<p>From personal experience, never compare the school to the older brother or sister’s school–especially when it’s negative.</p>
<p>Oh, and “It’s not as bad as I’d thought” is not a compliment.</p>
<p>I love the story about the mom who laid her hands on the building…hilarious.</p>
<p>Washdad,</p>
<p>My daughter does prefer when the parents on the tour ask questions. She’s given tours to high school groups and says those are very awkward.</p>
<p>Are we up to #19?</p>
<p>“If you want everyone to know that this is your first college tour ever, be sure to occupy the tour guide for 20 minutes with your follow-up incredulous questions about co-ed bathrooms.” </p>
<p>Mostly I walked alongside silently, but sometimes indulged in ONE question when the tour fell silent. It was a shill, open-eneded question not a data-point-factoid. I figured the tour guide needed a platform, so said stuff like “What surprised you most when you got here?” and “What was the biggest adjustment to campus?”</p>
<p>I did once derail a science-major tour guide at Brown who pointed out a sophomore dorm. I asked him if the roof slumped. (I was seriously tired and
was punning on “sophomore slump.”) He got very interested, turned and studied the building looking for the roof slump. My S thought that was a terrible thing to do to the tourguide, so after that I didn’t play with them anymore.</p>
<p>My kids wanted me to come along, however, because we processed the tour together afterwards, having heard the same stuff. That was very valuable to them, they said. Process means, I asked them, “What did you think when he said that…” and take it from there. Process isn’t telling them what I think all the time. I have my degree already; it’s their turn.</p>
<p>Recognize that a bad tour guide, can really sway both yours and your prospective freshman’s opinion. We had this happen and found the local coffee house/hang out. We were able to find a student who looked willing to sit and chat. Gave D a chance to get a regular “un-canned” version of the tour.</p>
<p>One friend routinely asked if the school was a pot or a beer school. </p>
<p>He’s English. Different sense of humour.</p>
<p>Colleges should separate the boomers from the kids–as the private high schools did during those admission sessions. My sons found the boomer’s questions incredibly annoying–superfluous to the info on the website and not relevant to their concerns/interests. Also, they hardly expected to hear the truth when boomers asked guides penetrating questions about the social scene–and that suspicion was confirmed by their one on one lunch time tours.</p>
<p>But to each his own.</p>
<p>If you get a Harvard tour guide that’s female and about 5 foot nothing, it might be my kid…</p>
<p>As a tour guide, I’ve got to say that I <em>love</em> when parents ask questions on the tours - because the students almost never do. 1 hour straight (how long the tours are at my school) is a long time to take up with talking, and its nice to break and deviate from the standard spiel we’re supposed to spout with an interesting question. Usually if we separate the students and the parents (which we do occasionally when the groups are big enough) the kids are much more likely to ask questions - you’re not going to ask if you can get alcohol easily while your mom’s next to you, generally :-).</p>
<p>In terms of asking tour guides personal questions re: drinking/partying etc, I think it puts the tour guide in an unfair position. Most of us aren’t supposed to tell you that yes, we’re incredibly hungover this Saturday morning while we’re leading you around the campus, and usually, at least at my school which isn’t a dry campus, parents get up in arms sometimes when they hear alcohol isn’t forbidden entirely, let along hearing that I drink. I’ve been asked before and even if you personally end up being okay with the answer, there’s probably a diverse range of opinions on the topic, and in a group of 15 people, guaranteed one person is going to throw a fit. Also if it gets back to the admissions office, we could lose our jobs. Just limit your questions to the general with sensitive subjects like that, and (at least me personally) I try to be honest about the character of the school.</p>
<p>I’m busy keeping my mouth shut around ADMISSIONS people. I can’t also be expected to keep my mouth shut around student tour guides. </p>
<p>DD rarely asks questions. So I let her pretend she’s not with me : ) and THEN I ask my questions. Never more than two on any one tour, though. Even I have to draw the line somewhere.</p>
<p>MaryTN, students were still sleeping Sat at 11:00! College students don’t get up until weekends 1:00 if they can help it!</p>
<p>This is pretty funny. I would only add a few, as a former tour guide:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Ivy League tour guides meet a lot of families where the PARENTS love the school and the kid would rather be anyplace else on earth besides H/Y/C/etc. This is usually obvious, and it’s very challenging for the tour guide. Try to limit the number of schools you drag your kid to against his will.</p></li>
<li><p>Don’t treat the guide like a hostile witness under cross-examination. It’s 100% fine to ask the guide questions that might have unflattering answers: “Is it hard to get the classes you want?” “Do full professors teach freshman classes?” “What’s your least favorite thing about this school?” But it’s not OK to treat the guide like she’s a liar who needs to have the truth dug out of her: “Who ACTUALLY teaches the classes – grad students?” “How come so many students here kill themselves?” “You were a legacy, right?”</p></li>
<li><p>It’s been said before, but it’s really rude to ask your guide what her SAT scores were or other intimate personal information.</p></li>
<li><p>When the admissions office gives you information, TAKE IT. I don’t know how many time parents called in the morning to ask for driving directions, and I said, “Don’t try to drive here, there is no parking at any price, park at the XYZ subway station and take the train”…and then the family would arrive an hour late and yell at <em>me</em> because they missed the info session: “There’s no parking here! None! Not at any price!! We drove around for an hour!!” And I had to smile and say, “Well, we’re glad you finally made it here” instead of “I told you that on the phone, jack@$$.”</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Pay attention to Point 1. :)</p>
<p>On one of our tours the guide pointed out the “Alternative” dorm. One rather loud dad asked what kind of kids lived there. The guide gave a really nonspecific answer involving “alterative preferences” or something. The dad then loudly suggested , “Gee, that sounds interesting. Maybe you’d like that, Angela,” as the poor kid tried to disappear into her shoes. If looks could kill, Dad would have been interred in the Quad. ;)</p>
<p>i went on a tour of a school that i wasn’t expecting to like much and fell in love with it…my mom joked that it was because that was the ONLY tour i went on without her…and it might actually have had something to do with it. it can be nice to have the chance to form your own opinions before parents come into the equation.</p>
<p>i almost choked on my food when i read the whole “mom putting hands on the buildings thing” hilarious!!!</p>
<p>We went up to register son for one Ivy tour–whereupon adcom announced that they didn’t register tourists–or prospies. A more disgruntled looking group of over-striving boomer parents you’ve never seen. One friend told me that her family hated the school. Did you take the tour, I asked? I would have hated the school too if I had toured with 30 grumpy wanna-bees. </p>
<p>Instead, we bought breakfast in the coffeeshop, wandered around the surroudning area and lounged at the fringe of the one of the quadrangles. </p>
<p>After he found out it wouldn’t count as ‘interest’, S skipped the tour and went to a 90 minute class instead–which he loved. We loved the fact that an Ivy prof was gracious enough to let him into a junior level class–pretty much thinking that would be his one and only opportunity. S came out and made a beeline for the bookstore–he had to buy the textbooks then and there.</p>
<p>Even though it was a super-reach-long-shot–that particular app was—SOLD! Even semi-VIP treatment at another of his favorites didn’t push that classroom experience off it’s pedestal.</p>
<p>don’t ask questions about minutia- </p>
<p>how the eating plan works and if you want to change it, blah blah blah</p>
<p>how the laundry works</p>
<p>when applications are due</p>
<p>when is the last day to drop a class</p>
<p>how big is the student body, etc</p>
<p>or </p>
<p>does ths school do ED or EA</p>
<p>if you care about the school you would have a clue on the basics</p>
<p>those questions made me insane</p>
<p>I stayed to the back, sometimes my Ds wanted me closer, and generally, if they weren’t as interested, they fell back in the pack, but if the school had a chance, my Ds were up close to the guide</p>
<p>And don’t ask about every major on the planet, these tour guides don’t know, and can’t know if there is a scuba class every other Saturday either, or exactly how many try out for the dance program</p>
<p>I love this thread. I hope that some admissions folks have a chance to read this. </p>
<p>Advice: do not correct a guide that keeps using big words- incorrectly. Not sure if/how we should have helped her with that.</p>
<p>We gave high marks to the tour guides that walked backwards for the whole tour and gave out great info at the same time. (Univ. of Redlands had the best.). </p>
<p>Another suggestion. If you are touring colleges in California during summer, sign up for the earliest morning tour. No college looks appealing when you are melting.</p>
<p>Asking questions is fine, just be careful not to ask so many questions that other parents start to give you dirty looks. If you would be ok with other parents asking as many questions as you ask, then it’s probably fine. </p>
<p>Please, please never ask us incredibly personal questions. NEVER ask a tour guide about their sex life or drinking habits. Please. The tour guide is only one student, and really, your child’s experience may be entirely different. Asking about the school as a whole is much more informative anyway. </p>
<p>Please never ask what our SAT score was, our GPA, what we think got us in to that school, etc. We have no clue what the admissions department is looking for since we are just students. We can guess, but there’s no reason to believe our guess. Ask admissions representatives, not us. Please. </p>
<p>Also, please be understanding if we don’t know all the details about a particular event, club, major, etc. There is a lot going on at large universities, and we do our best, but we can’t know about everything. </p>
<p>Most parents are fine on tours. I don’t think I’ve ever given a tour where a parent was a problem, although I certainly here stories. The main complaint I personally have is parents who ask about admissions requirements. If other parents all start giving you dirty looks, that’s a good sign that what you asked the tour guide may not be entirely appropriate. </p>
<p>Also, please understand that although we do want to give you a honest, sincere picture of what our school is like, we do represent our school and are usually asked not to volunteer what we don’t like about the school. I do my best to represent my school accurately. It’s not perfect, but it really is a great place to be. If you have particular concerns about aspects of a school that may not be incredibly positive, you can ask after the tour as well. Usually we are more comfortable talking about the negative aspects of the school at the time. Be aware that we may be on our way to other classes, activities, etc. at that time though.</p>
<p>“12) When they won’t get out of the car because one of the school buildings on the campus annoys them, avoid the words “I drove all the way up to freakin’ Medford MA and you didn’t like the CASTLE?””</p>
<p>Hahaa… I actually did this… made my dad drive me all the way to Oberlin from somewhere else in Ohio and wouldn’t get out of the car because I got bad vibes from looking at the music building. I realize that I probably should have gotten out of the car, but I reallny didn’t feel good about it and did’t feel like taking the tour. His reaction was a lot nicer, but I laughed when I read this ‘rule’.</p>
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<p>No way. The tour guide at Harvey Mudd walked backwards the whole way – in flip flops, while keeping up a charming and informative monologue to a group largely made up of taciturn boys.</p>
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<p>If you were my kid that would have been the absolute last help I gave you in the selection and application process.</p>