<p>Thanks - I’ve been working how I’d describe her situation, because I want to share it here particularly. She was a B+/A- student and had choices ranging from big publics to top-tier privates; she was looking for a very specific program and ended up at a mid-tier school with certain disadvantages she knew she’d have to overcome. Some of those disadvantages contributed to her difficult transition, and since they are attributes many B-student schools share, I did want to let you all know how she’s dealt with them.</p>
<p>Like many kids she got her best offer academically, artistically, and financially from a school with many commuters and a high number of local kids who leave on the weekend (the “suitcase school” syndrome). Mostly she’s had to balance her vision of college - and the vision she got on her two visits, lots of conversations with students, staff, local people, and what she knows about these kinds of schools - with the reality. Everyone told her that she’d have “her people,” that her program would keep her very busy, give her a strong community, so that she wouldn’t notice the commuter/suitcase issue. </p>
<p>I would say that in the long run, in the big picture, this is absolutely true. And as much as she was prepared going in that she might have a challenge getting the kind of experience she wanted, I don’t think she was quite ready enough for those first few weeks. It was true that she herself had to learn to throw herself into the experience and find her way - just as at any school. But I would say that people who are considering these schools might want to prepare for an immediate set of solutions to the loneliness and boredom as the campus clears out those first few weekends, and the exciting, connected, busy life hasn’t quite started yet.</p>
<p>As I’ve said, her adjustment process could have happened anywhere - we expected it with her somewhat slow-to-warm-up/very idealistic personality. I do think the college could do more for the kids who are trying to make a full-time residential life there, but we’re seeing a lot of progress (this is a school in transition), and D hopes to help influence them more positively for kids like her in the future. </p>
<p>I’ll also say there was an element of “deus ex machina” in her case: She’s one of the kids who moved to college in NY during the hurricane. This affected things quite significantly: 1) we had to cancel a family day in Manhattan the day before move in, which not only would have been fun, but would have gotten her completely on board with going into the city - as it was, it took another full month before she could do that, and it’s a very integral part of being at this school; 2) the University moved everything back a day, except the start of classes, and they cancelled a full day of orientation activities, plus the kids lost that day of just being together, eating meals, etc. 3 days after move-in, most of the campus left for Labor Day weekend, and D was kind of high and dry (so to speak). </p>
<p>I am not trying to scare people about commuter/suitcase schools. Some of D’s best friends are commuters, and she will benefit I know from having friends in the area to visit, get favors from, etc. Also, as promised, her particular program has a much higher percentage of out-of-state kids, and she is having very much a “regular” college experience, now that things have settled in.</p>
<p>I would say that this kind of school would have been a lot harder if it: 1) were smaller, so the campus literally emptied - D’s school has a couple thousand kids who do live there; or 2) were in the middle of nowhere - hello, D’s school is near arguably the most exciting city on the planet, so you can’t blame the school for not being the hub of entertainment! I would say those two attributes would be red flags. Otherwise my only comment is just to be prepared - hopefully the kids will be ready to jump in a little faster than my D, or, if not, will be ready to wait for things to jell.</p>
<p>I have seen on CC, and do believe it, that there is nothing to be ashamed of in a transfer, and also that program really is everything. D is thrilled with her program, which is great, because she would have to transfer if that hadn’t worked out. But also just after these few months she has the perspective to see that college does not have to be everything you ever wanted - yes, we hope for a truly all-encompassing perfect combination of academic, extra-curricular, social, environmental elements, but that’s pretty rare. </p>
<p>D was the type on college tours never to want to see dorms, food, etc., saying she wouldn’t ever choose a college based on that. Well, some of those things really bothered her the first month or so - before the more important aspects of people and program took over her time and energy. Now she says she still feels that the details are less important than those essential elements, and she’s just glad to be over the break-in period and on to the good stuff.</p>