i think he can catch up on sleep too since he will have a longer commute (and potentially less sleep relative to peers)
So glad I donāt live in these urban areas
The loss of life quality - whether in school or during employment - is just crazy to me.
Itās hours a day.
If youāre retired, could you potentially move to a suburb where you might get a great school and save your student so many hours.
I had a college friend leave Brooklyn to Massapequa as an example - great schools. And close.
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itās too late to move again in terms of schoolā¦ heās grade 9 and been accepted. heās really into this school so that is a gating factorā¦
but yes, i did live in nyc for a while, had the option to commute to floral park (but didnāt do it). and i was single then, so i hear yaā¦
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Doing bio homework at the kitchen table or doing bio homework on a quiet commuter trainā¦itās still bio homework, and it needs to get done. Iām not sure this is a quality of life issueā¦it chews up the same amount of time no matter where the kid is sitting!
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Interrupted by a train conductor or someone sitting next to you.
I just went Penn station to massapequa park. Half empty. Had conductor. People singing.
Obviously NY is doing it although I know many took advantage of covid remote.
Everyone thinks itās fine.
No issue.
I wish the student well.
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How will the distance impact ability to participate in after school or weekend activities (clubs, sports, etc.)? Or socializing?
weekend traffic with no deadlines/times is easier - weāve done the commute so that is not really an issueā¦ itās the rush hour traffic that is the concern, at least based on how we see itā¦ on the contrary, rush hour traffic is worst as we are heading into the core - so weekend activities and after school activities make it easier, per my view, believe it or notā¦ as we know, downtown is always sucky, whether it be philly, new york, or whatever downtown city 
ļø
I commuted for years. The 30 second interaction with the conductor, and my seat in the āquiet carā ensured that I had all the time I needed to read lengthy reports for work which were impossible to focus on in the office because every time I tried, someone would walk into my office with āgot a second?ā The train has no baby showers, no water-cooler chit-chat, no āhey, can you come look at this? The copier is jammed againā squeals from the bullpen. And no boss wandering in looking nervous to ask āDid you just get an email from MY boss, and if so, what do you think she wants?ā
The train just has quiet and other people, similarly focused on getting their work done. A Sunday on a train when the Mets are playing the Yankees? No. Saturday night during āSanta-Conā or New Yearās Eve? No. But rush hour on an ordinary work day? Time and quiet to focus. If you donāt commute (and you say you donāt, and donāt understand people who do) this obviously isnāt part of your experience.
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āeasierā is all relative, of course - easier bec traffic is less - distance clearly does not change. but weekend activities are all over the map - some happen closer to my burb right now, so itās actually immaterialā¦
of course most of the students would live closer, but directionally, we live west of the school in a burb and most of his peers would be living west too but in closer burbs - we are 2 burbs away further west, if that gives a better pictureā¦
yes, in a way, i like what i read ļø (but thatās obviously not the point of me asking - eg to get answers that i like, just so happened that you said it - that kids adjust)
hopefully my kid also adjusts to his new ārealityā. yes, we all wanted it (parents for better educational opportunities, my kid sees it but i am not so sure he is fully aware of the commute āsacrificeā), so hopefully he learns this is the ātradeoff in lifeā.
as a parent, of course i want to pamper as much as i can, but thereās a point where it becomes spoonfeeding everything vs adjusting to his real challenges - that is the concern, hence my post. (and am trying to see what potential issues we have not thought of - of course impossible to predict ALL scenarios). needless to say, if it requires a total move to the city (sell house and just move all to city), so be it ļø - but ill cross the bridge when we get there ļø
so thank you for the āreassuranceā that, at least a lot of kids will figure it out - if mine doesnāt, the forum has given me some ideas which i was not fully aware of earlier. and if it does, then the forum has helped me despite this being my only first post ļø Thank you again fellow parents.
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in no way did i want any disharmony amongst current members with my thread - apologies in advance. Iāve most certainly been enlightened with certain things i didnāt consider and reassured with some things i did, like kids do adjust - as blossom also pointed outā¦ thank you in advance again, much appreciated ļø
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You will likely find that the commuting kids gravitate towards some activities but not others.
A kid in my neighborhood who commutes to a private HS in NYC does debate (big time debate school) but not model UN. Why? Debate practice is after school- so he takes a later train. Model UN is on weekends-- so an extra day into NY- so he doesnāt do that.
Kids really do figure it out quickly! And some sports compete within a tight region and a small league- so itās workable. And other sports involve competitions far away- so kids decide not to do that sport.
The Debater I mentioned is on his schoolās track team. They run in Central Park during lunch. Meets are after school, but the HS has a bus which drops him directly off at a train station closer to his house than the one heād ordinarily take.
Why not ask the school for contact information for other commuter parents so you can hear from them how theyāve managed the logistics?
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yes, the school already told us thereās faculty that actually live in my neck of the burbs ļø now, whether they can car pool is a different matter of course - thatās another angle we thought of butā¦ i digress?
we will ask the school - good idea - for now, busy with registration and all ļø thanks for the insight
Probably not with faculty, but at my D26s school, some students do carpool with a different parent driving each day. In fact, if there are enough students in an area, Iāve heard of some parents glomming together and renting a van & driver for the daily commute. That may be a little more unique to my part of northern NJ, though.
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thanks, either way, forum participants helped juggle my mind with ideas - my main purpose on joining and having the guts to post my first āthreadā ļø keep it coming parents ļø
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good ideas - as mentioned, i would never have considered this (or initiating a van sorta car pool) - for all i know thereās already one this school - i did not want to ājump the gunā as we were applying then, but now that thereās an acceptance and a certainty of attendance, itās time to consider the minutaeā¦
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Just mentioning it as a possible concern because this is true for my kids.
If planning on study time in the car, does your son have issues with getting carsick?
Mine are fine on trains, but there is no way they could study in a car.
My oldest kid gets nauseous at times even when they are drivingā¦
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I am facing the same issue for my kids. My younger kid feels suffocated while coming back from school. Is it me or do you guys face the same issues?
Sample of one. We have friends who moved nearer to us. They wanted to keep the child at his private day school about 1 hour drive away. It lasted about a month before they decided the drive back and forth twice a day, or hanging out all day there everyday just wasnāt a realistic thing to do.
And yes, they very well could have afforded a place near to the school. They didnāt want that at all. It should have meant one parent living there during the week all the time.
Their kid actually transferred to the local public school for the remainder of that school year, and but applied to and was accepted to a much closer private school.
Are there no other private schools nearer to where you reside? Iād check that.
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