As a spin-off to another thread…Does your kid’s school have a college decision day where the kids wear the “gear” from their chosen college. Ours does. And of course like everything here, it’s over the top.
While the boys limit it to a t-shirt from the chosen place, the girls go “all out.” Shirts +caps+socks+hair ribbons+ leggings or tutus (yep…really), shoelaces etc… all in school colors.
Unlike some places though ours is not May 1. Instead it’s on the Seniors last day of school (Mid May)
At our son’s school, all boys school, they have a “Right to Bear Arms” day on the last day of the third quarter where the seniors rip the sleeves off their dress shirts, get their ritual detention and then can either wear college gear or a regular collared shirt (no more ties) the rest of the year. They also have “Bling” day on May 1 where everyone wears as much of their college gear as they have, but the big one is when they rip the sleeves off their dress shirts. I don’t know what they do at my daughter’s all girls school yet.
My daughter’s HS celebrates May 22nd. They all wear T’s or hoodies. They have a big bulletin board where they put up their senior pictures and their college.
Thankfully, I’m not aware of any widespread traditions like this in our schools. We tend to be less stratified out West.
With all the discussion here in which sentiments are bruised by the mere mention of success and achievement, I can only imagine what sort of horrors a determined display of it would cause.
I don’t remember there being one. What a way to make the kids who can’t afford to go to college feel bad about themselves. A little humility isn’t a bad thing.
May 1 the seniors wear their college shirts. Public school in a NYC suburb. 98-100% of students go to college.
Yes, but which ones?
I don’t see why a decision day tradition needs to be humiliating. At my son’s school, they have a lot of “spirit” days where the guys can wear their high school colors in lieu of shirts and ties, and I think the Bling day is just a carry over from that. Each of the kids should be able to express a little pride and show off what comes next. Of course, we are in Ohio, and don’t see a lot of the behaviors/concerns revolving around college admissions mentioned frequently on this board. Some kids are going to very selective colleges, but the majority of the most academically inclined “chase the money” and are headed to schools with good merit scholarships. Most of the normal student body are headed to the large state schools and are perfectly happy with that option. I am sure there are a couple kids who are bummed out by the college process (one kid in my son’s friend group in particular is having a hard time because he was convinced he was headed to the Ivy League or one of “those schools” and got denied/waitlisted everywhere). But even in those cases, it is not like it is a big secret where kids are going to school.
Kids wear the t-shirts on May 1 here as well. Very high percentage of kids go to college and many of them work very hard for that opportunity. There are college-bound kids that don’t participate, don’t have a shirt yet, forgot their shirts, or just aren’t into it. The kids all already know where most of the other kids are going since they all talk about it A LOT and have a facebook group. The tradition is to finalize the decision and celebrate their hard work. It is one day out of the year. The varsity athletes wear particular clothes on game days, the theater kids their t-shirts on days of the shows. Kids that didn’t make the team or get a part are certainly reminded of that a lot more than the kids who are choosing to do something other than college are on May 1.
The kids celebrate everyone, whether it is Harvard or local U. They should all be proud of graduating and moving on in life. Believe me, if kids feel bad about themselves over college it is not due to the wearing of the shirts.
Is it really unacceptable PG to never celebrate anything anymore because someone’s feeling might get hurt?
At the school my kids went to as freshmen, full uniform required, they were allowed to wear their college sweatshirts instead of the school sweatshirt once they were accepted. Come April and May, no matter how hot it was, those seniors were wearing the sweatshirts. Except on Wednesdays, which was Mass uniform day.
On Decision Day, mine would be the ones wearing the ‘KALE’ sweatshirts.
At my kids’ school, there is a big paper banner on which kids draw the logo of the school they will be attending, and then all the kids attending that school sign by the logo (if they want to).
I think it’s unacceptable to create traditions that are hard for people to avoid but make some people uncomfortable.
How many kids still have to make Mother’s Day cards in school even though their mothers are dead or haven’t been seen in years?
How many kids still have to submit baby pictures to be printed along with their graduation photo in a yearbook, even though adopted children often don’t have baby pictures of themselves?
Some thoughtful school systems have dropped traditions like this because they hurt some people’s feelings. I think the same sort of consideration should be applied to college decisions. I don’t think that a tradition like the one at Hunt’s kids’ school (full disclosure: one of my kids went to that school) is particularly harmful because it’s easy to opt out inconspicuously, but if the tradition is one that makes the nonparticipants stand out, is it really appropriate?
I’ve never heard of this and I’m glad. I don’t think this is a big thing on the west coast, at least not at public schools. We are in a pretty diverse area and while my kids’ high school is more affluent, there are still plenty of kids who are very limited in their college opportunities. I think it would be a pretty humiliating day for a lot of kids and am very happy our school has chosen not to do this!
My high school had no such tradition, thankfully.
I’m not big on traditions as it is. I’ve never understood the appeal of doing something just because that’s what everyone else did before you.
In a world full of disappointments and hardships, this seems pretty small potatoes. Why have graduation if it makes kids who didn’t finish unhappy? Why have prom and post pictures in the local paper since it makes the kids who don’t get invited or who don’t have a group to sit with feel bad? Why post any “good news” on kid’s accomplishments since it is going to make someone else feel bad? Where do you draw the line?
I am very supportive of attempts to be inclusive and not make anyone feel bad unnecessarily. At some point, however, you have to accept yourself (or your kid) for who they are. Every kid should be proud of graduating and of their future plan, even if it is undecided or going to work. The attitude that a kid should hide their plan, if it is not going to an elite college, seems to perpetuate the idea that college is the only path. Again, at least in our HS, the kids that would participate already know what most of the others are doing. With a class of over 400 kids and with grades levels mixed in most classes, it is not as if every single kid in the hall or cafeteria is wearing a college shirt.
On May 1st It is College Tshirt day for both seniors and teachers.
“but if the tradition is one that makes the nonparticipants stand out, is it really appropriate?”
Well, that’s an interesting question. What happens at HS graduation when they call for the Valedictorian to come forward and give an address? All of a sudden, everyone realizes that this one person achieved something that none of the other 400 students sitting there did. They all had access to the same classes and teachers, but only one attained that position.
What if the Val refused to step forward, in recognition of all the other students who didn’t achieve a 4.0?
My school does college t-shirts day about a week or so before May too. This is a tiny magnet school with 100% college-bound rate, so there’s literally no one to make uncomfortable. (It’s technically supposed to be “post-hs plans t-shirt day” to be inclusive of military or work-force related wear, but like I said, everyone’s college-bound). That, and a lot of people forget to wear a college shirt anyway.
We also hand-draw a poster with all the college logos. It goes up May 1 for seniors to sign their name by the college they committed to. It’s cute.
I’m not one of those “give-everybody-a-trophy” people. But I do think, at a certain point, some sensitivity and detachment are valuable. College admissions is not a sporting event. I live in an affluent Northeastern 'burb where many people are extremely cranked up, determined to win the parenting prize through kid competition, from the day they arrive at the labor and delivery unit. I think there’s too much pressure on kids and their parents to make college plans based on prestige, as understood (or misunderstood) by high school classmates and their parents, as opposed to an honest assessment of the fundamentals – the kid’s true aptitudes and interests, and the whole family’s long-term financial interests. There’s also a lot of pressure on the public schools to look, feel and act like private prep schools. A lot of this is meant to maintain the housing values in town, which keeps the homeowners voting “yes” on the school budget. I have seen 10 foot long banners taped in high school hallways in the winter, each one trumpeting a single kid’s early decision outcome. (The big group photo in the bleachers with everybody in their college shirts is the least of it.) It all makes it harder for the kids who are ordinary mortals to stay optimistic about adult life. So the traditions that feed the frenzy are probably not needed or helpful here. I gather (through CC) that it’s not like this everywhere.