Did our first lowkey college visit in August with D28 but have five visits scheduled in the next 8wks all to schools that could be in real consideration. Mix of big, medium, small. Public and private. Reach, target and safety. Regular tour/info sessions and full preview days. All on weekdays when the colleges are in session.
Obviously tip number one is to hang back and let student take the lead. That being said, what best tips do you have for what the parents could be listening or watching for that student might or might not pick up on? How can we maximize whatever value we have to the student in terms of information gathering?
For me, I found the biggest factor was finding the right time to debrief with my kiddo — for her it was usually the next morning. It was long enough for her to have considers things, but not so long that they faded. So the routine we got into was to first immediately after the visit have each of us provide three words or phrases we associated with our tour experience (didn’t matter what it was: one was “cat followed us around”), and then try to have any larger discussions the next morning. And for us the biggest thing was looking for red flags or big reasons to remove something from the list — not trying to fall in love or rank or whatever. But if something was problematic, to get it out in the open and talk about why/what, so we could use that new perspective for subsequent visits.
Even as a parent, don’t be afraid to ask questions although maybe after a session or to a tour guide 1:1.
Info sessions are boring. They’re mainly the same. They all do study abroad, all have a Qidditch and a cheese club and all let you start your own (which mine did). They all have research opportunities, etc. If they tire, do them only at demonstrated interest schools. At some you can tour sans info session. Or many have apps with self guided tours.l so you avoid the canned session and tour which get boring.
Interested in a club ? Tell admission and they’ll help you set a meeting. Or reach out yourself. Same with an academic department of interest.
Walk campus on your own. Stop kids to chat. Most enjoy that. Walk the surrounds. Walk from a dorm to class to measure distance. Eat in the dining hall. Sometimes admissions will give you a pass.
Most importantly, the minute you step off campus -camera out -ask their impressions and drill to the why - ask questions to draw out answers. In 3 months they’ll have forgotten what I liked or didn’t and it’s hard to include them in the consideration set. You want the info and raw emotion - of campus size, people, aesthetics,food, the neighborhoods - whatever - so you can play it back.
One other thing - don’t make days long l.if you can do one a day it’s best but sometimes not realistic. But I find the later one is less likely to be liked because they get bored and tired which leads to a worse attitude.
Literally do not ask any questions as a parent. I would look around at the students. Are they having fun, are they greeting each other, do they look happy?
I agree about looking around at the students and seeing if they look happy and engaged. Eat lunch in the dining halls if you can and bonus points if your kid can sit in on a class.
Sometimes you have one about financials or diet etc. parents ask. It’s ok. But I did mine after 1:1. Same with your question. It’s not a big deal. Many do.
Bear in mind that you can try to set up additional interactions in advance. If there’s a particular major or extracurricular activity that your student would like to know more about, ask the admissions office if they can put you in touch with a faculty member working in that area. If admissions doesn’t respond or gives a non-answer (“we’ll have to look into that, not sure…”), look on the website and reach out directly. D26 did this with great success, setting up a lengthy zoom call with a tenured faculty member that went very well. I think the connection with that faculty member was likely a major part of her being admitted to a selective school.
For undergrad, we said nothing. Not a peep. We didn’t ask our kids questions, and only interacted with them if they initiated the conversation. I will say, prior to visits, we did have conversations about colleges, and our kids sort of vetted their colleges some before the visits, but all before applications were sent.
For professional schools, I know my kid kept a notebook, and wrote down at least one positive about each place. Also things they wanted to remember.
I think this is a time to know your kid and what they might want. Some want to chat about the visits. Some just don’t.
Try and narrow down preferences early on. It’s extremely easy to get burned out on visits. I echo the dining hall. I think it gives a better feel for the vibe of a place than any info session. If certain extracurriculars are important be sure and include them.
Encourage your student to write their thoughts down about the visit soon afterwards. They don’t have to show it to you. After multiple visits and time passing, the schools/visits tend to blend in with each other during recall. Of course, we tried this with both our kids and they did not do it, but maybe others will
My best advice is not to offer any opinion on the college until after you hear the student’s opinion.
We viewed this as some of the last big road trips taken with our kids. Try to mix in some fun non-college related activities when possible (ex. a nice dinner together).
We created a google doc for visits. Before each visit, we read the Fiske guide write up of the school together. Then, we asked our D26 to tell us one thing she hoped to learn from the visit. After every visit (sometimes later that day, sometimes the next day) we did pros, cons, and things we want to know more about for each school that was not off her list based on the visit. If someplace was a no, then we just wrote down the reasons why and whether there was anything she liked that that school to pay attention to at other places.
D26 found the google doc valuable both for narrowing her list of schools and as a reference on what interested her about the place, when she was applying. Of course, after the visit the school she ended up choosing to attend was at the bottom of the list of schools she ended up applying to, but it made the list and eventually climbed its way to the top.
I don’t disagree with the advice about checking out the dining halls, but on the other hand, my kid absolutely did not want to eat in the dining hall with us or sit in on any classes, and it was fine - I wouldn’t recommend pushing the issue. Although, on the other other hand, in the two cases where he did eat in the dining hall with a student, he dinged both schools, one based on the food and the other based on what he saw as an athlete/non-athlete divide.
What really worked for me when I did college tours with my S24, and for that matter boarding school tours with my D30, was to borrow a framework from a thread here. Before I said anything, I would ask them, “So, same, up, or down?” And then we would discuss whatever they had in mind.
Only once did I take a more active role, when after visiting I really thought a college was not a good fit for my S24, and fairly early on I expressed that view. But even that was after asking him to talk first. And otherwise, I tried to be a combination of travel agent, sounding board, and Ask Jeeves (RIP).
We also waited until D gave her opinion and thorough assessment before giving her ours. She also took notes. We toured most places her junior year so it ended up being helpful for her “why us” essays to look back on her initial impressions.
. One of the best fits for D26 on paper moved way down the list after she got a weird vibe from the general atmosphere of the dining hall.