College Confidential Etiquette

[ChangeTheGame]

@CheddarcheeseMN Again, for me, being African American was more important from a role model/representation perspective. My interpretation of what the OP was going for was talking about his family’s process (timelines, importance of essays, getting fee waivers, etc.) which are not always about his son’s URM status, but it is always the “elephant in the room” because URM status is what most on CC want to talk about, especially when it comes to college admissions. The OP wasn’t asking for help, but sharing his story of some things that students of all races with a low SES background could do to in college admissions.

@lookingforward said: “the thought process that anyone not sharing what I ask of them is not worthy to be heard.” But that’s also saying, anyone who needs more info is somehow not properly respecting the OP. Breaking etiquette. Really?

CC is a discussion forum and it’s difficult when some OPs self edit or self restrict to the point where a discussion is crippled. There are certain key bullets that are needed, for others to both process what you are saying and then give relevant feedback. My own feeling is, if you don’t want go there, in the first place, then reconsider the original decision to start the thread purporting to tell your journey, but skipping various details.

We are going to have to agree to disagree… On an online forum a poster can talk about what they feel comfortable talking about. I am not upset that someone asked for more info, but after asking repeatedly, and being denied politely several times, what was the point of requesting the same information over and over? The OP was not asking for anyone’s opinions on his family’s process. You are free to give those opinions and ask questions just as he is free not to respond to those unsolicited opinions and questions asked. But the mods had to jump in so whether you call that “etiquette” or something else, something went off of the rails with that thread.

@lookingforward said: There’s a lot that that original OP thread stated that, to me, shows some incomplete understanding. Eg, the idea that, as long as there are safeties, one can defend applying to hundreds of reaches. Or that this is all about what the kid likes and wants, without regard to what he’s qualified for, in those targets’ minds. “His preferences dictated.” Very common on CC, as if a badge of honor. But while you can choose any targets you wish and knead them any way that makes them seem reasonable, in the end, it is the colleges which choose their admits. Not how much you want them, you approve of them, but the reverse: how much you get them to want you. That takes a lot of understanding. More than the limited info in the CDS.

I have talked to the OP directly and he probably understands more than most on CC about college admissions. He knows the conventional wisdom on College Admissions that is spouted on a daily basis on CC and wanted an unconventional plan built around his child’s wants and needs. Sadly, I am not sure if any of us will see the final results of that plan.