OP here. I definitely didn’t expect anyone to say that these were bad. Just wondering how widespread a phenomenon it was. And here the day is organized by the kids not the school. And it’s on the last day of school when attendance is not taken for seniors ( all they do is hang out and pose for pictures) so if it bothered someone they definitely wouldn’t have to come to school that day.
My twins’ high school did have a “college T-Day” and I’d estimate that over half the kids didn’t participate. Many kids didn’t make their decisions until the last few days and didn’t even have a t-shirt or sweatshirt from the college they planned to attend and possibly some didn’t have extra money to spend on a college T-shirt. Although this is a middle class area, about 20% of the students were on the free lunch program. My kids did have sweatshirts but never wore them at their high school and the majority of their friends didn’t either.
I don’t see how you can compare an official award ceremony that recognizes a particular school accomplishment with swanning through the halls in your college shirt. Surely we all know that there are lots of variables beyond skills and talents that pave the way to particular admissions–the ability to be full-pay, connections, legacies, the proverbial oboe playing, dumb luck–and that the name on one’s college tee tells you nothing about the person inside it. When did parents stop teaching their kids about humility?
Except, as I understand the tradition, it’s not really about celebrating everyone’s next stage, only those fortunate enough to be able to go on to college (or who have decided to enter the military). Are the kids who can’t afford college invited to sport their Home Depot aprons or grocery store vests so they can be celebrated too? How are you celebrating the kid who’s going to be asking your kid if he wants fries with that when s/he comes home on winter break (and probably for many years thereafter)? We’re fortunate to be able to send our kids to college. Many, many people can’t. It wouldn’t hurt to show their children a little compassion.
"When did parents stop teaching their kids about humility? "
When did every kid start getting a trophy just for showing up? Shouldn’t those who didn’t get the Golden Ticket be happy for their classmates, be learning to take their disappointments as an adult, reflect on the fact that life isn’t fair but maybe their grades and scores just weren’t good enough for MIT or Vandy or even State U? I really doubt that there are that many kids who are ‘humiliated’ by having to go to State U rather than Stanford and that someone else in the class did get in and is wearing the VERY shirt that he wanted to be wearing (and that the kid from Stanford is ‘strutting’). Many kids have probably been wearing the shirts since they were accepted, but wearing them all on the same day is a celebration.
I think there is probably a lot more jealousy among those at the very top of the class, the one who missed being valedictorian by .01 point or wasn’t awarded the history prize or didn’t get to be first chair in the orchestra because those students are competing head to head- usually with their friends. Many posts in this thread have said the academic awards should be celebrated openly, that Sally got a Coke scholarship or Mike a NMF. The kid going to SDSU probably doesn’t care that someone else is going to Smith or Yale or Berkeley and wearing a tshirt that says so.
There are “plans” with each kid’s picture posted in the school on celebration day and The kids choose what they wear so yes attire showing where they are working is welcome. I agree with twoinanddone that kids can be happy for others without being “humiliated”. If they cannot it is to time to learn to take pride in their plans whatever they will be. After all, no one can make you feel inferior without you consent.
How is this any different from an atheist or Jew having to sit through a public school graduation ceremony listening to someone praising Jesus? It is precisely the situation where most take part and only a small minority do not or cannot that this becomes a problem.
I am suddenly glad my daughter attends an average general high school instead of a competitive high school or a high school in a very competitive neighborhood. There is a day when seniors can wear a t-shirt with the logo of their chosen college/university but itt’s not mandatory. There are seniors who do not participate. There are underclassmen who wear college t-shirts that day because they don’t know about this thing. I don’t know any students who would be offended or hurt by seeing a t-shirt belonging to a reach that rejected them… I do know parents who would be miffed but not students. Then again, there is such a range of students in this high school (35% go to community college; a handful will go to top 20 schools), everyone is really just happy for their friends. As for people, they don’t know or outside their immediate group - eh.
FWIW, D and a friend both got into Cornell - she into Cornell College and he into Cornell University. They had great fun with that on college decision day. The key is, if the student is happy with his or her choice, things are fine. He/She can handle seeing t-shirts of reach schools that rejected them or where they would never apply in the first place.
How do you all have t-shirts from the colleges by May 1? Do you buy them when you visited schools? I’m curious, because son didn’t have any.
@bookworm, I think that’s a major reason why some seniors don’t participate. They simply don’t have the t-shirt yet. D ‘won’ hers when she visited and answered a question correctly. I think one school sent her a (huge) t-shirt with the acceptance package.
@FCCAD What about a student-led fundraiser for a cause that someone disagrees with (but the majority of the student body supports)? Should there be rules prohibiting expression just because a few might disagree? If so forget about Homecoming Week or the Prom. Every school is going to have at least a few who aren’t just disinterested in participating, they don’t even want to hear about it. And not a few parents who disagree as well.
On the other hand, perhaps being one of the few who happens to disagree - with College T-Shirt Day, or hearing the name of Jesus, or the Pledge of Allegiance, or Prom - gives a student great practice for the real world. It’s impossible to ban everything that you don’t agree with - good luck trying, you’ll probably be known as the least pleasant person in the office. Furthermore, EVERYONE is going to see or experience something that he/she disagrees with. It’s inevitable in a society that values free speech. So perhaps this is a great opportunity for those few to practice tolerance and respect.
I’m just waiting for the graduation prayer from a Satanist. I’m sure no one would say that’s any different from the Xian prayer.
The point is that it is organized to glorify some students over others and not for any actual achievement. You got val or sal? Great you earned that. You get to go to a good college and I cannot? Lucky you; no need to rub my nose in it. Wear your shirt when you want to, but don’t have a day where you socially segregate those who do not get to go. Not when I am required to be in school.
I do believe my S wore his navy blue t shirt that just said “college” in white letters, a la Animal House. LOL.
"When did every kid start getting a trophy just for showing up? "
In our area, the kids who may not be going to college are the same kids who were not able to get a trophy just for showing up because their families couldn’t afford for them to participate in any EC’s.
I’m not generally “over-the-top PC”, but to me, this tradition smacks of elitism and I am glad our schools don’t participate (our current college kid is attending and playing his sport at his dream school so disappointment at options is not the basis for my feelings about this). I guess I’m not much for a lot of school traditions either as I find they often breed complacency.
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“When did parents stop teaching their kids about humility?”
Presumably about the same time they stopped teaching children the fine art of being happy for other people, and that envy and bitterness are not admirable traits.
@FCCDAD If a student is 18, he/she is welcome to show up that day or not. If the student is younger than 18 the parents can speak for the student excusing him/her from the event and the school would have to mark it as an excused absence. Problem solved.
Our school creates a Facebook where u can list where you are going to school. Toward the end of school they make a map of the schools noted, and list names of people who participated. Kind of nice for the underclassmen… I saved it so I know who my Jr could call if she decided to consider a school where a Foothill grad had gone.
As I sad earlier they don’t do that at my kids school and they send well over 90% onto some form of high education. I just think high school should just be about high school and not college. It already bugs me that kids spend an entire year of high school focused on “college.” The whole process starts too soon and lasts too longas if high school is some sort of thing like pre-school was only this is senior year as pre-college… creating some tradition just takes it to another level that is not necessary. Kids do wear college t-shirts, from places they visited as well as places they will attend at the kids’ high school, but I don’t think there should be ‘one day’ where everybody but x, y z participates. What do the Gap year kids do…go buy a Gap brand t-shirt? It’s silly to think that all kids go from grade 12 to grade 13 with no break in between and with a college graduation rate nationally that still hovers in the 1 out of 2 will actually graduate in 6 years, high school isn’t about college…it’s about high school.
I would suppose that kids taking a gap year would wear whatever they usually wear-- just like the kids who are going to do anything else other than college, as well as kids in other years and those who don’t want to take part. (Though my daughter would probably be the one in the Gap sweatshirt just because she’s kind of a smartarse.)