Does anyone actually WEAR a college ring? My FIL did, but he is of a different generation. He insisted his sons get them (both in their 60s now), and neither ever wore them. I agree that my kids would completely roll their eyes at the idea. A lot of this stuff is a business racket (just like weddings, funerals, etc) – it is easy to get taken for a ride for a bunch of stuff that is very short-lived and no one really wants.
My S bought the ring during the freshmen year and he wears it. My D bought nothing. Both of them did not care about the diploma. My son’s diploma already had the binder given by the college, so no need for frame. My D’s disploma was sent home two months later. She did not want to bring it with her. It’s oversized and is still in the thick envelope on my counter, and I don’t know what to do with it.
We had parties only for parents and kids in the restaurant - 4 persons. We gave each kid money for the first month rent.
Depends on the college’s campus culture and individual students. They are popular at some colleges where there is a strong tradition…especially Military oriented colleges like VMI or Citadel. In many professional and social venues, I have seen many folks from colleges with strong traditions with class rings wear them on a regular basis.
However, other colleges like Oberlin didn’t really have such strong class ring traditions and the ethos of the campus culture was such that most classmates would be aghast at the mere thought when I attended in the mid-late-'90s*.
Personally, I didn’t bother getting a college ring, but I do have my HS class ring as a momento of sorts. I don’t wear it regularly except on certain occasions only because the type of work I do is likely to risk severe damage to it and the computers I work on a regular basis.
- Likely regarded as a materialistic relic of someone aspiring to be part of the corporate establishment in the minds of most college classmates during my undergrad years.
When I think of class rings, I think of Frank Underwood. Knock knock.
Don’t be surprised that that person will ask you to extend the room reservation for his/her own vacation and all the room incidental costs including happy hour drinks, in-room dining,… will be charged to your credit card.
Just say, “sorry, no,” about anything you didn’t plan to cover. There is NO need to feel ANY obligation.
The only cost we incurred was a catered lunch afterwards at our house. We live within 45 minutes of UMich where both graduated. We probably had 40 people of whom 20 attended the ceremony. Graduation at the Big House is not boring. Some people go even when they don’t have a graduate. Having a sitting president give the speech in a stadium that holds 100,000 while military helicopters fly overhead is kind of entertaining. Tickets were hard to get but my boys got few extra their friends didn’t need until we had enough.
No announcements, rings, yearbook or any other fluff. Having been purchasing Spirit Wear for every gift giving occasion since though.
I would most definitely not cover anybody elses travel. A nice meal should be sufficient.
I don’t think it’s the norm either to pay for others’ hotel rooms, but everyone’s families and financial circumstances are different. We also did have 2 rental cars to get everyone around. The family members staying at a downtown hotel used Uber to get to and from “our” events and that was on them.
Really, outside our immediate family, we only paid for one extra hotel room and that was for the two ladies to share. It was a huge deal for our housekeeper to travel to Boston, where she’d never been, and to see a little girl whom she had helped care for graduate, with all the pomp and circumstance. I certainly wasn’t going to tell her to buy her own plane ticket and book her own room. It was our pleasure.
Redeeming miles for tickets also enabled me to “own” the luggage spots coming back, as D had 10 bags and they were now all free.
Come to think of it, my FIL (in the same hotel) did extend his stay by a day to catch up with relatives, and the others in the other hotel did as well to sightsee Boston. No one thought for a minute to “put that on our tab.”
As for class rings, I think of them as an old thing, not something young people do.
I don’t think it is expected that one would pay for everyone’s room and board. Would you pay for your guests to a wedding?
When my niece and nephew graduated from college, my sister used her points to get rooms for us.
To get a room/house for the graduation weekend at my kid’s school one needs to book one year ahead of time.
Here’s my helpful hint though- the day before D’s graduation, I was chatting with the mother of a friend of hers and I asked what time to get there (outdoor ceremony, no assigned seats). I don’t remember the times, but let’s say it started at 10:30, I was going to get there at 9 (I’m an early bird by nature). She said - oh no! You need to get there much earlier to get good seats - maybe something like 7:30 am. And bring tape to mark off your seats! This was good to know - so I made pieces of paper that said “reserved for the x family,” my mom and I got there at 7:30 am, the lady was right - we were hardly the first, and we were able to get great seats. We would have been out of luck if I’d arrived at 9 am.
So 3 weeks later, S’s graduation - now held in a stadium. I had similar pieces of paper and got there excruciatingly early - even before the stadium opened. There is a small section of seats that have backs (vs bleachers); I put the signs down while I waited for the rest to arrive; the ushers helped “defend” them against people who trotted in late and thought they were entitled to my good seats - well, if they’d wanted those seats they could have gotten up at the crack of dawn like I did, lol. Had the best seats in the house! And I did that both days as he had a two day graduation (full university, then arts and sciences).
I’m sure this will be “controversial” that I reserved seats by taping pieces of paper to them, lol. Other early birds did the same and we all chatted amiably in the meantime.
We did not pay for hotel rooms for people attending. If someone said that to me, I would think they didn’t really want to attend. We did pay for dinner the night before and lunch after the ceremony.
I didn’t really invite anyone to the kids graduation. If they wanted to come then that was great. S graduated in a small town and hotel reservations had to be made a year ahead of time for 3 days minumium, my IL’s came (my H graduated from the same school and they hadn’t been since his graduation). They stayed in our room and it was awkward.
For D’s graduation, the IL’s and my sister and family came. She went to school far away and I didn’t want to obligate any one. But we pay for meals. We were really poor after paying for school and I would not have paid for hotels.
The only people I remember wearing rings were TAMU graduates or service academy people. Rings were a big deal for them.
We did not send out college announcements or buy anything related to the graduation. We paid for our hotel rooms and took each son out for a very nice dinner with the whole family the night before graduation. After graduation they both had parties to attend. One son’s party was “open” to parents and we stopped and had a couple beers with the kids and the other parents. The kids didn’t come home after graduation so we stayed an extra day after graduation and did some family time. Both kids’ graduation was “open” no tickets required and outside. Non of my siblings came (H has no siblings) and one of the boys graduation coincided with my siblings step-daughter’s graduation so we established no tradition of attending each others kids’ graduations high school or otherwise.
Honestly, back to the OP - a ring, a page in a yearbook, graduation announcements, a frame - those were never on the table in the first place. So no “savings” to be had by eliminating things that weren’t happening. It’s like saying I “saved” by not flying via private jet!
The one thing that is a mandatory that I didn’t see was paying for graduation robes/ attire.
Depends on the school - for my daughter - the robes are free (well not really, I did pay tens of thousands in tuition over the years which I assume helped pay for them)
Neither of our kids purchased yearbooks.
We didn’t purchase an ad or a class ring.
Both colleges included the graduation invitations/announcements with the graduation cap and gown rental.
We bought nice thank you notes at the Hallmark store.
DS has his diplomas in the nice leather folder they came in.
DD was given a nice diploma frame from her university employer…very nice gift.
DS had a recital dinner…we paid. And a reception after the recital…we paid. And we also hosted a breakfast the following day for all those who attended. We were the only ones at his graduation…recital was more important.
DD…we hosted dinner the night before. Everyone stayed at the same B and B so we all had breakfast all days together. We hosted a poolside luncheon and an after graduation dinner for everyone…about 12 people (they had all travelled 3000 miles for this event).
We did NOT pay for hotel rooms for anyone else, not even the grandparents. For DS, we gave a list of choices. For DD we reserved a whole B and B until a certain date…and folks had to book their own rooms. It was not particularly expensive and was VERY nice.
If we could have rented a whole house, like Oldfort did, we would have done so. This was not an option at either site.
Graduation present from us was the same for both…repayment of their Direct Loans.
ETA…we paid for siblings plane tickets and lodging for their siblings graduations.
D’s graduation fell at the beginning of Reading Week for S and we told him - we totally understand if you want to take a pass. He became practically indignant and said - I wouldn’t miss it for the world! I’ll bring books along and study during downtime! I was really touched. We had a great time at both graduations – our weather was perfect – and it was a special moment for our family.
Both kids went to school 5-7 hour drive away from home. Immediate family were the only attendees. I have boys so they did not want rings or yearbooks. I did have to pay for the robes ($50-70 depending on the school) and I purchased fancy diploma frames ($200). An out of state state school added a fee for graduation too. I think it was for the lovely brochure. I didn’t run into this, but some hotels have a 2 day minimum for both graduation and football game weekends.
Adding…because of the travel,distances for DSs recital weekend, and DDs graduation…we made a weekend out of it.
We did not send announcements but I did let my side of the family know when graduations were and that they were invited. I paid for some meals and hotel rooms.
As @kiddie said, the graduation attire is free but not really if one paid a fortune in tuition over four years.
I would, happily, pay for the ring and yearbook if DD wanted these things.