Colleges for the Jewish "B" student (Part 1)

Parents Forum
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<p>Can’t speak to the Hillel issue, or to the post-nuptial name change, but for the original thread topic: visited Goucher on Wednesday and, though I’m sure it’s already been said on this thread–Goucher IS the small East Coast LAC for the B+ student. We found it to be very similar to Brandeis in ambience, although less science/pre-med and more sensitive to learning issues. If there are any '13’s out there I suggest giving it a good look–actually, RD deadline is Feb 1 so even '12’s who are still hunting for LAC’s should give it a peek. </p>

<p>PS to RVMom–I’m in town for my 30th reunion and brought DD somewhere I’d never been, in the 16 years of my MoCo childhood–the graveyard of St. Mary’s on Viers Mill Road to see F Scott Fitzgerald’s grave. She was really glad to have the chance to see it. Little bit of RV trivia…</p>

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<p>panmom: Thanks so much for that article link. I don’t know what to make of RVM’s cousin’s name choice, it sounds like an attempt to appear ethnicity neutral, maybe as some of our parents, mine included, did. It would be good to understand the reason, but it seems that as the wedding lacked any religious tilt perhaps that is their choice for their united identity as well. That does come with a bit of a sting doesn’t it? My family is from the hyphenation generation and our hyphen is with the name I was born with not the one it was changed to. As the article stated there are inconveniences that come with this but I don’t think that my H or I would have it any other way. As for the boys, it hasn’t been an issue except that they practically had to learn the alphabet to learn to spell their name! I have taken the perspective in the article:</p>

<p>"What did our parents expect us to do when we reached this stage of our lives? They trusted it would all work out somehow. As Ms. Segal-Reichlin’s parents told her, “We figured that was your problem.” </p>

<p>Ours are the only hyphenated kids we know it was great to read that and see that there are others out there!</p>

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<p>Good question about the program being what makes the school worthwhile … There is a school near here that is a lot like Adelphi in the general sense, but it happens to have a couple of incredible specialized programs, too. Several very top kids go there for these programs. </p>

<p>My D looked for theatre programs first in making her list, so I can’t say how it would have worked out the other way around … my older D looked at overall quality of the school and pretty much could trust that her area of interest (biology) would be excellent at top schools, but she was an A student … For D2, she HAD to have the quality in her sub-section of the University to be happy, and while she had to get used to some of the other aspects that she wasn’t thrilled with, the program (especially including her peers) has trumped everything else in the long run. But that might not be true for all kids, with different needs or different personalities.</p>

<p>On CC we hear of kids absolutely loving so many different kinds of schools that I guess a lot of elements roll in. Maybe that “one thing” for some kids is location, or sports, or a great rec facility, or Greek life. Maybe for some it actually is the food. I’m not saying they’re shallow, but these are all things that you can make your life around, if the academics are good enough. They also really can be deal-breakers, if you’re perpetually miserable because of them. </p>

<p>So - yes, a certain “program” might be what makes an “average” school work out very well, but I’d define “program” really broadly. Sometimes a really great campus job that lets you do what you’ve always wanted to do is the sweetest thing of all. Sometimes it’s just the friends you make. One girl we know talked about transferring her first 2 years of college; the school was fine, but she disliked so many things about it. By her third year, she had friends that she said she couldn’t imagine living without - she said merely the idea that she might never have met them if she hadn’t gone there absolutely broke her heart.</p>

<p>I’ll mention another thing she’s told me about Adelphi: She really likes that it’s a dry campus and that it is enforced and respected. No drunk kids running around at 2 a.m. yelling, no spilled beer in the hallways or pools of vomit. Yes, the kids party, but they go off campus. This may contribute to how quiet things are on weekends, if lots of the kids who do stay aren’t physically on the grounds, but she much prefers it to the alternative.</p>

<p>Hee hee, maybe they all go over to Hofstra…?</p>

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<p>I’m glad that things are working out so well for Emmybet’s D, but there’s something to keep in mind when picking a school based on passion. A lot of kids change majors once they get to college. Several of D1’s friends switched majors by the end of sophomore year. In most cases things worked out fine, but in one case the family would have had much less financial strain if she had attended the state flagship, which has a superior program in her new area of interest. I think that it’s important to consider the overall atmosphere and academic options at a school.</p>

<p>MHC, it’s interesting to hear what your kids and their friends are reporting about Hillel. On
D1’s campus (Penn) the Hillel attracts a lot of students. They have a beautiful building, excellent food and a variety of programming directed at Jews from different backgrounds. Friday night dinner and services are especially popular. D2 has been less enthralled with the Hillel at BU, but I don’t think she was particulary interested. She attended on the High Holidays, and recently attended a lecture given by Eli Wiesel. She has made many Jewish friends, so I am satisfied with her experience.</p>

<p>Motherk: I’m glad to hear that you had a good visit at Goucher. I’ve mentioned before that my niece graduated from Goucher a few years ago. She had a great experience there, and really blossomed academically.</p>

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<p>For those that have applied:</p>

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<p>I always find it confusing as to which schools notify by mail - which post it online and then also notify by mail and so forth. Towson is apparently notifying by mail - there is nothing on their status checker to indicate an acceptance decision.</p>

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<p>emmybet, I’m thrilled to hear that your D is settled in and happy. I wonder if the commuter aspect decreases over time, as students become more attached to the kids/campus and less tethered to home. Keep us posted.
I do think that MomJr’s advice is very important, with regard to choosing a school largely on the basis of a major. Students do change so much in the first year, that there has to be more drawing a kid to a given school than just what he/she initially thinks is the major of choice. Obviously, kids who are so drawn to the performing arts are a different category entirely.
Re Hillel: the image question probably varies from campus to campus. It might be more “cool” at schools where there are no Jewish frats/sororities.
rvm: I haven’t heard of any name-changing in years (except for the occasional celeb); it certainly seems like your cousin wants to distance himself from his background. I can’t imagine how distraught his parents must be. Sometimes we have to accept and move on…
Re Goucher: I visited many years ago and loved it.</p>

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<p>Great school for a “B” student - particularly those who might describe themselves as quirky and who are more interested in the arts, travel, etc., than football.</p>

<p>[Goucher</a> College: Hillel FAQ](<a href=“http://www.goucher.edu/x12781.xml]Goucher”>http://www.goucher.edu/x12781.xml)</p>

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<p>Chabad shared by Towson and Goucher:</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.jewishtowson.com/[/url]”>http://www.jewishtowson.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>From the Baltimore Jewish Times:</p>

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<p>Goucher was on D’s list! She loved talking to the Goucher rep at a CTCL Fair, and was accepted with a nice merit scholarship. She never ended up visiting, because by the time she had all of her acceptances, she had decided against the small LACs. But aside from size it continued to be very attractive to her all along.</p>

<p>I completely agree about the concern about choosing a school based on a major - or any other one thing that could go flat for a kid and leave them with a school they don’t really like after all. In my family it was a sport that fell apart for one of my brothers (he stayed at the school but always felt let down). It is true that in these kinds of arts programs kids are making a life choice very young, and almost always if that program isn’t right, they do have to find a new school. We talked about that all year.</p>

<p>My D agonized about her decision - she had 2 top choices that would probably have given her the “whole package,” but wasn’t accepted. For 3 weeks she thought about what aspects were most important, and what she could live with as disadvantages … Finally in the end she did feel this gave her the best sum total, and the program did count for the most. It was a hard thing as a parent to say “Let’s give this a try, since it’s a bird in hand”; I never wanted to imply that she was “settling” in any way, or that she would go with an eye to transfer. But on the other hand, that does end up being how a lot of kids and families feel. You can “love” your safety, but if you loved it perfectly I guess you’d only apply there, right? </p>

<p>An interesting little tidbit was that D couldn’t have been happier at Orientation in July - I was afraid she might carry some leftover disappointment with her, but she fell completely in love after that, spent the rest of the summer FBing lots of people, couldn’t wait to go. It makes sense that the first month was a let-down: at Orientation there was a lot of togetherness and effort by the school to get kids connected, but “real” college life was very different. I do think at other schools the fall “orientation” feeling is stronger and lasts longer - but that is spilt milk at this point.</p>

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<p>This is the week of early decision notifications. (weds-thurs) I must say that since my S has only applied ED, I am anxiously awaiting and driving him crazy. trying not too, but …</p>

<p>Good luck to all and post your acceptances as soon as you know.</p>

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<p>Good luck Samtalya! I know how hard the last few days of waiting can be. I think that there’s extra stress when students who apply ED because they have made that first choice and really committed their hearts. Try to keep busy and distracted so the time goes quickly.</p>

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<p>Good Luck Samtalya! I don’t think your son will need it, don’t forget to post first before calling the family :)</p>

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<p>Sending best wishes to every waiting to hear this week! I’m guessing that Elon is the big one for Thursday. Fingers are crossed!</p>

<p>My S’s ED isn’t out until 12/15. Stomach is in knots!</p>

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<p>Good Luck to everyone the next few weeks!! </p>

<p>Regardless of the response, our kids will be fine.</p>

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<p>D1 isn’t going to Hillel much if at all, but it’s not because she finds the people there nebbishy. It’s because she says she’s burned out on Jewish things for now. Her two close friends are the same way–both were very involved in USY etc etc through high school, and now want a break. Also, D1 says that the food at Hillel isn’t great. I suggested she have a Shabbat dinner at Chabad, telling her that the food might be better and that she might find it more relaxing. </p>

<p>Good luck to those waiting on ED news.</p>

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<p>Hillel Topic: My kids were only slightly involved in Hillel, at both Michigan and Tulane. They participated during High Holidays and some shabbats. My D went to Chabad frequently on Friday nights at Tulane. They were known for amazing shabbat dinners! She ran an Israel awareness campaign that brought in speakers to the campus, but not through Hillel. My S at Michigan is involved with a Jewish fraternity so that keeps him really busy on the weekends. Most of his close friends are Jewish and he was accepted into an extracurricular program that teaches students to invest in tech start-ups in Israel. D2 used to teach Hebrew school on Saturdays at a local reform synagogue in Ann Arbor. While Hillel did not figure prominently in their lives, they were and are involved in many other ways in Jewish life on their campuses. If asked, they would say getting chicken soup from Hillel when they were sick was the best part! We always send contributions to each school. I think many of the kids who get involved on the board and in activities at Hillel are usually more religious or have found that Hillel provides them with their group of friends.My kids had developed their own groups outside that organization.</p>

<p>Goucher: I’ve had some friends whose children have gone there and what I have heard is that there is a good Jewish presence, but that the vibe is definitely artsy/laid back type of kids.</p>

<p>Names: I think the name issues is more about a sense of pride in your background. My Ds have my last name (which is Cuban) as their middle name and their father’s Jewish last name. They are very proud of both heritages, and when people ask about their names and where they came from, it leads to great conversations. I hyphenated my name and love both. America is all about celebrating a mix of heritages, but some people just want to assimilate entirely. We have discussed this often among my friends whose parents often hated highlighting their Jewishness and couldn’t understand why they were naming their kids Isaac, Jacob or Sam and choosing to attend Jewish day schools!</p>

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<p>I’ll be out of town for the next two weeks, so I want to wish all ED and EA applicants the best of luck! Can’t wait to read all the good news when I return! GOOD LUCK! :)</p>

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<p>chocchip - thank you so much for your well wishes. I just want to add my good wishes and support to those who are waiting for ED decisions in particular. I know the next 2 weeks are nerve wracking. And while we all hope for good news - I just want to say that if you do get bad news - we want to be here for you and lend an ear - a shoulder - advice and support - whatever you need. I know firsthand from my experience with S1 how devastating it can be when an ED decision - particularly one that you really believed was going to be an acceptance - does not go your way. So - fingers crossed for lots of great news - but we are here for everyone - no matter what the results.</p>

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<p>Good luck to those of you waiting for ED decisions in the next two weeks. Samtalya, will be thinking of you especially (post right away when you ear from Elon!). </p>

<p>Please send some luck over here this week for DS, who is taking SAT for the first time on Sat. His first practice full SAT score was disappointing, but he went up a lot in his second full practice SAT. Hope he can focus this weekend and do even better. You read a lot on CC about kids who have medium GPA and awesome SAT. I seem to have the opposite here. But DS has time and motivation. Still, some luck would help too!</p>

<p>Regarding Hillel: Jewish population was very important to DD when applying to schools. She’s not involved in any of that at UD (sadly). However, she is minoring in Jewish studies, so she is still interested. Even chose a Jewish topic for a research paper in another class. One of her suitemates happens to be Jewish, but that’s just a coincidence. This has all been very surprising to me. She did just interview for her URJ camp job again for next summer…so I’ve done what I can do as far as her identity. Her choices are, well, her choices.</p>

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<p>Chiming in with good luck to all the ED kids and their parents! S2’s ED decision date isn’t until 12/15 so we have a few more weeks of anxious waiting. He seems o.k. but has said on several occasions how desperately he wants to attend that school. It is definitely a reach for him, he even considered applying ED to his second choice school because the GC told him his chances there were substantially better, although both schools are very selective. </p>

<p>Either way, I am proud of him for taking the chance and for his desire to challenge himself at a school (if admitted) where he would certainly be at the statistical bottom of the academic pool! </p>

<p>Good Luck to all!</p>

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<p>Adding to everyone’s good wishes. I know this is a stressful time for parents and students. My best advice is to come HERE to vent your anxiety. Kids take their cues from us, so you definitely want to project calm around them.
Good luck also to LINYMOM’s S on the SAT. The good news is that there is plenty of time to retake if necessary.</p>