<p>Don’t #20:
Do not drag your child along on a tour of a school when your child has made it extremely clear s/he has no interest in this type of school (women’s college, religious school, Big 10, rural, urban) and then spend the whole tour badgering the tour guide with questions designed to show that College X is "not really a (women’s college, religious school, Big 10, rural, urban).</p>
<p>I toured predominantly women’s colleges back in the Dark Ages and every single tour had some variant of Brooke and Brooke’s mom. Brooke would show up, flick her long blonde hair, sigh and announce to the tour guide and other parents: “I’m only here because they’re making me do this. I have a boy friend and I’m very social and I would never go to a women’s college.”</p>
<p>Brooke’s mom then spent the next hour quizzing the tour guide about whether she had a boyfriend, whether her friends had boyfriends, what percentage of students had boyfriends, where they went on dates, whether they dated on weeknights or just weekends, whether cross-registration meant that Brooke could live in a coed dorm at the other school, etc.</p>
<p>Similarly, kids who want an urban environment who tour Middlebury. Mom then spends the next hour asking about the availability of public transportation, how much it costs to get to New YOrk, Junior Year Abroad, summer internships in major metropolitan areas, etc.</p>
<p>If your child isn’t interested in this type of school, the admissions tour is not the place to push your agenda on your kid (and everyone else who might actually have legitimate academic questions not having to do with dating).</p>
<p>Do not let your husband wear a bright red rain jacket and then lose his temper and start shouting in the middle of the quad. Calm handling of family group dynamics is important. If impossible, wear low profile clothing.</p>
<p>tia3–I’m sure there is a good story behind that!</p>
<p>moose–was he surprised the students didn’t have cubbies? Oh, the embarrassment…</p>
<p>We were at an opening event where the kids were supposed to mingle and get to know each other, and the parents were supposed to, well, mingle or at least stay on the other side of the room. One mother went around with her son introducing him to all the other kids. (cringe) Surprisingly, he seemed perfectly normal and not lacking in social skills.</p>
<p>Biggest downer for me (a parent) on a college tour was having two private college counselors join the group of about five parents and three students. The two of them chatted with each other while the tour guides were talking, asked the stupid questions you’re not supposed to ask, and worst of all, one of them snapped a wad of gum for an entire 1 1/2 hours. Audible gum-chewing is at the top of my pet peeve list, so this was sheer torture. The two tour guides handled them very well - the rest of us did our best to ignore them.</p>
<p>We’re anticipating our first college tours next month as we return from vacation. These would be first glance visits for a rising junior, a since we’re in the area sort of thing. Class won’t be in session but scheduled tours are offered. Do people bring younger siblings on these tours? I imagine it wouldn’t be too hard to find something else for them to do but that means one parent sitting out. I don’t think we’d visit more than one school per day since we’ve got a lot of driving to do to get back home.</p>
<p>On the other hand re 163, at several of the accepted students luncheons we attended the students all sit at big round tables with one or both parents. No one says a word until I break the ice. Even at Carnegie Mellon, where they had current students come sit with us (one of many good things they did that other schools didn’t do), those students seemed to be taking there time until I asked them a question or two. After that I just sat back and let the kids talk, but I was surprised at how reluctant any of them were to start the conversation.</p>
<p>I am not a tour guide, but last Spring there were two lost (and disinterested) looking prospective students and two older men whom I assumed to be their fathers. I stopped and asked if they needed help with anything and things were going pleasantly enough until one of the men decided to berate me by asking me “Were you valedictorian? What did you score on your SAT? Which other colleges accepted you? Were you rejected anywhere?” I did not think any of these questions were appropriate, and felt very uncomfortable.</p>
<p>I would have started picking my nose or other body part, and, said whats a valedictorian, and then flirted with the students (well, if I was 19)</p>
<p>My son just started his tours this year, and we always bring his younger sister (she is two years behind him in school). And she is already looking at them with an eye to where she wants to go. She likes to pick up sweatshirts at the schools she likes (she says she wears them to remind her how much work she has to do). It can be a positive experience.</p>
<p>We have been doing only one tour a day. After the tour I like to wander around the area around campus to see what that is like (the kids won’t want to spend all the time on campus).</p>
<p>Momof4, my daughter was a frosh the year we looked at schools for her sr brother. She wanted NOTHING to do with touring, and managed to worm her way out of every school visit except one. She has now decided that the only school she toured is the school she wants to go to. (I’m sure she’ll change her mind in the next 3 years).</p>
<p>If your kids don’t mind going, it can be a great experience for them - get them thinking ahead about what high school courses to choose, etc. If they’re not interested, then don’t drag them along- they’ll just annoy you and everyone else.</p>
<p>I don’t really think the parents should be the ones dragging the kids anywhere. It was the opposite for me; I researched basically every single school in the US and my parents were amenable. They said that they were willing to chueffer me wherever I needed. </p>
<p>We wound up seeing 36 schools and I really got a feel for where I wanted to go-- my favorite school wound up being one that had originally seemed unremarkable, and my previous favorites were soon not even schools I was planning to apply to. The visiting process was definitely a success for me.</p>
<p>If your kid doesn’t want to visit schools, why force them? It’s their future and it should be their prerogative at this point. If it is within your means, allow them to have the option of picking a few schools out that they want to see and see how you can structure it in order to make the most out of yor trip.</p>
<p>I just learned a new insight to mute students during tours.</p>
<p>During orientation at OSU, the chairman of the Philosogy dept gave a wonderful short lecture about himself and other things to the humanities students. When it was over, zero students asked questions and 3 parents did. The chairman commented, “None of the students ever ask questions in these things” and chuckled.</p>
<p>I mentioned it to S-15 and he basically said if you have to ask a question, it means you weren’t listening! I told him that asking an interesting question shows the speaker you were listening!</p>
<p>No, it’s not that we aren’t curious, it’s just that we are generally more self-conscious and worried about what our peers will think of us. It has nothing to do with schooling - as most teachers and schools encourage questions.</p>
<p>I think that’s true, too…we’d prefer to go up to a college student and ask them directly, rather than asking an adult or someone else in front of a large group of our peers.</p>
<p>My son and I have a whole bunch of college visits in the coming weeks. Our first visit will be the obligatory trip to University of Nebraska (we are Nebraska residents). With my son’s 36 ACT and other credentials… they seem to be rolling out the red carpet… the head of the physics department is going to give him a personal tour. My son says he has some questions in mind… but does anyone have anything in mind which perhaps he should inquire about?</p>
<p>I’m actually posting because I’m not sure what he should be wearing… it’s going to be Nebraska typical… hotter than heck tomorrow. So, should he stick with kaki pants and a polo… or are shorts acceptable?</p>
<p>In a couple of weeks we’ll be visiting USC (which we’re feeling very good about) and <gulp> Cal Tech (which we thought we’d visit just for fun! eh, he’s got a shot) … a little different visit atmosphere in those instances.</gulp></p>
<p>I’ll of course be keeping my mouth shut! :o)</p>
<p>jHuston: When you are in the L.A. area looking at Caltech, check out Harvey Mudd and the other Claremont Colleges. Mudd had a great tour last year. </p>
<p>It never would have occurred to us that shorts are not part of the preferred campus tour ensemble!</p>