<p>It’s interesting that sometimes high schools have very different tones. We are witnessing that. Our younger one had to move to a new state and new school at start of junior year. She left a rigorous private high school and moved to a more prestigious private high school. We were braced for it to be more snobby and she has found just the opposite. She tells us of many instances of extreme sensitivity around the seniors who are often facing disappointment in their college acceptances. She says there’s an unwritten rule that no one asks where you’re “going” and in general it’s just not considered a cool topic. At our old high school were our older child graduated, everyone seemed to know exactly where everyone applied and was accepted and it was basically a really unpleasant atmosphere for seniors during the spring semester, even for ones like our child who had very strong acceptances. He felt wrung out by the tension and scrutiny.</p>
<p>It may be the difference in tone is just set by the arbitrary collection of personalities in the high school in a particular year or perhaps it’s the larger community of teachers and families. But it does vary.</p>
<p>I really think the rudeness the OP is describing would be socially unacceptable in the extreme where our daughter is right now.</p>