<p>I recently chose Indiana University at Bloomington as my first choice, but my parents are incredibly unsupportive of my decision. They don’t know much about colleges, having only payed attention to well-known/brand name schools and Ivies.</p>
<p>In terms of ranking, IU is not the highest of my options. I’ve been accepted to Tulane, Clemson, Syracuse, and UConn as well. I did not feel at home at UConn. Tulane and Clemson are not reasonably affordable as my family’s income is not low enough to qualify for a substantial amount and not high enough to be able to pay. I do not want to be drowning in my student loans. I heavily considered Syracuse because of the scholarships they gave me, but IU’s psychology program is much better, the student/campus life seems more fitting for me, and even with FA/scholarships it will be cheaper than Syracuse.</p>
<p>I have explained all this to my parents who remain unsupportive because of IU’s rural location (we’re in Manhattan) and the fact that it’s a state school with a big partying reputation. To be clear, I have not committed to IU. It’s just my first choice as of now.</p>
<p>Any parents have advice on how to get my family to be more supportive? Also if you have butt heads before with your child about their college decision, I’d like to hear how you worked it out. Thanks.</p>
<p>How the heck can your parents afford the out-of-state tuition at IU???</p>
<p>You want your parents to be supportive, how about picking an affordable school? If you want to go to a state school, why not a New York state school?</p>
<p>@dodgersmom I’m not going to explain how my family is going to afford my college tuition on an Internet forum, but the price tag of my education is not a big factor for them. We are financially comfortable. I’m more worried about affording college than they are because I’ll be the one paying off the loans. IU is the cheapest option of my schools.</p>
<p>We visited a number SUNY schools and my parents disapproved of all of them. They didn’t even let me apply to Binghamton, which I would’ve considered. My parents and I decided together which schools I would be applying to. They let me choose only one school on my own, which was IU.</p>
<p>I’m always surprised when I see questions like this on this forum.</p>
<p>Sorry, OP, but as a parent, I start with the assumption that your parents are wise and understand some things more than you do. I may be wrong, but you’d have to convince me, and your efforts are better spent convincing your parents :-)</p>
<p>Well…if you aren’t a ■■■■■, I guess I should help someone else from NYC.</p>
<p>Step one: check the “party school” rankings at the site that shall not be named. Syracuse is a STAR–ranked much higher for partying than IU. Yes, it is a private college and that site ranks it #1 of all private colleges in the US for partying!!! Are your parents really unaware of this? If so, letting them know may help your cause. </p>
<p>Step two: point out that Syracuse is ranked 62 by US news and IU is 75. Not a heck of a lot of difference. Any chance you could get into the honors college at IU? </p>
<p>Step three: IU’s so big it’s really not “rural.” I shall say upfront that I dislike the state of Indiana, but Bloomington really is in the prettiest part of the state. If you haven’t visited IU with your parents, see if you can arrange that… </p>
<p>Step three: raise the subject of Lauren Spierer. A lot of NY parents are freaked by the case. That may be what is behind your parents’ attitude. I can’t really give you much help on how to assuage their fears, except to tell them that bad things can happen everywhere.</p>
<p>OP, you are giving conflicting information on your parents’ ability to pay. You say it is an issue at some of the colleges you have been accepted to, but then go on to say it isn’t a factor. Laying out the specific costs based on your aid packages, expected contribution from your family, and expected loans would help posters out here give you advice. They may know something you don’t about strength of programs, annual cost increases at different schools, odds of finishing in 4 years in a given program, etc. that you aren’t considering.</p>
<p>Also, have you and your parents been to visit IU together? You could ask to go to accepted student days at your top 2 choices and then decide… maybe they will be convinced by visiting campus. And honestly, sometimes students change their minds when they spend 24 hours on campus and realize what they thought was their first choice isn’t after all (happened to one of my kids – ended up picking her initial #3 school after accepted student visits to top 3, and is very happy at that school now).</p>
<p>My family IS financially comfortable, but not to the point where we can really afford Tulane or Clemson’s steep tuitions. While possible, it would be a big hassle for me taking out loans trying to scrape up money to pay. I was not given any kind of financial award or scholarship from these 2 schools. Also, I do not like either enough or find them to be worth the price, so they are no longer in consideration.</p>
<p>I was however given some financial aid and scholarships from Syracuse. Even with the lowered cost of Syracuse, IU is cheaper. My parents are not very concerned with the cost, I am. They have already informed me that they will pay for my tuition, but that I will have to pay them back and whatever loans we take out. So at the end of the day, I’m going to be the one paying for my education.</p>
<p>At this point, I am only considering Syracuse and IU. Syracuse will be about 10k more.</p>
<p>We have not visited yet, as my parents are unsupportive of IU and are reluctant to “waste” airfare to Indiana.</p>
<p>First off - I want to compliment you for asking your question in a very fair, uncomplaining manner.</p>
<p>We are a little unusual as we really do want our daughter to pick her own school - we agreed on the schools she’ll apply to but the final choice is up to her. So not expecting any head-butting. We did butt heads when she was picking schools because we felt she narrowed down her search too quickly. She really did her research to find schools we could all agree on.</p>
<p>My advice would be to talk to your parents and ask them to tell you honestly what they don’t like about IU. Then see if you can’t address their concerns through the college sites. If they say they don’t know enough about it, then try to see if they won’t plan a visit with you. Do some research and find the cheapest airfares for a week-end you have free. I think that YOU might find the school isn’t exactly what you thought it might be as well - most schools aren’t like their websites and there is nothing like being on campus to give you a real feel for a school.</p>
<p>So - get their feedback and be persistent and persuasive. You can’t make them support you but since they’ve gotten you this far, chances are they care deeply about your health and happiness and just want you to go to a school where you’ll be successful.</p>
<p>If I understand the situation correctly, the choice has come down to Syracuse vs. IU. Is that right?</p>
<p>If it’s right, then visits to both schools would be a good idea – if you haven’t been there already – and so would a comparison (perhaps in writing) of all the aspects of both schools that matter to you or them. With that information in hand, perhaps you can all have a better-informed conversation.</p>
<p>I would also suggest sharing your financial concerns with your parents. You have a good point, but they may not fully appreciate how you feel. And if you talk about it with them, you may find that the situation is not as cut-and-dried as you think. For example, they might be willing to wait several years after your graduation for you to start paying them back – which might affect your feelings about being in debt to them.</p>
<p>Don’t forget the cost of getting to and from IU into the costs. Would you be coming home for fewer breaks? Is that part of the concern. And yes, I have to admit I have a probably unwarranted negative impression of IU caused completely by the Lauren Spierer situtation.</p>
<p>Is Syracuse $10K more per year or over 4 years? If it is per year, and if you truly think your parents are going to make you repay them for the cost of your education, if I were you I would offer to pay for a plane ticket & hotel for one parent to go with you to visit. You could spend maybe $800 for a $40,000 return if they are convinced (and if you are happy with your visit as well, of course). Remind them of how much money will be saved if you both like it… making it a worthwhile investment for a visit, IMHO. </p>
<p>I will say, sometimes students fall in love with a campus from afar, and find the reality to be not as much to their liking when they get on campus. Your parents may want you closer to home as well. </p>
<p>@Marian yes, it is between Syracuse and IU. Thank you, I’ll bring up the financial aspect of the situation with my parents again :)</p>
<p>@mathmom No, I think I would be coming home for all extended breaks. The cost is not a serious concern. Actually I was quite bothered too by that incident, but not enough to take IU entirely out of the equation.</p>
<p>@intparent It would be 10k more per year. My parents want me to pay them back for my overall tuition to teach me responsibility and to expose me to the “horrors of the real world.” That being said, they’ll be reasonable about the timeframe in which I have to reimburse them. I also plan on attending grad school (which obviously could change), so I’ll have to pay them back for that too. Yes, I’ve realized I may not like IU upon visiting and my parents do actually want me closer to home. Syracuse is a 5 hour drive away, which they believe is the perfect distance.</p>
<p>$40K is a lot of money… you should ask if they are willing to cover that without you paying them back if they aren’t willing to consider your less expensive option… otherwise, they should be willing to go visit with you. One of the “horrors of the real world” is going too deeply into debt for college and being unable to afford a house, kids, or graduate school because of your student debt. Whether you are paying them or outside loans, it is still a lot of extra money to borrow.</p>
<p>Are you paying back just tuition, or also tuition/room & board/fees? What are the actual costs of both (Syracuse and IU)? You may be taking on too much debt in either case if you have to pay it all back… it is very frustrating to have parents who insist that you pay the bill, but are also limiting your ability to attend cheaper in-state schools.</p>
<p>If your parents are so big on pushing real-life decision making, then they should fully support your decision to go to the significantly cheaper school. They have talked the talk, now they need to walk the walk.</p>
<p>Syracuse, while known for some areas i.e. journalism, in a general sense is not good enough to be worth the price differential. I think IU is a good choice. It’s not bizarre to prefer it over Syracuse. I certainly would. Bloomington is a nice college town, and Syracuse, well, isn’t. Neither one is going to compare to Manhattan in any case.</p>
<p>Your parents may have an east-coast bias re schools but Indiana is a day’s drive from Manhattan. 9 or so hours vs. 5. Not a big deal IMHO.</p>
<p>PS the Spierer case could happen at just about any large school in America. There is nothing uniquely pernicious about IU that contributed to that tragic situation.</p>
<p>Are they suggesting that a “horror of the real world” is that you end up taking financial responsibility for the choices of others? I.e. they are trying to force you to go to a more expensive school when you prefer a cheaper one, and you have to bear the extra expense?</p>
<p>There may also be a strong bias against public colleges in general due to the assumption of private college == always better, public college == always inferior. </p>
<p>And it’s not limited to the East Coast as this attitude IME tends to be the same/worse in other areas of the US.</p>
<p>The OP’s parents vehement objection to SUNY Binghamton is very ironic considering the prevailing perception among my NYC public magnet HS classmates and neighbors with some interest/knowledge of regional area colleges was that Binghamton trumped most areas of Syracuse academically. </p>
<p>Other than IR and architecture, Syracuse was viewed much more as a big sports/party school. </p>
<p>“My parents are not very concerned with the cost, I am. They have already informed me that they will pay for my tuition, but that I will have to pay them back and whatever loans we take out. So at the end of the day, I’m going to be the one paying for my education.”</p>
<p>The above is ridiculous. They’re not doing you any favors with this plan. :(</p>
<p>People often have mental “geographies” that don’t correspond to physical realities. Syracuse is not notably convenient to Manhattan even though it’s in the same (large) state. The route to IU, once you get out of PA, is all easy-driving flatland interstate and no huge urban areas to get around. </p>
<p>OP applied to other publics (Clemson, UConn) that the parents approved of, so I hope they do not have the view that publics are automatically inferior. The parents seem to have idiosyncratic and inconsistent views about colleges, though, esp. if they refused to consider SUNY Binghamton.</p>
<p>Especially if they strongly prefer Syracuse and the OP isn’t pursuing IR or Architecture. It’s completely the opposite situation with what I remembered from HS or hearing about more recently with neighbors with graduating HS students. </p>
<p>It was the students…especially sports/party-minded ones who were eager for Syracuse while most parents felt that college wasn’t a great value compared with some SUNY/CUNY schools or other more academically respectable institutions without big sports/party campus cultures.</p>
<p>To the OP: Out of curiosity, are your parents or any well-respected relatives Orangemen(Syracuse Alums) by any chance? </p>