<p>Marny, the people I was with at VCU were more machatunim than relatives so I couldn’t gauge what they told me about the school or VCU. There is a Hillel but its web site doesn’t say too much. There’s also an interesting Judaic Studies program which is encouraging: [Judaic</a> Studies](<a href=“Redirect - Virginia Commonwealth University”>Redirect - Virginia Commonwealth University) but I still wish I knew more about numbers of Jews there and for that matter, the Yankee kind.</p>
<p>My daughter just took an hour looking at the FIT website…she is really excited!! Any suggestions as to where I can find info on the statistics for accepted students? Thanks</p>
<p>Here is how FIT describes their Honors program–obviously higher stats than regular admits:</p>
<p>Q. What are the application requirements?<br>
A. For incoming freshmen:</p>
<p>Applicants should have a B+ or better high school GPA. </p>
<p>You must present SAT or ACT scores, but the Presidential Scholars Program does not have a minimum SAT /ACT score for admissions. While the average SAT total score has been approximately 1830, the honors committee welcomes and always offers admission to students with a range of scores.</p>
<p>Here is alink to the CC FIT forum, which has lots of info [Fashion</a> Institute of Technology - College Confidential](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/fashion-institute-technology/]Fashion”>Fashion Institute of Technology - College Confidential Forums)</p>
<p>Changing the subject a bit - S2 and I are locked in a strong disagreement regarding the ongoing issue of his reading/writing skills. Adding to the 24 in the reading section of the ACT - when the essay scores became available this week - his essay score was a 5! A 5! That is one of the lowest I have ever seen. (Scores range from 2-12). Adding to that - he has now slid to a 78 in his honors English class.
S2 wants me to stay out of it. He says he is meeting with his English teacher once a week during lunch for extra help. He does not want my help and he does not feel he needs a tutor. I suggested we schedule a meeting with the English teacher to discuss amd my normally laidback son is irate. My husband is no help whatsoever - he was a mediocre student himself and thinks I push too hard.</p>
<p>I think it would be irresponsible of me to do nothing. I’m just incredibly frustrated and upset with this situation. If he was struggling in something like chemistry - I wouldn’t be so concerned - you take it one year and if it doesn’t click - you’ll probably never see it again. But reading and writing skills are critical for success in college and beyond. </p>
<p>So, I have e-mailed the English teacher and requested a meeting. I want to address S2’s grade and essays with him and see if he thinks S2 is doing everything he should be doing and if he needs a tutor. (I think I want to focus on this issue first and deal with the ACT in the spring.) Now my son is ****ed and my husband thinks I am overreacting. Lovely evening.</p>
<p>Adjusting to the amount and quality of writing required by colleges is harder than avoiding the “Freshman 15.”</p>
<p>I understand your son’s feelings, but you can’t be his heroine all the time.</p>
<p>I am just annoyed that I always have to play the role of the “mean mom”. It would be great if DH would stop watching the Office long enough to back me up. I’m pretty sure I’m doing the right thing by initiating some action - I’m just feeling like a pariah at the moment.</p>
<p>But I have to believe that any responsible parent would start taking some actions in this situation. I mean, I could just stand by and do nothing and say that he is a junior in hs and it’s his life and he has to figure this stuff out for himself - but that doesn’t feel like the right course of action to me.</p>
<p>Well, I’ve e-mailed the teacher and requested a meeting - wheels set in motion - no turning back now.</p>
<p>I am surprised it is The Office and not the baseball playoffs.
Good guy/bad guy may work on cop shows, but not in parenting.My wife and I come from very different academic viewpoitns and our kids have exploited her softer view, which only makes me less understanding</p>
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<p>I think they are now bonding over Jersey Shore! Clearly I am the unpopular parent tonight. Calling it a day and going to bed.</p>
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<p>Watching Jersey Shore together–or even allowing your son to watch those jerks exploit those sleazy women–justifies a whole separate battle</p>
<p>I think it is not much of a leap from being a fan of reality shows showing drunken hookups with the girls then being mocked the next day to being a fan of showing a gay roomate having sex via webcam.</p>
<p>Rockvillemom, I’m sorry you’re in this position! I struggle with this issue so often–do we let our kids handle (or not) their own academic challenges or do we, with only their best interests at heart, force involvement when it’s not wanted. I haven’t figured out the answer but my DH is hands off–it’s their grade/situation/future–and I’m the one asking if they’re going to meet with the teacher, discuss the poor grade, etc. or wanting to reach out to the teacher myself. Good luck, keep us posted and, if you glean any knowledge about when to intervene and when not, please share!</p>
<p>Not that there’s any redeeming social value in Jersey Shore … but it does offer all those wonderful opportunities to reinforce one’s own values by casually responding to what’s on the program rather than give prissy little lectures, teaching by negative example, as it were.</p>
<p>My two cents is with a senior to stay within regular channels. He does have to learn to advocate for himself, and it sounds like he is. But be involved - you do have P-T conferences and can talk then. </p>
<p>These kids are going to have their own tools to take to college - I agree that if there are things they have to work on there, well, that’s part of continuing to get an education. Even at top schools some kids don’t write good, clear papers (some are complete nonsense - I’ve seen them). But there are writing centers at all of them, and they get the help. </p>
<p>I know a mom who wrote her kids’ essays and basically “got her” into college. How sad! What good did it do? She has now flunked out of two colleges and I don’t know what she’s even doing any more.</p>
<p>I’m not accusing you of anything, but we do have to let things happen, starting about now. I know it’s hard, but we don’t have any choice any more. It’s senior year. That’s what we’re doing now. And if we find they have too many deficits to move on, then learning that is just as important as any “solution” we might find.</p>
<p>Again, no comment on rm’s son personally. Just general comments.</p>
<p>I think the casual responses will be viewed as prissy minilectures.</p>
<p>Those sleazy kids have become rich idols from their disgusting behavior nad our kids know that.
I saw that the current edition of “Dancing With the Stars” features “The Situation” and Bristol Palin as “stars”–2 kids with combined accomplishments of zero college degrees and at least 1 unwed pregnancy (who knows how many The Situation may have added to that total)–on equal footing with Kurt Warner, NFL MVP etc</p>
<p>RM, I am so sorry you are going through this. I would suggest that you set up a time to meet with your husband, away from your son, and tell him that you are both after the same goals, which include launching your son into independence, and that you need to be on the same page as to how to get there, and then really listen to each other so that you can approach your son with consistency.
Adolescents are so confounding sometimes. They want independence so desparately that to acknowledge our very existence embarrasses them to no end. At the same time, they need limits because their brains are undeveloped in the risk assessment area.
Is it possible that a young male tutor, perhaps a graduate student in writing, could meet with your son, sit down with him and go over some of his writing? The personality of this person would be important. A good source might be a Hillel staffer at a nearby university. I am sorry to say that many English teachers today do not sit with their students and go over exactly what they need to do to improve writing skills.
And, I reiterate that your sons needs to READ - the things that he is interested in. Could you subscribe to Sports Illustrated and leave it conveniently around? And, I know you don’t want to read about sports, but if you could bring yourself to do it so that you could discuss some of the issues with him, it would stimulate his reasoning.
Good luck - this too shall pass!</p>
<p>Sometimes the hardest thing (and believe me I know) is to step back, trust and let your child go forward on their own. (which is pretty much what he’ll have to do in college). And to show you have, and to let him develop confidence in himself. Haven’t you a few times in the past been concerned about his apparent lack of interest or enthusiasm in the process? If he has arranged himself to meet with his English teacher (or even if he is just doing it) he sounds to me like he understands what is at stake, is taking responsibility and working at this. If I recall correctly, Rockvillemom, your son is a Junior? If this doesn’t work, there’s still time for the air support cavalry to parachute in.</p>
<p>The local public schools are stressed with budget cuts, too large classes, and teachers who can’t give enough time to help kids who could use some extra support. I honestly think it best to only place in honors and/or AP classes with teachers who have great reputations and with classes in subjects of high interest. If a kid finds English hard, then why not consider a move to regular level English?</p>
<p>I suggest you ask your son if he likes his English class or if he thinks it better to move to another English class (honors English with a different teacher or regular English with a different teacher).</p>
<p>I also think the 5 is a mistake on the ACT. Perhaps it should have been a 25 and is worth a call to ACT to re-check the score to be sure it is not a mistake. I think this is very important.</p>
<p>Rockville Mom-you are doing a great job. You really care about your son’s success.</p>
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<p>While I obviously know nothing about your son’s academic performance in school or about his test-taking abilities, I wouldn’t put too much stock into one’s ACT essay score. One of my hard-working friends from high school is a brilliant writer, and told me that he only got a 6 on the essay score. He said it kind of nonchalantly too, like it’s not terribly important, and I agree with that. The SAT/ACT don’t really measure your essay-writing abilities all that well, in my opinion, as much as they measure how quickly you can scrap together a few paragraphs on a quote, and I say this as somebody who likes English, social sciences, and the humanities a lot more than Math or Science. I wish you luck with your son though otherwise, and it sounds like you’re doing the right thing by having you two meet with the English teacher.</p>
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<p>She is talking about the essay portion here, which is on a scale from 2-12. There is no possible way for anyone to score a 25 purely on the essay part.</p>
<p>RM: I relate to your situration down to S “chilling” watching JS tonight. (Up until just over a month ago we just had 5 channels, I’m not sure this is an improvement.) </p>
<p>My thoughts about intervention have been as long as S maintains a B I will stay out of it, after that as long as he is in HS I consider it my job to intervene if S isn’t able to show an upward trend on his own. . I know kids need to be independent, but while S is still with me I feel that I need to do what I can to help him acquire the tools for success. S really wants to be independent. I just don’t believe that allowing the status quo to persist is the same as fostering good independent skills. S is also a worker so when his grades drop I know that it isn’t just because he is slacking. Our school e-mails progress reports to parents, I therefore think that as a parent it is my job to respond when there is a question. Earlier this week I e-mailed S’s teacher regarding my concern about performance in AP Eng. After that I. by chance, ran into teacher and we spoke. It helped me to see that what she saw as his lack of preparation I saw as either lack of understanding about how to prepare or misiterpretation of expectations. I shared that with S and he and his teacher have spoken and they will meet for tutoring next week. I hope it helps. I hope that my intervening and then turning it over to S will help pave to way to him getting help for himself when he is on his own. There are times I have been accused of being too involved but at the same time I have seen significant progress made with intervention. I don’t support doing the work for my kid but I do see that being and advocate is still my job. I was an advocate for S1 and he transitioned to college very smoothly, I expect the same from S2. RM, I think an mom needs to do what a mom needs to do. I don’t think that helping your child find avenues to success is intefering. Doing the work for your kid is another matter. Good Luck!</p>
<p>RM: I understand how hard it is to be the “mean mom.” Just remind yourself that it’s your job to be his mother, not his friend. I think it’s a good idea for you to meet with the teacher. The teacher might reassure you that your son is doing fine, or he/she should have some suggestions of things to work on. I think that you are right to be concerened about his reading and writing abilities. No matter what he majors in, he will need those skills in college. I think it’s great that you are trying to find ways to help him develope the skills he needs instead of doing things for him. As others have noted, it doesn’t really help a HS student when a parents writes his papers. Good luck with this.</p>