a meeting with the frosh class parents. She said that obviously it can’t be a school rule, but she strongly discouraged us from doing this. I have often wondered if there is some story behind it that I just haven’t heard… D1 did go to a couple of sleepovers where a couple of boys stayed over. But one of the boys was openly gay, and the other wasn’t my D’s boyfriend… so I figured no harm for her.</p>
<p>Same situation as Oldfort. My kids have friends that live up to 2 hours apart. On top of that, our state driving rules don’t allow kids under 17 or having a license less than one year to be out past 11 p.m. The thought of these newer, young drivers driving late at night tends to scare me more than having them all crash/sleep in one spot. </p>
<p>Again, there weren’t really any “couples” involved…just a bunch of student leaders/band geeky types. Girls slept in one room, guys in others. While I trusted them, I don’t think I slept until 4a.m…when they did…just the nervous nellie in me…which happens when we have any overnight guests. </p>
<p>And I agree with JHS…if they really want to have sex, they’ll find a way, with or without the pretense of a sleepover…</p>
<p>Biggest concern for me was that I don’t know some of the kids. If I did, it would be a different story. Plus if it was a cast party/prom after party that would also be no prob.</p>
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<p>Yep - here is one of them! </p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/406917-dreaded-co-ed-sleepover-6.html?highlight=coed[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/406917-dreaded-co-ed-sleepover-6.html?highlight=coed</a></p>
<p>After D’s prom both junior & senior year, one of her friends had what I guess you’d call a co-ed sleepover – except the girls slept on the 2nd floor and the boys in the finished basement. The only way even this worked for H & I was that the host girl’s father spent the night sitting/snoozing in the kitchen, which was the only way to get between the 2 sleeping areas. (Think of dad protecting his youngest child/only daughter w/ rifle across his knees …) 
</p>
<p>While H & I are not naive, and know what can (& does) go on once kids get to college, we’re of the “what happens at school stays at school” mindset.</p>
<p>I was horrified to hear about this years ago when my kids were young (it was one of those things my child was NEVER going to do). But she did attend coed sleepovers after prom and homecoming. The events were always well supervised so I didn’t have a problem with it. But I don’t mention it to my friends with younger kids.</p>