<p>rm: I am sorry you’re feeling so much frustration with the ACT score. I agree that the writing subscore is not going to be a game changer.
With regard to the English grade, it sounds like your S is taking care of this himself just fine. It’s pretty impressive that he took the step to go to the teacher for extra help once a week.
It is very early in the school year still. Why don’t you see how the rest of the quarter plays out? If at the end of the semester the grade is still in the C range, then there is still plenty of time to get a tutor. On the upside, if the grade improves, then S will have handled the situation on his own.
If you have already spoken to the teacher then he/she knows that you are ready to jump in if necessary.</p>
<p>Rockville - 
It’s Friday! but in all serious, I think if your gut was to schedule the conference, then that’s the right thing. Applaud that your son took it upon himself to go for tutoring and maybe spin it this way. The meeting is to learn how to bridge the gap between test scores and academic grades. Getting the teacher on board and in the loop about future goals and expectations (and knowing a parent is watching from the sidelines) might be the difference that makes you feel more comfortable.</p>
<p>Thanks all for your responses. One thing I realize this morning is that I made a huge mistake in initiating this conversation in the evening - after a full day of school and homework - when he was ready to relax and watch tv for a while before bed. That was stupidity on my part.</p>
<p>I agree that it is great he has taken the initiative to go in for help during lunch once a week - I had no idea he was even doing that until we had our conversation/argument last night.</p>
<p>Right now - I’m waiting to hear back from the teacher and hopefully I can meet with him next week. I just want to know if he thinks S2 is doing all he should be doing - or if he thinks S2 needs a tutor. I think at this point it is pretty clear that S2 does not want my help. I realize that there is definitely some communication issues here - typical with parents and teens. I’m just trying to help - I feel I see a problem and want to brainstorm solutions. All he hears is criticism.</p>
<p>Collage1 - you and I are in complete agreement in our confusion as to when to step in and when to back off. S2 is only a junior - the thought of him getting a C junior year just sends me over the edge - but I know it would not be the end of the world. </p>
<p>I just feel his reading and writing issues are going to torture him in college and need to be fixed now.</p>
<p>Hoping to hear back from the English teacher soon.</p>
<p>RM - I think that both you and your S are doing the right thing. He was taking care of the situation by going to the teacher for help, which is a very mature thing for him to do. Both to recognize there is a problem and then to actually do something about it. I think you have also done the right thing by contacting the teacher, this way you will know if there is anything else you can do to help your S. It sounds like he is taking care of the class issue, but as his mom, you need to take care of any bigger picture issues.</p>
<p>If it makes you feel any better the past few weeks have been rather stressful for us. D is a procrastinator and will put things off till the last minute. When I know she has a huge project due in 3 days and she plops herself down to watch TV, I just want to scream. Sometimes, I do! She tells me she knows what to do and she will get it done and to stay out of her business! Oy! She does seem to always pull it out in the end, but it stresses me out to no end.</p>
<p>They do feel the pressure of Jr. year, they know so much depends on how they do this year.</p>
<p>My D gets furious at me if I contact a teacher on her behalf. She is very good at advocating for herself, but my feeling is that if the teacher doesn’t respond to her, after her second attempt, the 3rd contact is from me. It’s amazing that the teacher will respond very quickly and whatever it is gets taken care of. Sometimes they do push the kids off. I can understand that, they have huge class sizes, but our job as parents is to take care of our kids.</p>
<p>omg, rockvillemom: your 2 boys sound like clones of my 2 boys. My S2 is only a h.s. freshman, but we have been working on writing and reading issues for years. The reading issue resolved itself quickly when we bought him a flashlight in the 2nd or 3rd grade so he could read in bed “under the covers”. His writing has slowly improved over the years, but I was vigilant…I signed him up for writing workshops at the local library, I had him do writing programs in the summers…</p>
<p>as you know from your older son, the junior year is a very stressful year…the h.s.'s really step it up with their expectations…is there a class he can take over winter break? Maybe an ACT prep class devoted just to the WRITING SECTION?</p>
<p>I’m in the same boat as far as grades go too. My S1 h.s. senior is a solid A student and my S2 h.s. freshman is an A and B student, but I also cringe with the realization that he could end up with a C on his report card… but it’s not the end of the world!</p>
<p>Your S KNOWS what he has to do and DOES NOT want to disappoint you…
I think you had mentioned your S got a 27 on his first try! Not bad…I truly believe he will do fine and that he should be concentrating more on his school grades anyway…</p>
<p>I also agree with what momjr. wrote…give him the skills necessary for HIM to succeed and he will do just fine. He is not the same child as S1 and it’s hard sometimes to not compare them or put added pressure on the 2nd one…</p>
<p>It’ll work itself out, you’ll see.</p>
<p>I find it interesting that so many of us have similar first and second children. My older daughter is much more driven than my younger daughter, and while D2 has very good grades, her older sister was at the top of the class and attends an ivy league school. I’ve tried really hard not to compare them and to make sure my younger daughter feels good about herself. The best advice I ever got on CC was to “love the kid on the couch.” My younger daughter has matured a lot in the past year, and finally seems to be gaining confidence in her own abilities. She has chosen to apply to a match school ED, and we’re keeping our fingers crossed that things work out for her.</p>
<p>momjr:
I am the classic “2nd child” syndrome. I have an older sister that excelled at academics, won a fullbright scholarship, but I tease her that I am the one with common sense, practical knowledge, social butterfly, everyday “street” smarts and she agrees!</p>
<p>Because we are all used to seeing amazing results with our older children, we can’t help but expect it for our second child and that’s where the problem comes in. It is very important to have high expectations for each child, but for each child’s own ability and interests. It is very hard not to pin the exact same expectations on the 2nd child. He is equally as smart as the first child, but the first child just learned quicker how to channel his energies into proper studying…something that takes more effort for the 2nd one…they each find their own niche.</p>
<p>rm: I have no doubt that your S2 will be just fine. He taking an English HONORS class! We’re only one month into the schoolyear…you are smart to address it now and try to help him out…these kids have so many stresses they don’t know which way to turn! He knows what is expected of him…hopefully he’ll rise to the challenge…I find it difficult to “back down” too, but if you give him the tools necessary, hopefuly he’ll take over the reins and move forward.</p>
<p>GOOD LUCK! :)</p>
<p>momjr, best of luck to her!</p>
<p>I guess my kids are backwards. My older D is the one who procrastinates. Younger D, does her work as soon as she gets it, even if it isn’t due for a week. She just likes having it done. D1 is the one whose study habits drive me nuts. They both get great grades, but it seems like it comes easier to D2 because there is never the last minute crisis of will she pull out the A. D2 frequently goes into the end of the quarter with an 89 average in a class and her grade (A or B) will depend on the last assignment. She pulls out the A, but why should it always come down to it?</p>
<p>I am afraid that the bad habits will catch up to her in college. I have told her this, but then again, what do I know, I am only the mom.</p>
<p>The interesting thing is that I really don’t want S2 to emulate S1. S1 was so stressed out and so intense and he was literally in a bad mood for all of junior and senior year of hs! I’m really happy that S2 is mellow and laidback - I do “love the kid on the couch” - I’m perfectly fine with him being a “B” student. I just wish he’d allow me to help him when he struggles - that’s it in a nutshell.</p>
<p>“D2 frequently goes into the end of the quarter with an 89 average in a class and her grade (A or B) will depend on the last assignment. She pulls out the A, but why should it always come down to it?”</p>
<p>I meant to say D1, but I can’t edit the post now.</p>
<p>Those who have spent any time wishing our kids were something they are not academically might reflect on the near prfect SAT scores reportedly earned by the Rutgers kid who videotaped his roommate and the recent publicity about the Duke grad who emailed around a detailed history of her 13 one night stands with Duke jocks, including the jocks’ names, pictures and anatomical details.</p>
<p>The right values are more important than the right GPA/SATs.</p>
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<p>yabe: When you put it in that perspective…you’re right. Wonder what that kid from Rutger’s was really thinking in his mind. He obviously did not think of such severe consequences.</p>
<p>momjr: my S also applied to an ED which was a high to med. match…hope he’ll be one of the ones chosen from thousands of applications…does your D have other schools she’s also applying to now? My S has 10 on his list altogether, including the ED, but we decided not to do as many “reachy” ones as first thought. He is really looking for fit over prestige.</p>
<p>rm: Hope you and your family enjoy this glorious fall weekend coming up…we have a ping pong table at our home that does a really great job of relieving stress!! If you don’t already have one, it could be a good investment! :)</p>
<p>I think the important thing is to love and support the strengths of each of our kids and guide them through the rough patches. My S1 and S2 are such different people. Its a little difficult because at HS S2 is following with most of the same teachers, one told S2 that S1 was “perfect”. That is a tough act to follow. I think they are both great kids with very different strengths. With all the emphasis on college admission, SAT’s and ACT’s the numbers become very big and for some become the measuring tool about who the kid is. Its important for parents to keep perspective and not drag down either kid’s strengths to bolster the other. It is easy to say that one is better at this or that. I try to catch myself by just mentioning what one is great at without bringing the other into the picture. The perfect fit for S2 will be so different than S1’s. In fact the safety that we learned too late that S1 didn’t want to go to may turn out to be S2’s dream school, with S2 loving all that S1 disliked about it. I find myself facing the college ap process with equal worry for both.</p>
<p>ccc: My daughter is applying to some rolling and EA schools along with her ED school. I’m hoping that she will have an acceptance in hand before December to relieve the stress. If she doesn’t get into her first choice, she will apply to 2 more common ap schools regular decision. She’s been making good progress on her applications. Her fist few are ready to send. She’s just waiting for her English teacher to return her essay. Good luck to your son also.</p>
<p>Agree re weekend - I’m dropping the subject for now. Have not yet heard back from English teacher. I’m going to try and relax - off from work Monday - and just enjoy the weekend.</p>
<p>Have a good one everybody!</p>
<p>RM - My S came home and told me about the 78 on his math test. This is only the beginning of the year, and the class is bound to get harder. He struggled in math last year too. I have already contacted a tutor! From my experience though, your son has to be on board for a tutor to do ANY good.</p>
<p>On another topic… Does anyone have any insight about Miami Universit (Ohio)? S would be OOS. My older S had gotten accepted there, but we never ended up visiting. Seems like this school has a lot to offer a B student. Wondering how an OOS student would fit in.</p>
<p>Mom2009: I don’t have any first hand knowledge of it but I’m guessing they do a fair amount of OOS recruiting because S1 received mail from them to apply and it did look like a very nice school.</p>
<p>Indiana University?? Any insight? Feedback? Input? GC recommended it.</p>
<p>I think Miami Univ. in Ohio and Indiana University are both great choices for a Jewish “B” student. (I’d have both on S2’s list except that they are bigger than we want and further away - also colder climate). Indiana is pretty easy to get into - they have rolling admissions and I believe some kids from our hs have already been accepted. My cousin graduated from there 3 years ago and had a great experience. S1 has a very good friend there now - he was a direct admit into the Kelley business school - that is more challenging - need to be closer to an A student for that - he also joined a Jewish frat. Miami of Ohio is also a reasonable admit for a B+ student and has an active Jewish population. Both are definitely worth further research.</p>