"… I offer congratulations to those who will receive the holiday gift of acceptance. Good for You. Your hard work and well-targeted application paid off!
After celebrating, share the love by thanking those who helped you, especially your parents, college counselor, and recommenders; stay on the rails academically and behaviorally; then your offer will still be valid when it’s time to pack for college.
On the other hand, for those who experience the pain of deferral or denial, it might be time for what psychologists call Reality Therapy, that, according to Psychology Today, ‘focuses on improving present relationships and circumstances, while avoiding discussion of past events.’
I am no psychologist, and beg the indulgence of those who are as I play one in this contribution, doing so out of concern for the profound stress that some seniors feel at this time each year." …
https://www.forbes.com/sites/christeare/2017/12/07/college-advice-early-decision-as-reality-therapy/#3d5035311971
Profound stress is an understatement. And it seems to me some colleges mitigate it and others dont. For example some have easy to use portals clear instructions and helpful admissions depts. others lose your ACT scores, unexpectedly request quarter grades when the website says semester, and never update their portals.
For those suffering from profound stress or depression (disappointment) due to deferral / denial from your “dream school”, take a deep breath and know that things will ultimately work out. The reality is, regardless of your criteria, there are many schools that will meet most of your “must haves” and your one dream school would not be exactly as you imagined.
It’s not that different than your first major relationship break up. At first your devastated. But eventually, some sooner than others, you move on and find someone who you like even more.
My S had his heart set on a certain school. He had a very competitive profile for that school; one that you would categorize as a solid match. We looked at many other schools and they were “fine” but he just wanted to attend this specific place. About this time last yr, first came deferral. Then a two to three month wait and then came denial. He was pretty disappointed. But then he got serious about his other options and when acceptances started flowing in, he got really excited. He went with his new number one and hasn’t looked back since. He loves it and would likely tell you it is probably a better match than the other one now that he knows what college is all about.
It will hurt. It will get better. You will find a great place to call home for the next four yrs!