Apply broadly then. Have safeties (I really don’t like that word choice) but schools that you would be happy to attend that have easier admission rates. One thing also you can do is check some schools on here when acceptances are announced. You will see a full look at who is getting accepted and denied. Sometimes it makes no sense. Applying to a range of school’s is a good strategy. I had my kids apply to school that they wanted to but they also had to research some schools and apply to schools much further down the rankings up to 50 or beyond. What happened with this excerise was finding really great schools that also gave great merit also. For my daughter her experience at Beloit College was fantastic on every level for her. Plus fantastic merit to boot. Win /win.
Horror story? As in “my friend was rejected from Dartmouth and is now working the fry machine at McDonald’s”? Or “my friend was rejected from Dartmouth but is at Bates and is still mad” or “My friend was rejected from Bates and is slumming it at Connecticut College” or “My friend was rejected from Connecticut college and horrors- had to go to Muhlenberg, her safety”.
Admission ‘horror stories’ can happen if:
– An applicant has a “dream school” that is very competitive in terms of admissions and would consider any other outcome a failure;
–An applicant focuses on only hyper-competitive “big-name” colleges and would consider any less prestigious outcome to be a failure;
–An applicant does not pay attention to fit (academic, social, etc.) when considering where to apply.
–An applicant does not spend the time and energy needed to write thoughtful supplements for each application.
–An applicant focuses on unaffordable college options.
SO don’t do those things. You really need to craft a thoughtful application list that includes reach, match, and safety schools that appear affordable and that you would be excited to attend.
I think a lot of this stems from the often strange results of “holistic admissions” and colleges acting on their own priorities rather than the applicant’s definition of merit.
I was once “yield managed” by what should have been a safety school. I was pretty angry about it for about 5 minutes.
My D26 has a top choice school where she KNOWS that she will be competing with 2 legacies from her own high school. Worse, one of the legacies has a mom who WORKS for the school. It is not fair, but I let her know that life isn’t fair. She could apply, but she should expect that the legacies will get the nod over her.
People need to understand that randomness, bias, unseen forces, odd university priorities and limited human judgement will affect you. Sometimes it will HELP you. Sometimes it will HURT you. Just apply to enough REALISTIC schools that you would be happy to go to and everything will work out in the end.
There’s also the horror story of “my well balanced application list consisted of the 8 Ivies, MIT and Stanford. Dartmouth and Brown were my safeties and Cornell and UPenn my likelies. My grandpa had said any school would be lucky to have me and my uncle said UPenn was a shoo-in because he was accepted with a lower GPA and much lower SAT (35 years ago). And now I’m dealing with an unplanned gap year”.
I agree with you. They can be “horror” stories for a 17/18 student. I would rephrase it as “Unrealistic” expectations.
Use the Common Data sets for schools your applying to. Look under the “C” section. That is the holy grail and should give you a more realistic view of their admissions. Then times that by like 40-90,000 applications.
When your ready make another thread with your scores, GPA, ECs and what major and schools your thinking about. Many on this thread are elite at helping students. Go to your school counselor and see what colleges have better admission from your school also.
I know a few of these-- but one step down on the food chain. The Mom is insisting there was a mistake because “everyone knows that anyone who can pay full freight is a walk-on at Northeastern and GW”. She’s like Snow White- asleep for the last 20 years!
Of course, yes, this is business and nothing personal. And that is what I have told my kids, word for word, before decisions arrive. And they look at me like I have two heads until slowly it sinks in.
But, I don’t say it when essays aren’t yet written and there is self-reflection in process for the purpose of making the essays authentic and personal. The personal, at least as portrayed in the essays, indeed is a part of the admissions process at highly selective schools. So, it is somewhat irksome to say that the decision is nothing personal, when if they’re writing their essays well, it’s absolutely personal.
Don’t get me started on the Why Us essays. I wonder if colleges realize that their outsourced marketing mailers sometimes use the exact same language as other colleges presumably using the same consultant.
I have read successful essays before-- as I have posted many times- where the most “personal” aspect of the essay was a kid “revealing” that he worked in a supermarket. Period. The rest of the essay could be funny observations about working with the public, wry humor about the crazy “Leave Nothing on the Field” rah rah rah of the assistant manager, or poignant observations about juggling demanding schoolwork and a job which is not at all demanding intellectually but hurts your feet and back.
The essay does not have to be a therapy session.
Read Calvin Trillin’s masterpiece about his parallel parking technique. It is read, reread, and cited by non-fiction instructors for its structure, its humor, its ability to take the hum-drum and turn it into high drama, and for the innovative use of language. And then he wrote an updated version which is a howler.
It is not therapy, self-revealing, or personal. It’s just a great piece of writing and when the reader is done, they are thinking “Wow, I’d love to meet this guy” or “I wish I had students like him in my class” or (me) “why can’t he come to Thanksgiving instead of the dullards who show up at my place looking for a free meal?”
None of us can be Trillin (or any of the other great essayists of our time.) But a kid doesn’t have to burden himself with “letting it all hang out” to craft a great college essay. And it’s STILL not personal. Trillin may not even have a driver’s license, but it doesn’t matter.
That’s a great point that it’s not a therapy session. And needn’t, maybe even shouldn’t be, deep, or reveal secrets or weaknesses. But, what I mean by “personal” is showing something about how you think, as in, think through some situation. How one thinks, perspective, seems super personal, in my opinion - a glimpse inside the student’s mind. There’s an old saying about throwing a pile of essays on the floor, if someone who knew you picked up yours, would they know it - that’s something personal.
While an entertaining essay could be fantastic, I doubt most kids are writing highly entertaining essays. In my opinion, writing evoking a sentiment like “wow I’d love to meet this guy” is showing something about the writer’s personality, which of course is personal.
I suppose there is some question as to whether the purpose of the essay is the writing itself or to communicate something about the student and perhaps this differs by college.
“highly entertaining” is a high bar. Shoot for “mildly entertaining” if personal type writing is too difficult for a particular kid. Or even aim to provoke a slight smile.
This is not tryout night at a comedy club. It’s a chance to demonstrate something- humor, commitment to a cause, patriotism, love for the arts, obsession with stamp collecting, interest in learning to bake bread, skill at playing jacks or jumping rope- even as a HS kid, why you think Civil War re-enactors are cool (or dumb), etc.
So many kids set too high a bar. And then end up with a dry essay which was a bore to write and a chore to read. If a kid has always wanted a dog, but their apartment building doesn’t allow animals, write about that. What is it about dog ownership that speaks to you?
Done and done. Not a therapy session. Just a lighthearted “my biggest disappointment in life is the super and management company of my building who refuse to let me fulfill my most heartfelt wish.”
I agree with everything you said about essays. I am fortunate enough to help out on cc being an essay reader. I have helped others “live”. I have read some stunning essays this year. Some with humor but not overdone. Others though they were trying to hard. I questioned in my mind AI on a few and asked the student to sound more like an 18 year old. Lol. Once they did they and their English teacher agreed it was a much better essay. No question some kids can flat out write well. But I look to learn something about the student. No question when you read a good essay you want to know more about the student.
This is personal though. Not a therapy session but even talking about wanting a dog and why is far more personal than many conversations one will have with a colleague at work. If it was about what major the student wants to pursue and why, that would not be personal since that would be relevant to what a student is planning to do at the college just like a manager might ask a job applicant why they applied for a given job and what their goals are. It would be odd for a job applicant to rattle off a story about the greatest disappointment to date in life has been the inability to own a dog due to living in an apartment unless the bit was followed up by but this job will allow me to relocate and finally get that dog that would hopefully come across as humorous rather than odd. The reason the rejections feel more personal is because the colleges questions can come across as personal.
I’m dismayed by how many here give these colleges a pass for the use of “It’s nothing personal”.
That belittles the applicants and dismisses their hard work and personal investment.
That phrase “It’s nothing personal” is a form of gaslighting that should not ever be used. There are more constructive ways of writing an application rejection.
I agree completely with you about what, and how, to demonstrate things in an essay. I just think that those things are personal. I think that’s the entire point of the essay.
I think you are reading my comments in a more literal sense than I intended.
So don’t write about dogs. Write about-- literally anything. But the assumption that it’s the topic that makes the essay is erroneous in my opinion. It’s why the “We lost the championship but I gained self-respect” trope is so overdone. It feels like drama; pathos; self-knowledge so what could go wrong, right?
I don’t think colleges really use the phrase “it’s nothing personal”. The OP is currently applying and hasn’t received any letters yet either positive or negative. They are not being literal.
I’m actually not reading your words in a more literal sense than you intended. You provided an example and I explained how it was personal but that too is merely an example. I could likely explain why many of these essay prompts are more personal than one might expect when applying to an academic institution.
Fortunately, I was able to learn about the application process not just in America but also for the UK and for Ontario recently. The American application process for some top schools - note this isn’t for most schools just some of the most selective - often have questions that are of a more personal nature than applications from other areas of the world, even if one is applying for top schools in those countries. The application for the UK does ask for an essay but the essay is based on why a student wishes to do the major they declared and what experience and preparation that student has along with some mention of extracurriculars. However, the last part is meant to be a small aspect of the overall application and is not about what the student learned from the experience or why they pursued these interests.
The same with Ontario. Even when the school has supplementals, the questions are very much on the nose with regard to the program such as explain what your experience or interest in computer science might be. Students are not asked to write about topics that really aren’t relevant to their academic record or relevant experience in their area of interest. A dog story or a humorous story about parallel parking or something a student learned about the human condition while working in a pizza shop just doesn’t come up. Ergo, the answers are less personal as they say nothing really about the student outside of their academic interests and backgrounds for such and I don’t imagine students in those countries would take rejection personally. Same likely for students only applying to CSU’s or state schools that only ask questions such as why are you interested in pursuing your intended major at this university such as Georgia Tech or Purdue or some other top state schools. I expect a rejection from most of those would not feel personal either.
I think what they are saying is “this is not a reflection on your value as a human”.
Yes, for most of us, not being selected for something-- even something we didn’t particularly want – carries a bit of a sting.
If you’ve ever had to put together a limited guest list for an event, you know how this works. There’s someone whose invitation needs to be returned, you need to make sure your brother’s friend isn’t the only single person there, you can’t invite both Friend A and Friend B because they don’t get along, etc. Friend C who is coming from out of town would be delighted if Friend D is there.
Coming up with 12 guests who will enjoy each other’s company while meeting all of your other goals just might mean you can’t invite your friend from down the street. It’s not personal!
Remind yourself that you are the same person whether you are admitted or not. If you believe you can do great things, nothing has changed. OP, sending you a virtual hug. This is what half-pints of ice cream were made for!