@“Yalie 2011” You statement that “One would assume going to Harvard makes parents at least affluent if not wealthy by the time their kids start college” is just not true. Yes, going to Harvard gives people an advantage in the job market, partly because of connections, partly because they only accept very qualified people to being with, but it is no guarantee of success. Going to an Ivy League school is not a golden ticket despite what many want to believe.
Buyer's remorse -- the sense of regret after having made a purchase or decision. It is frequently associated with the purchase of an expensive item or any important decision. It stems from a fear of making the wrong choice.
You ED’ed to Dartmouth and have been accepted. IMO you should not have applied anywhere ED unless that school was your absolute, unequivocal #1 but what’s done is done. So you have two choices: 1) either be thrilled about going to Dartmouth, start off with a great attitude, and have an amazing four years at one of the best colleges in the country or 2) sulk about what potentially might have been at Harvard if you had been accepted. I suggest option #1.
Not to pile on Yalie 2011 (who I think might possibly be making a sly dig at Harvard here), but I don’t agree with that statement about Harvard graduates either.
A few schools like Harvard (or Yale) will give some financial aid to students with household incomes of up to $200,000. There are many, many households with one or two Harvard grads who make more than $200,000. And there are many, many households like that who don’t.
My own D is a high school senior who is not going to college without a lot of financial aid, despite having one parent who went to Harvard (guess which one!).
Greek life really isn’t all that bad. Don’t be afraid to try it out.
<<<<<<
I don’t mean to invade OP’s privacy but why would one attend an impoverished school and get financial aid when he is a double Legacy at Harvard? One would assume going to Harvard makes parents at least affluent if not wealthy by the time their kids start college.
<<<
Who knows; it happens.
There was a double legacy Yale applicant awhile back (both parents Yalies), yet the student was very low income. In that case both parents were mentally ill and disabled.
@realfrosty
Now, whenever I tell my teachers or friends where I’m going, they get confused. And disappointed. None of them have even heard of Dartmouth
None of your teachers have heard of Dartmouth? Really? I find that very hard to believe
@mom2collegekids @yale2011
I don’t mean to invade OP’s privacy but why would one attend an impoverished school and get financial aid when he is a double Legacy at Harvard? One would assume going to Harvard makes parents at least affluent if not wealthy by the time their kids start college.
<<<
Who knows; it happens.
There was a double legacy Yale applicant awhile back (both parents Yalies), yet the student was very low income. In that case both parents were mentally ill and disabled.
In a previous thread OP described HH income as $100k-$125K - so while not wealthy, also not very low income
Classic buyers remorse. No one should make fun of this poor kid for feeling something that millions of others have felt in the past.
Go to Dartmouth with an open mind. I know someone who turned down an actual acceptance to Harvard for Dartmouth, and I’m sure she questioned herself at first, but she ended up absolutely loving her time in Hanover and does not regret it at all. She’s not a drinker or into Greek life, but she loved it all the same. You may well love it too.
Yep, it’s just classic buyer’s remorse. Go and have a good time.
There’s no guarantee you would have gotten into Harvard early. If you’d been deferred, you’d probably be posting here asking “Why or why didn’t I apply ED to Dartmouth?”
I can’t get past this “in addition, I dislike living in small, remote towns.”. You should have not applied to Dartmouth if that was really true.
Be happy with what you have -own it and grow up. Don’t be the whiney kid with a bad attitude when you go to college…hopefully you are not telling other kids in your school about this issue. Many of them will not get into any of their top schools or may get in and not be able to attend because of money.
Life is about making good on opportunities you are given not wishing for what might have been. I’d say grab this opportunity and run with it. Don’t look back over your shoulder. You’ve been given a fantastic opportunity that many wish they had gotten. Now, work hard and look for your next opportunity to become the person you want to be and help someone not as lucky.
Well, your two choices are
1° Go to Dartmouth. If you don’t like Greek Life, don’t join Greek Life. For a big city fix, plan to study abroad in a capital city and see if they have domestic exchange programs, say, in NYC. You applied ED: remember your reasons. Surely, with so many excellent colleges, there are other colleges you could have applied to beside Harvard and Dartmouth, yet you chose Dartmouth. Look into your memory and reasoning system from back in September.
2° Withdraw and take a gap year. You’ll risk not having Dartmouth AND not having Harvard but you won’t have the regret of not trying for Harvard.
Dartmouth is a phenomenal school with many advantages Harvard lacks – while Dartmouth’s Greek life has gotten some negative attention, the school has been working to make Greek life open and accepting. Many consider Dartmouth the best of both possible worlds – top notch academics in a smaller academic community. Meanwhile, at Harvard, there are thousands of kids trying to find a way to stand out, and there is controversy about pseudo-Greek life such as finals clubs etc.
No one in business or academic world is going to judge a Dartmouth grad differently than a Harvard grad. And, while just one data point, many of the Harvard College alums I have known struggled to find their place in college, because there was such pressure to live up to the label. Dartmouth is a place which focuses on the student, a much more student-centered environment, albeit with top notch programs.
Time to focus on the opportunities ahead, rather than whether people will recognize the status of Dartmouth acceptance.
My guess is that OP is Legacy through siblings who went to Harvard.
Ok, my take on it is that you can’t go to Harvard for undergrad. That option is forever gone for you. It will never happen.
Since it will never happen, I’d give myself a quiet moment to grieve for the path not taken, and then embrace the path that I did choose, for better or for worse.
I think you all are picking on him/her because of the names associated with the choice, but if you swapped them out for two colleges a few tiers down, the sentiment would still be valid-the OP is hung up on what might have been.
Don’t get bogged down in this-it’s ephemera, and it’s gone-focus now on what can be.
Some part of you believed Dartmouth was the right choice-believe in that part and go make it great.
@realfrosty I think it’s normal to have those feelings after a huge life decision. But now, you have to just look forward, not backward.
Ignore the fact many people around you have never heard of Dartmouth. It’s a top college. If they looked it up, they would find that out quickly. In those situations, just share some excitement about what attracted you to it in the first place. (If they are supposedly a friend or family member) Remember those reasons yourself!!
The only way someone should react to your news, is by saying “Congratulations! You must be so excited to start the next chapter of your life!”
As you grow and mature, you will learn not to even care what people think - take a look at this thread, you will get some laughs. http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/926354-just-smile-and-nod-smile-and-nod-p1.html
Move on, work hard and have fun!
Dartmouth has s great orientation. You’ll be over your regrets before classes even start!
As eluded to above, once you get started there - in orientation or classes, all this anxiety will fly out the window. You are in the limbo period between decision made and getting to that decision. The same thing will happen when you put an offer on a house then have that time to wait for it to close and get your keys. There are so many other grown up decisions you will make going forward that will leave you feeling edgy and uncertain. It is normal to wonder, “What have I done???!!!” for the major things we have to decide on in life.
Big decisions and changes take time to adjust to. You will love it at Dartmouth. Don’t ever apologize for going there to anyone or yourself. Own it proud.
If I would’ve been accepted to Brown…I think I would’ve felt the same as you
Now I just wished I would have chosen the school I actually wanted to apply to ED not the one my sister pressured me to apply to.
Anyways…I think it’ll work out for all of us in the end (: